Katiex
04-09-10, 11:52
I am always thinking about things that have or may have happened to babies and children. The Baby P and Jamie Bulger details go round in my head almost every second. When I'm not thinking about it the thoughts just pop up and I end up in tears.
I signed out of my hotmail account this morning and on the hotmail page found an article about the titanic so I read it, then my thoughts were about the babies and children that were on it and I had to find out how many died. One in particular was a little boy called Sidney who was only 19 months old. I know I should stop reading things like this but I just can't stop myself.
I have cried and cried this morning and feel so depressed now.
I also have horrible thoughts about the washing machine, I seem to believe that there is a baby in it after I've switched it on and end up stopping the cycle to keep checking through the clothes. Its beginning to take over my life. My sons were at my mums for a few hours the other day so I thought I'd get some washing done but I couldn't because I kept thinking my youngest might have climbed into the washer even though I knew he was safe at my mums.
I can't take antidepressants as they worsen my Fibromyalgia. I have CBT lined up but it could be next year now because I'm on a waiting list.
My brain is constantly fogged up with thoughts I can barely function.
I signed out of my hotmail account this morning and on the hotmail page found an article about the titanic so I read it, then my thoughts were about the babies and children that were on it and I had to find out how many died. One in particular was a little boy called Sidney who was only 19 months old. I know I should stop reading things like this but I just can't stop myself.
I have cried and cried this morning and feel so depressed now.
I also have horrible thoughts about the washing machine, I seem to believe that there is a baby in it after I've switched it on and end up stopping the cycle to keep checking through the clothes. Its beginning to take over my life. My sons were at my mums for a few hours the other day so I thought I'd get some washing done but I couldn't because I kept thinking my youngest might have climbed into the washer even though I knew he was safe at my mums.
I can't take antidepressants as they worsen my Fibromyalgia. I have CBT lined up but it could be next year now because I'm on a waiting list.
My brain is constantly fogged up with thoughts I can barely function.