HIV worries, I'm terrified - please help

[MoonlightFire]

Ok here's the story - 8 and a half years ago I went on a date with a guy I met in a club. I ended up having unprotected oral sex with him. I didn't swallow (sorry to be graphic) but I had a sore gum which bled if I pressed it. He told me he'd slept with 46 women but I don't know if that's true or not. He said he always used condoms. 9 days later I got a rare gum infection. I'm so scared. I really want to go for a test but I'm terrified. Can anyone give me a bit of reassurance to help me get the courage up to go for my test? Is anyone else worried about HIV who could give me some support? I'm feeling so desperate :(

[alicegreen]

I would say if it was that long ago, and other than the gum infection you are otherwise healthy, you dont really have anything to worry about.
If you feel that the test would put your mind at rest maybe just get it done and then you can relax.
X

[nomorepanic]

Why do you think you need a test 8.5 years on?

I would have thought you would have had problems by now if it was anything to worry about.

[josparks]

hunny im sure u dont have anything to worry about

[MoonlightFire]

I'm pretty healthy. I had a bit of a breakdown a month ago and got ill - I got the cold sore virus inside my mouth followed by a fluey type bug. Panic really set in then.

[josparks]

ive had flu to hunny i do think u are ok its 8 and a half yrs and u have no had anything seroius dont panic

[MoonlightFire]

I had the gum infection back 5 years ago and it got really bad after having flu and an infected wisdom tooth. The infection I had can be due to having a compromised immune system. That's what scares me.

[nomorepanic]

It is still a long time ago to worry about now though isn't it?

If the only thing that will settle you is to have the test then by all means get it done but try not to obsess over it please.

[josparks]

flu when it hits knocks u for 6 and it can take 7 weeks to get back to normal for any 1 so with everythin u would be low any 1 would when i had 2 teeth taken out i got infection after infetion i was on antibiotics for 3 weeks look at me now just stupid anx wrckin my life so i wouldnt worry hun cos after all that if ur immune system was that low u would have had every oppertunistic infection goin and more thatn what u had so i recon ur ok hunny

[MoonlightFire]

Thank you guys :) This board has been such a great support over the last couple of months and I am so greatful for that.

Has anyone else here been through this worry? I wish I could take control of this. I'm still really scared :( and I googled the other day and made myself MUCH worse. If you have or have had this fear please write back :)

Moonlight

[MoonlightFire]

PLEASE PLEASE reply!!!

[nomorepanic]

There are loads of here with HIV worries - use the search facility and you will find them and you can read their stories.

[MoonlightFire]

I have. I read them every day to keep me going :(

[nomorepanic]

Why don't you get a test done then?

[MoonlightFire]

I'm too scared. Thank you for your replies Nicola :)

[nomorepanic]

Ok look at this way - are you wasting your life wondering what if??

If your quality of life is so bad that you worry over something wouldn't you rather know so you could do something about it?

Please don't waste your life on what if's and maybes - it just isn't worth it to be honest.

I do feel for you but want you to realise that all this negative thinking is not achieving anything at the end of the day and I really don't think you have HIV and want you to live a happy normal life without all this worry.

[sugarpuff]

Hi Moonlight

I have same HA about HIV have done for about a year now , in that time i have had 3 tests all negative, and i am constantly in fear of catching it through way or another, it rules my life at times, i understand how you feel its a complete drain!. i do have some days that i know im ok and others where i am in panic all day
There are quite a few of us on here with the same worries
PM anytimne if you want to chat, always happy to help and its also a comfort to know that we are not alone and we can help each other!
xx

[constantworrier418]

Go for a test!! the only way you'll get over this is if you rule out HIV. I have had this worry too, but be careful - when you get the negative result you need to draw a line underneath it as I didn't and carried on having HIV tests and now I'm over the HIV thing but I worry about cancer instead.

