So scared

[Sal x]

Hi Everyone...........

I have just got to get something off my chest...........(sorry in advance if I sound like I am moaning too much)

I have been fine over the past few months, the PA's have gone down to nil and the intrusive irrational thoughts have become a distant memory.........that is untill I have been having problems with work. The company has been a bit rocky now for a few months and last week we eventually went into Administration. I think I will find out today how long I have left here as there are only about 20 of us left of about an original 100.

Its really strange as I haven't been worried about it as I am in quite a lucky position in that I am married, and my hubby earns enough to support us both. But why has the health anxiety come back to bite me in the backside now ???

I have my own theory that it is impossible for our minds to worry, sorry, obsess in my case, about more than one thing at once.
I think my subconcious mind is telling me :
"hang on, you don't ever worry about normal things that are happening in your life, but you are feeling anxious about something, I know, I will make you obsess about something I know really frightens you IE : Dying"

Can anyone relate to this ??

I was speaking to a friend yesterday who told me that someone we both knew had died out of the blue last week after going for a lie down.....I immediatly went into a panic, but was able to control it as best I could as i was at work.
My thoughts were "This WILL happen to me if I feel ill and go for a lie down" which then brings on headaches, dizziness etc....and this becames a visious circle.

I am trying so hard not to avoid talking about death as I think this won't help me in the long run as I just want to like mosy other people and just brush things like that off as unusual cases and then just carry on without obsessing (sorry if this is not making much sense)

I really want to look on the up side of life, as I am 27 and what are the chances of me dying suddenly for no reason ?????

I would be grateful for other peoples views and experiances of this.

Thanks
Sal x [xx(]

[katyfitz]

Sal try not worrying, you have gone through this panic for a long while and then it stopped and your STILL here to tell the story. im so sorry to hear about your friend, maybe he/she was diagnosed with something and never told anyone or maybe he/she has inherited something fo the family? normally these things can be found out, its normal for you to worry as much as you are because your a pa sufferer and anxiety sufferer, but dont think your life will end i do too but by coming on this site im learning that i cant licve everyday thinking its my last, the more you dont think about it the more good things come in to your head

all the best remember everyone in the forum is in need of help or a survivor

[Alexandra]

Hi Sal,

Oh hunny you are going through so much at the mo, its not surprising you are feeling like this.
Your not moaning at all & you have definantly done the right thing & getting it out in the open on here.
I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for you re work issues.
I now it can be hard but please stay as positive as you can, we are all here for you.

Take Care

Alex

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Sal, my friend died unexpectedly in her sleep a couple of months ago. She was 59 & the life & soul. She died of some bronchial related disease which turned into pneumonia, she thought it was just a cold, went to bed & didn't wake up, just like that. I have worried myself half to death ever since. Personally, I thought she was fitter than me even though she was older, but we do go into to panic mode worrying that it will happen to us, especially when its so unexpected & you don't really know why it happened. What are the odds though? I think most PA sufferers have had trips to A&E for ECG's blood tests, god knows how many times. I reckon i've done 15 trips to A&E all with the same outcome, absolutely nothing wrong with me! I wish I could stop thinking these thoughts, but it aint easy is it, I find it nearly impossible to stop thinking these thoughts. I just hope I live to a ripe old age & then i'll wonder what all the fuss was about. At least you have a stable home life which takes the pressure off your job problem & a hubby who can support you. You're a lucky girl Sal, be blessed with what you have & lets see more positive thoughts from both of us.

Take care, Les, x

[jackie]

sal remember 2 things. first of all you have did this once, an dif you recovered through acceptance as claire weekes advocates then you truly accept setbacks as well as a crucial part of recovery. because nervous illness is a thing that can return it is important not only to deal with recovery the first time , but to accept the feelings if they return. eventually you will say ok here are these feelings again, but i have truly accepted them once and i will do so again.

if you were getting better but all along hoping an d dreading another episode then setback is inevidable. you must learn to not fear its return but believe that it doesnt matter if it returns for you will cope with it as you did the first time, without fear of it.

secondly, you must remember that you are not alone, we are all here every time you have a setback to remind you that you have done so well in the past and will do so again.

i hope you dont panic by this set back as in my opinion the greatest expert of them all -claire weekes- says that not only is setback probable, but it is essential for recovery
jackie

[molly15]

hi sal sorry your going through a hard time.im going through exactly the same thing with health anxiety.i always think the worst.when i hear of someone dying suddenly it freaks me out too but i try and tell myself this is very rare.u hve been doing really well so think of this as a minor setback and try to move on from this.i know its hard im trying to get by my fears at moment.hope this helps a bit. marciaxx

i have to do it for my kids if not for myself marciaxx