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daveyjay316
28-02-06, 01:57
Hello all, my name is Dave and I am 23 (24 this Sunday) and I am from Birmingham, UK. I have suffered with anxiety since around September 2001 (the 9/11 attacks did not prompt the anxiety, just to mention). I have elaborated many a time on similar site PanicSurvivor about the nature of my panic, where it came from, what symptoms i suffer from and how this affliction has negatively influenced my life thus far but obviously this is a new site so new site, new slate so to speak.

Buckle yourself in friends, you are in for a bumpy ride (I hope you have some time spare aswell as my story is one of epic proportions hehe).

From a very early age I was a worrier, you could easily slap the label of hypochondriac on me as I very frequently had intense worries regarding my health. I was obsessed with being ill and had a really intense fear expecially about being sick and throwing up. Just the thought of it made me sweat all over. I was so obsessed with the dread of being sick that I would always be able to remember the exact date, day and time when i was last sick. As the years went by i became less obsessed with this specific fear as growing up you tend to do what people do when they grow up and thats socialise and occasionally get drunk with friends and family. Of course over endulging like this usually only results in one thing and so you could say i got over my fear of being sick by being sick, if you get me. Actually it makes me smile now why i was ever worried about being sick as a specific problem because it isn't that big a deal really, it just makes the individual feel very woozy. As time has gone by maybe it was the symptoms associated with being sick which i was terrified of and not the actually act of vomiting itself e.g feeling lightheaded and dizzy and that the room is spinning. So setting aside that issue, I am just here describing to you all that as an individual i have always been somewhat of a worrier and hypochondriac, from my early years till now.

Between the ages of 10 and 18/19 i didn't really have any major worries about anything in particular and enjoyed school (well about as much as one can enjoy school) and later enjoyed working. Things were going well. I didn't really have any obsessive thoughts about anything in particular and certainly at this stage in my life i didn't have anything like anxiety. But i really wish i knew what was coming my way over the next few years.

When i was about 19 and a half i went away to Torresmolinos in Spain with my parents as we were going to stay for the week at our friends house over there. These friends moved out there when they had saved up the money to do so and before they did move, they lived literally round the corner from us. It was literally a stones throw away! Anyway we went to visit them in the first week of September (I believe it was between the 1st and 7th or 8th of September 2001). Everything was fine, the holiday was a great one and things were all okay until the Thursday of that week (September 6th 2001). We had all been out for a drink at a beach bar and were returning home to our friends' house when in a matter of a few seconds, my life changed....for the worse! I was walking ahead of the group of 5 of us and was feeling absolutely fine. It was a beautiful hot day and i just generally had a good vibe from the day. It was about between 6 and 6:30pm when were returning back to the house my parents' friends occupied and during the walk back we had to cut through some outdoor markets. I was ahead of the group like i said and i just casually turned around innocently to see one of my parents friends we were holidaying with holding her neck. I didnt know what was going on and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. She was holding her neck and slowly lowering to the floor. She was passing out and soon after fell to the ground. Luckily she had her husband standing next to her so he was able to break her fall, aswell as a passer by, who thank the lord was a nurse. The family friend was on the ground and started fitting and so her husband put his

tnt808
28-02-06, 05:46
Davey,

Wow! You have been through the ringer. I am sorry that your anxiety has been so deblitating for you. I am even more sorry that no one truly understands what you are going through. I do understand. It's such a complex thing, especially when you can recite the days and times, and events which led up to this. If I can find the trigger why can't I stop it? If only it were that simple.
I only hope that you can find a doctor, friend, or a family member that can be there for you.
It is so hard to find the words to make loved ones relate to what you are going through. I can't find the right ones to make my husband understand. He tries though, which I am so grateful for.
My doctor told me last week, "what were your expectations for you"? "Did you expect to NEVER get ill, either physically or mentally". I of course thought well "yeah" and he in turn told me it is completely unrealistic to think that way. I do know this, but I don't want any illness, thank you!
You can reassure yourself that you are not alone. We have ALL gotten sick, be it the flu, cold, or in our pretty little heads. I don't know how to change the thought process to make the physical stuff go away, all I know is that I will try my hardest to make this stop.
I hope that you can find the strength to make it go away for you. It's an uphill battle that's for sure, but reaching the top has got to be a better view than the one out of your bedroom window, right? Please let us know how things are for you. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Take Care,
Tina

Ma Larkin
28-02-06, 09:20
Hi Dave, we can all relate to the physical symptoms you have, palps, breathlessness, chest pains, muscle spasms. All the typical signs of anxiety. When I was your age I went through a couple of years of fainting, whether it was hormonal or not I just don't know. It always seemed to happen if I had been say stood at a bus stop for a while then i'd get in work & pass out, I thought it was a change in the temperature, turns out I had low blood pressure, not all the time, just when I fainted, apart from this my blood pressure was fine. I got it in my head though that every time I went somewhere where I had to stand in cold then warm atmospheres it was like I willed myself to faint, & I would do! I avoided Asda for 3 years, always fainted in Asda. In the end I walked in one day, told myself "get as grip Les, its all in your head, you are not going to faint" and I didn't. I've never fainted through a panic attack. I keep telling my mum & my kids "if i have a panic attack & faint then get an ambulance cos you can't faint with a panic attack". I don't know how true that is, but I haven't fainted through panic or anxiety yet. I do get the spots in front of my eyes & feel kind of "out of my body" but it eventually passes. I've never suffered from agrophobia type symptoms, I'd rather be out in a crowd, like your friend in Spain. If you think about it, she was lucky she wasn't on her own, at least she got help quickly & there was no lasting damage. Like you say, it probably was just heat exhaustion. A lot of people pass out on holiday, too much sun & drink. I've done it myself a few times. Anyway, welcome to the site. You'll find tons of information on here & meet some people in similar situations, just remember you're not alone in this.