The test itself is really quick, you can go to your local GUM clinic for a test and the wait for the result is about one week sometimes sooner depending on where you go. I'm sure the staff will tell you your risk is minimal and you don't need the test but why go on feeling like this if a simple blood test will make you feel so much better? If i could rule out all types of cancer being in my body by a blood test I'd go for it. IF in the most unlikely event you do have it (BUT I DON'T THINK YOU DO!!) the disease is manageable and it's better to treat early rather than late - but eight years down the road I would imagine you'd be quite poorly by now!

PM if you need to - but I really hope you can get over this either by a test or by accepting you don't have it.

xx

[london]

like i said go have the test put your mind at rest i dont think you have got
god bless

[sugarpuff]

i agree with everyone else here, i honestly dont think you have anything to worry about, constant worrier is right take test but then forget it, hypocritical of me i know! as i have not be able to do that yet
You can have an insti test which will give you a result in 60seconds.

[LisaLisa]

Hi MOONLIGHTFIRE
Im sure we spoke already. Im a long time worrier about hiv and probably a good example of what not to do after your negative tests!!!....keep on thinking that i have it and then actively try to proove it through google and generally acting like my world is ending!!

So just dont do that ......it sucks!

Go get a test, someplaces can test instantly and most gum clinics do a same day result. Getting hiv test now adays is so common and loads of normal folk get them all the time just becuase it so beats worrying about something because you cant see it and therefor cant control it ! so to speak.

i felt like a complete nutter, i took my mum with me....can you beleive it!
three times!?!?!?!? i love my mum so much

I also had one done by my gp, which unfortunately caused my overanxious mind to interpret as ' he thinks ive got it becuase he is doing what i ask'
Obviously the poor man just no longer knew what to do with me. After he said that he would i ended un having to be seen out of hours by a mental health nurse becuase i though he must think that the other tests are wrong!! I was totally mental. However out of interest for you,he did say that having the negative test resulton your medical notes is no longer of interest to any insurers or anything else, only positive results are now, which make your gp a good place to have it done too.

Then i fell pregnant and had another negative test then as well.


my incident , which is uprotected sex in a relationship with a guy who i later distrusted immensley! and a stupid bellybutton peircing when i was drunk and didnt look to see if they used sterile equipment are also 8 and a half years ago.


PLEASE STAY CLEAR OF GOOGLE. i CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!!

HIV has many many many general signs and symtoms and as the NHS say , even specialist in hiv get it wrong all the time and need tests to give them the answer. None of the symptoms and signs of hiv are specific to HIV and can ALL happen for other reasons, an extremely huge amount of them due to stress and anxiety conditions.

You have to have a test then LEAVE IT THERE!
you seems to have an anxiety disorder and for that reason you really cannot trust your judgment here because you arent using logic you are using fear and emotion to let you 'feel' that you have HIV when logically you have absolutely no more reason that anyone else who has ever had sex.....even my nan lol!!! (shes ninety but im here so she has had sex yuk!.....)

PM me if you want to chat hun

Lisa
xxxxxx

[MoonlightFire]

Hi guys,

Thank you so much for all your comments and your support :) :) I love this board!

Lisa, hehe that bit about your Nan made me laugh!!

I feel a little bit better about things and am psyching myself up for the test which I think I will have to have. I'm trying to keep myself reassured by thinking about what the Terrance Higgins Trust and my Doctor have said to me. Also thinking about how I had a virus and bug last month and fought them both off. Also I have had 2 Full Blood Counts this year and the only things they found were that I have low potassium and a slightly elevated cholesterol level. Also, before my anxiety came back with a vengeance (at the end of July) I had been healthy...no colds or flus for years. Ive lost some weight since the anxiety came back but I'm just trying to put that down to stress.

Thanks again to everyone who has replied :) :) It's so good to have people to talk to who understand.

