my bf wants me 2 stay over he doesnt understand

[ktloubish]

my bf wants me 2 stay over at his house as thats what we normally do on a sat nite i tried 2 stay over 2wks ago n felt very panicky n had 2 go home
i really want 2 stay and dnt want 2 let him down , hes getting frustrated with me tht i wont do the things we used 2 do n that i stay in all the time , ive tried 2 explain panic and anxiety 2 him but im sure he doesnt understand

:( thanks for reading

katie x

[Ails:-)]

Hi Katie

Sorry you are having such a hard time at the mo.

Can I ask - what makes you feel panicky at his house?

Is there anyway he can stay at yours instead? Maybe you could compromise and go to his house for a couple of hours and if you feel okay stay but if not then head home?

It is so difficult to find people to understand exactly what panic and anxiety feels like and I think that unless someone has suffered from it themselves then it is really difficult for them to understand it. How about getting your boyfriend to read some stuff about panic attacks etc? Might help him to understand it a bit better?

The thing I am finding at the moment is that I am stopping doing things and going places that I have panicked before and this is exactly what the panic wants! I guess, easier said than done, that you have to look at the panic like it is your enemy? Not sure if it works or not as I have never tried it! Maybe I should give it a go!

Hope you are feeling okay and that you manage some time with your boyfriend tomorrow evening.

xxx

[shinderuko]

I stayed at my boyfriends for the first time in 5 months last week. I was very nervous but I knew that I had the option of going home if I needed to.
I think you should talk to him about going to his house and seeing what happens instead of saying you will definately stay.

[loli1982]

hi, ive got the same problem, ive been seeing my bfriend for 7 months and still havent stayed at his! ive just started going for a hour to start with, then building up bit by bit, im up to 4 hours now! woohooo!!! if i start to feel a little flakey, we go for a walk for a bit, then go back in, this really seems to be working for me!

[ktloubish]

thanks for all ur support he ended up staying at mine lol but ive told him i will try staying at his next week. hes pretty frustrated as hes gone from seeing me most days 2 maybe twice a wk i understand that must be hard on him so im gunna take little steps like u all suggested n hopefully make it nxt wk thru the night lol
thanks again
kt x