Les

trac67
28-02-06, 09:42
Hi Dave,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

Alexandra
28-02-06, 09:48
Hi Davey,

Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of help & support on here.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

jackie
28-02-06, 10:47
hi dave . wow is right. there have been many long letters but boy i think you have beat them all. i think you are a brave man to still be standing to face another day and i just no this site will make you stand even stronger. i have no doubt that your experience will make you a valuable member and many will appreciate your knowledge.

i think your symptoms are just like many of ours and as someone who suffers from worry about her heart i no exactly where you are coming from. have you read claire weekes books on you r problems and how to overcome them, you will get her books from the site below. have you ever had cbt?

either way we are here if you need us and hope you feel less alone now that you have found us

take care
jackie
Reading for sufferers of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=reading)

mattynipper
28-02-06, 15:48
Dave
Iam 24 Years old from Ipswich and have a very similar story to you but have not suffered depression and am ok socially. I keep felling light headed even though sometimes I feel relaxed. I am going to try and improve my breathing as work in office environment and always at desk. I went through the stage of constatly feeling my pulse, fearing death, having a heart attack and thinking i had put my body under a lot of strain which might catch up with me but your body is a great healer and will take time but you will get better. I was in exactly the same position but somehow there!

I now fear getting palpitations as they really scare me! Just wish they would be gone forever. The more I think about them the more they occur. Just given up caffine and it has definately help. Now try the fill the whole day doing things like listening to music and exercising. I am getting married next year and am determined to get fully right for the wedding.

Be positive, you will get better!

Matty

mn

Karen
28-02-06, 19:27
Hi Dave

Welcome to the forum.

You'll get a lot of help and support here.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

seh1980
28-02-06, 19:43
Welcome aboard!! :D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

Sue K with 5
01-03-06, 00:07
Hi Dave

Welcome to NMP!


Glad you have found this site please keep posting and I hope things start to improve for you .

Sue with 5

scknight

angelvickie
01-03-06, 05:34
Hi & Welcome Dave,

I can totally understand what you are going through & I'm sure many others can too. Im currently not working due to it aswell. I panic when I am out of my 'Safety Zone' which is pretty much my house & village.

I find public transport a nightmare and for the last 4years havent even attempted to use it. Which also leads to the whole no job thing etc etc.

I know how bad you can feel sometimes....especially with people not understanding what you are going through. But with time & the help from everyone on here...I'm certain you will conquer it.

Here if you ever need a chat & well done for taking the first steps to recovery, by sharing your story.

Vickie x

katyfitz
01-03-06, 11:10
ive sent you a few pms that might help with information but havent heard back. hope your well or getting there remember only U can come out of this but with the help of us

Meg
01-03-06, 12:37
Hello Davey

Thanks for a very comprehensive history.

Your journey is a very usual one of a vulnerable personn coming into contact with a situation that scares them, they then hold that close to it, dwell on it and get caught in the fear of the fear cycle.

Noen of your body symptoms are unusual although if the thyroid check was never done , you would be wise to get that checked out as a matter of routine.

Your restrictions are a cummulation of your thinking patterns that have you convinced that you are far more vulnerable than you are and only you can get yourself out of this spiral .

I suggest yopu see your GP and ask for some CBT help. Explanation on our home pages

Read and digest the First Steps article and
check our reading page as linked to by Jackie above and get Claire Weekes and Shad Helmsetter books and join the telephone recovery service at ww.nopanic.org.

You can be ablsolyely fine from this and put it all behind you with some work and practice and perseverence. Read the success catagory for some inspiration and hope

Common Symptoms of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=symptoms)

First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety)




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

daveyjay316
11-03-06, 14:11
Hey guys

May i just thank you all immensely for the overwhelming support i have recieved on my post. It is so comforting to know that I am not in this battle alone and we as people will probably have more in common than any other people in the world because of this affliction we begrudgingly possess.

God Bless You All and hope you have a panic free day! :)

I will post again soon, I feel as though I ranted enough in my first post that some people are probably still reading my initial post and getting to grips with my problem and my background etc. I get worn out reading over it again myself.....I was on some hyper writing mission that day

Take care

Dave
UK

maxxie
11-03-06, 21:47
Hello there, I can completely understand your fear and anxiety, I have had panic attacks and general anxiety for 10 years now and still dont understand it totally and I am around the same age as you....

I know ppl dont understand what you mean when you talk about anxiety and they say that only you can get out of it yourself which makes it feel more scary.

I promise you, you will be able to work again and once you start your career/job it may be hard for a time but your mind adjusts to everything again and you stop thinking about the symptoms etc...

Take Care, Max

Piglet
12-03-06, 12:02
A very big welcome to you Dave :D

Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

sal
12-03-06, 23:01
Sent you a pm hun

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".