Moonlight Xxx

[Hazel B]

I did this to myself 20 years ago, after being a student and not always being protected. The news was full of scare stories and I made myself ill worrying, thinking I had symptoms and checking my body all day. It was an exhausting trap. I finally got the courage to go for a test and it was negative. I also had another test recently as I was at the GUM clinic for another reason and they were taking blood anyway. It took only one week for me to get a result and it was negative, not that I was worried at all.
Please take my advice and go for the test, it will put your mind at ease, there is no other way to break the pattern of worry. You will need to be brave, take someone with you if it helps.
Do not look online for symptoms, it makes it worse. Best wishes.

[helpme12345]

Listen people only survive for ages with HIV because of modern medication, if you had HIV you would have been dead within a year

[helpme12345]

BTW HIV would not give you a gum infection it is not a bacterial infection

[MoonlightFire]

Yes but after exposure the virus damages your immune system temporarily which would allow infections to get in.

[helpme12345]

ok but u r not dead.................. baseline

[ladybird64]

Listen people only survive for ages with HIV because of modern medication, if you had HIV you would have been dead within a year

Dead within a year? Can I ask where you got this information from? It's not accurate.

[MoonlightFire]

Listen people only survive for ages with HIV because of modern medication, if you had HIV you would have been dead within a year

Wow, that's definitely not true!

[constantworrier418]

Hi

If your recent routine blood tests are showing normal then I would take comfort from that as when I had a routine HIV test when I was pregnant with my first child I was worried that the negative HIV tests I had 7 yrs before might be wrong (usual health anxiety playing havoc with my rationale!) anyway whilst waiting for the results and getting myself worked up good and proper I was told by a nurse at a gum clinic that routine bloods taken the same year for a different reason would have flagged up abnormal readings -so although the bloods you had done recently didn't include a HIV screen it would certainly show an effect on your blood count etc so I hope that can offer some reassurance xxx

I really hope you can go for a test as I would bet good money on it being negative!!

[Hazel B]

Please get the test done, it will put your mind at ease You are tormenting yourself and this will make you ill. You can go to the nearest GUM clinic, they are professional and discrete and know that people are nervous and scared about the results.

[MoonlightFire]

Thanks Constantworrier, that does help :) I have had 2 Full Blood Counts in the last 9 months. The first came back normal except for high cholesterol and low potassium. The second (which was taken 6 months ago) came back with low potassium and a low neutrophil count which the doctor I saw for the results didnt tell me about!! Then I saw it on the screen when I went to the Doctor recently so I asked about it...she said that everyone getting blood tests back at the moment was getting low neutrophil readings and that there was probably something wrong at the lab. Phew...I think. Typical of me to focus on that!

Thank you again for your comment :) It is very much appreciated. I am building up the courage to go get tested :)

Moonlight Xxx

[beaniepudblue]

sending huge hugs for your anxieties over this ((((((((((( hugs)))))))))))))))

hope the replies on here give you reassurance xxxxxxx

[constantworrier418]

Although there is a fine line between going unnecessarily for tests and then becoming caught up in the HA cycle I do think that you're not going to feel any better until you do go for that test. Also the stress of the worry is going to make you ill and you're going to use those symptons as a pre cursor for having HIV - when in fact its the stress of the worry causing the symptons.

You're thinking the worst anyway so go and find out once and for all and then get on with your life. YOU DON'T HAVE IT!! but you need to put this one encounter to one side and until you take the test I think you're going to carry on re living something you did a long time ago

pm if you need to I know how this feels xx

[MoonlightFire]

Hi everyone. I finally worked up the courage to get my HIV test yesterday! My test was negative!!! Thank you to everyone who has helped and supported me on here with regards to my HIV worry. Thank you from the bottom of my heart :) :) You've been a wonderful support and you helped me take a very important step in my life :) xxxx

[Vixxy]

Well done :)

[Hazel B]

Great news, well done!

[josparks]

well done hunny im so proud of u told u u were ok really proud of u xx

[MidnightCalm]

Wow! I'm really proud of you :)

[constantworrier418]

I've been away so haven't been able to check the forum for a bit but I have been wondering how you were doing, so so pleased for you - forget about it now and get on with your life :):):) x