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View Full Version : The real reason for my anxiety????



winterjas
02-09-10, 21:37
My anxiety / depression started as soon as we moved into our house 4 years ago. We have been been plagued by noisy neighbours for years, and have gone through hell with various complaints from, loud music, all night parties, washing machine on all night, doors banging etc etc etc. The trouble is we own our home, and since the house price crash cannot afford to move. The house next door is privately rented and we are now on our 4th set of tennents, who thank god are quiet. but I am dreading next month when the lease will be up for renewal and we could possibly get new neighbours and the hell will start all over again. the toruble is the walls are so thin its a nightmare.
I never suffered from anxiety or anything until moving in here, now I am anxious all the time when I am in the house and dreas any noise whatsoever. I also avoid having poeple round in case their are any noises. I am always ok at work, out socially, on holidays, at others houses. It is ruining my life and my children are beginning to sense my problems.
I have been on and off meds over the years, which just made me a zombie, and didn't cure anything.
I am now trying to heal myself without help, and have been wondering whether the root of my problems run deeper. I want to learn to break this cycle of anxiety and tenseness when I am at home.
I didn't have a particularly happy childhood. My mother never showed she loved me, although I never went without and we get on ok, besides a had a lovely wider family. My step father was a drunk though, and would come home late and smash things up and row with my mum. i rememner laying in bed feeling anxious until he came home, dreading what would happen - most of the time he and mum would just go to bed, but on the occasions they would row I would lay awake with covers over my ears while they argued, this went on from the age of about 8 until I moved out at 18. I am wondering if this is where the sensititvity to noise comes from? or the feeling of dread at coming home, as I used to get this when I was younger, although ive never had it in any other place ive lived in since moving out.
I also had a particularly bad birth experience with my last child two years ago, it was very frightening and I thought I was going to die. Even though my anxiety started before I was even pregnant, it has worsened since the birth, but that may be because after he was born the neighbours at the time were the worst of all. Maybe this is another reason?
I just dont know anymore.....I cant be like this because of the neighbours can I? :weep:

Ambers
02-09-10, 21:52
My childhood was unhappy too and although I didn't think it caused my current state - after CBT I have started to realise that actually it did start in childhood. I would suggest it is likey your bad neighbours just triggered off the stress that you hid away for years. We dont have (any) neighbours - but I hate hearing shouting/bad language because it takes me back to a not nice place, any sudden noise and I jump. I cant offer advice as I am new to all of this and still learning about it all...but I understand where your coming from and offer cyber hug x

Ambers
02-09-10, 21:54
BTW my panic attacks/anxiety didn't start till I was 27! Something happened which set my path in motion.

winterjas
02-09-10, 22:00
Thanks for the hug! I suspect you are right, and have wondered whether CBT could help, it is still early days for me too, I have only recently admitted my problem may be more than surface level, which is very daunting to me as I am a practical thinker and if honest a little scared of therapy. But I have to be a grown up and deal with this. Its nice to know im not alone with the jumping at noises etc. Although i hope you are finding some comfort and healing now.:wacko:

winterjas
02-09-10, 22:02
Just noticed your last post, I too did not get any anxiety etc until I was 26, like you say maybe there is just an underlying trigger?

Ambers
02-09-10, 22:20
I have only had one session so far. I am finding CBT is actually very practical and extremely logical in dealing with anxiety. I think it will work for me (hoping anyway) because I really want to be happy and enjoy life with my hubby & child.

Good luck

Bill
03-09-10, 03:12
I think your anxiety could be based in your past but it could just as easily be due to a build up of stress over the last 4 years as you've never been allowed to relax.

You say the house is rented privately. Do you know the people who are letting it out? Are they approachable? I think if you could create a link with them and explain to them how your health is being affected, maybe they will offer to either attempt to be more selective or offer to intervene more if the people they rent it to are unsociable?

I can certainly empathise with you though because we also had 4 years of stress due to unsociable neighbours and the walls were so thin we could hear everything even throughout the night. Even after involving the council who couldn't help, we were lucky enough to be able to move but it turned out for the best.

I realise though in your circumstances moving doesn't sound a viable option but I do feel that if you can find help so you can relax in your own home, your anxiety will greatly ease perhaps then without the need of any other forms of treatment.:hugs: