View Full Version : hodophobia
i have developed a sighnificant fear of traveling over time
now i wont wander mor than an hour awy from my home.
I have been invited by my girlfriend to see a concert, the tickets where my birthday present th e concert is 5 hours away. I dont know what to do!
Rennie1989
28-02-04, 08:13
if ya need to just say ''i cant do it, im scared!!!', it was a lovely day last summer and my dad wanted me to go down to the beach with him and my bro but i said 'no' coz of a back prob.
what band are ya gonna see?
jade
im going to see dave matthews
if i dont go then i feel like i am letting this fear controll my life, i cant let that happen anymore so im just gonna grit and bear it. besides, im 21 years old, my back is fine.
my girls would bite your hand off,to see DMB,but i can see your problem...your obviously not ready for such a long journey,so be honest with her,explain how you feel..use it as a test of your relationship..if she really cares about you,she will be understanding...but its not easy for people who dont suffer,to really understand how your suffering.
wish you well......bryan.
I'd bite your hands off too for DMB tickets!
I'm suffering from the same problem, (as everyone on the forum has heard me moan about it.)
I think you have to explain to your girlfriend what is going on.
If you feel unable to go, then you are unable to go and that is that.
Maybe it is time to start at the begining again and take little steps.
Go away from your house for as long as you are able, and keep doing it until you are able to go further away from home. I'm not saying it will happen over night, but in time you will be able to face making longer journeys.
Sometimes gritting your teeth and getting on with things is the best thing you can do.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric
Rennie1989
29-02-04, 08:54
im fine travling long journies (longest traveled 4000 miles, greece) its just if i go to a totally different place i hadnt been before like sleepin over somewhere iv never been.
dc- try leaving the house for 5 minutes then come home, then 7 minutes, then 10, then 15 etc. It may help, dout it
jade
nomorepanic
29-02-04, 19:25
Hi dcaroon
My biggest problem is driving and being away from home. I went away last year on a course and it was a 4 1/4 hour drive and I did feel a bit anxious being away from home for a week but I did it.
Can you not break it down into smaller steps and make a holiday of it. I.E. drive 2 1/2 hours and then stay over for the night in a hotel. Then do the rest the next day.
It will make it less stressful and make a bit of a holiday out of it.
Let us know what you decide.
Nicola
nomorepanic
29-02-04, 19:27
quote:Originally posted by jade
im fine travling long journies (longest traveled 4000 miles, greece) its just if i go to a totally different place i hadnt been before like sleepin over somewhere iv never been.
Jade - bless you but Greece is probably not that far away - 1000 miles maybe. Where did you go? I have been to Corfu and Rhodes.
Nicola
Rennie1989
29-02-04, 19:40
me too nic, ive beent to crete, rhodes, zante, corfu, santorini(day trip) and zakinthos (day trip also)
i thought it was 4000, i donno, felt like it in the plane, lol
jade
nomorepanic
29-02-04, 20:28
Wow Jade
You are a very lucky girl to get all those holidays :D
Nicola
Rennie1989
29-02-04, 20:34
ive been going there since i was 6 but we stopped going to greece a few years ago, so instead we go to majorca, better then greece ill admit
nicole,
I appreciate your suggestion. I have not planned a trip by myself bt i did stay in a hotel with my girlfriend for a weekend. the hotel was about 1 1/2 hours away that was a couple of weeks ago, I think that one day when i finally get some time i just might take your suggestion and vacate. My goal for now is to be able to travel and feel comfortable 5 hours away and that for rite now me might as well be on the moon! but hey i gotta try.
anyone!,
hey i was wondering if cognitive behavoral thearapy (cbt) would do me any good? ive read all about it on this sight?
I have taken a psycology course in college and i am familiar with some of its procedures,
has anyone here been through it? does it really help? can you discribe it in detail?
CBT is great, and is basically one of the main recognised ways to challenge and overcome your fears.
Most of us panickers are doing or have done it. It is a proven scientific method of overcoming problems.
Very simplitically, you will discuss the areas that bother you with your counsellor. You will then grade them in order of a bit frightening, quite frightening and totally s**t your pants.
You then have to get really brave and do it, starting with the easiest thing first. You keep repeating the easy thing, till it stops bothering you. You then move on to the next easiest, and repeat. You have to keep going back and experiencing the things you started with.
Basically, you are retraining your brain that going to the cinema/out for a meal etc isn't scary, and that it won't result in a panic/anxiety attack.
You will also learn breathing and other coping techniques. It is hard work, you have to push yourself and progress is slow. However, it has lasting, lifelong effects, and teaches you how to cope, so if at some point in the future, you have any recurring symptoms, you have the life skills to cope.
As Bryan would say - little steps, but thats really the key. Small bite sizes retraining until your brain learns to behave itself!!!!!
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
lottie ,
Thanx for the discription
today after work i drove for 2 hours just for the heck of it and i was fine the hole trip laste 4 hours.
I think i can beat this damn thing!
So, dcaroon, In a very short time you are already half way to your moon !!
I can see you will be getting there very soon
When is the concert ?
Well done for all your efforts.
Meg
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
nomorepanic
02-03-04, 20:21
well done you ! :D
I know how hard driving can be so good on you.
Can you now do the trip do you think?
Nicola
radar,
thanx, I am trying to reach the moon , maybe one day the stars!
P.s
to all those out thier who havent read the topic, Im not an astronaut im just a little bit scared compelety to death to go any wher.
any advice? anyone?
I had a bit of a bad experience driving last night. i was driving for about 25mins and there was only the baby and me in the car. it was very dark and raining and some of the roads were quiet roads with no lighting. I was very close to a panic but luckily I never panicked but was very anxious. I put the radi on full blast and somehow made it !!
I was nervous about going back home the same route but didn't want to go off course in case I got lost! - Anyway it wasn't so bad as I was able to use my full beam headlights alot of the way as the traffic was quiet.
I was shaky when i got home but glad it didn't tun into fully fledged panic.
As far as tips go I don't know - turning the radio up full and singing my wee heart out worked for me!!!
Lucky
Yes - but your poor deaf baby!
Dcaroon
You have my every sympathy. I'm desparately trying to pluck up the courage to travel the 60+ miles to Manchester to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the summer.
At the minute I'm failing miserably, and I don't want to go on my own, but can't think of anybody who I really want to go with (or who will be available - best friend just had small ankle biter - and I'm not spending all night in the creche)
Its only 1 1/2 - 2 hours away, watch the gig, then drive home. But I don't think I can do it!
How pathetic, you have further to travel
Let me know how you go on
Best of luck
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
what was that you were saying Charlie? - speak up woman!!!
nomorepanic
05-03-04, 20:11
Charlie
Alex loves RHCP so he will take you - lol
Nicola
charlie,
when you go driving off far away from home, What do you think about that causes axiety?
I am worried for some reason that i will panic and cant get help.
I dont understand it really.
When your out do you think about getting back home as soon as possible?
I know i sure do.
well best of luck, RHCP rocks!
nomorepanic
07-03-04, 18:46
dcaroon - I was more worried about the embarrassment of being alone and panicking and people seeing that. I was also scared of being so far away from home and no-one to help me.
I do want to get home asap and away from the situation.
Hope you can conquer your driving fears.
Nicola
Nicole ,
I was thinking about something.
When ever I leave to go on some kind of trip (rare occasion)I am almost constantly thinking about home. When am i going to get back?,how far away am I?,how long will it take to get from here to thier?.
It seems to me that home is sort of my safety zone and I dont know why because I hate it here. I use to love to travel;I still love to think about going to places. Then theres the fear factor.
So maybe if I was to displace the thought of home with the thought of some how being able to cope with panic were ever I am. Then I wont be so tempted to avoid the situation.
Who knows maybe ill help .
If anyones got some ideas dont hesitate to let me know
thanx everyone
nomorepanic
08-03-04, 20:21
Dcaroon
What I can do on certain trips out is transfer my safety zone between places - i.e. I make work a safety place so I can drive there and feel ok.
Sometimes I just drive away from home and want to get back, but I am learning to conquer that. I like to be near home so I can get back quickly if I need to.
You need to conquer the panic as you say and then the travelling won't be an issue.
It is hard work for my partner cos he wants to go abroad and there are a lot of problems in that for me - getting there on a plane, getting a coach from the airport to the resort and being away from home.
I am practising driving for now till it feels like second nature and it seems to be working - so I will see what I can do next.
Good luck to you.
Nicola
nicole,
transfering safety zones is a good idea, Ive been doing that for quite some time now but in a different way. you see I am ok with being an hour or an hour1/2 away from home.So if Ihaveto be 3 hours away I comfort myself by saying "Its ok your only an hour and a half awy from being an hour and a half away". I know it seems silly but it kinda works.
The problem is that its only a temporary solution. Im not conquering anything really , its just an allusion.
I guess that makes you wonder, Everytime you panic and thiers nothing to panic about, is that not an allusion?
I suppose it is. So is it a good idea to fight one allusion with another?
Its quite wierd
I don't mind the travelling i.e. I'm a confident driver and enjoy a "blast round", it's the "chilling out" when I get there. I'm always thinking about getting back home!
I also worry about "letting people down" - I prefer to travel on my own, then if I have to wimp out (which I never do) then I can just turn round and come home. I feel really under pressure if there are other people in the car with me. And as for letting somebody else drive.
Also, I worry that if I get wound up I will make myself ill (I get an upset tummy when I'm anxious) and I worry that a. I won't be able to find a loo, and b. it's just embarassing if you have to keep going to the loo,
None of these are real problems, but in my mind. None of them has ever happened - i.e. I have never been "caught short" on a journey, or embarassed myself, or turned round and gone home when others have been in the car.
But in my head, these are real and genuine things that are very likely to happen!
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Yeah, thats a good point ; I like traveling alone but not if I have to go really far.
I guess now that i think of it I have never had to turn around on any journey, Ive allways made it and somewhat enjoyed myself.
Its still scares the crap out of me though!
oh well you gottah deal with the hand youve been delt I guess.
Does anyone out thier have any worthwhile suggestions?
If so feel free to let me know.
nomorepanic
15-03-04, 16:36
Dcaroon
Do you want coping techniques for driving - take a look at http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/coping.htm and the bit under "Distraction".
Nicola
Thanx Nicole,
Well Im lookin for anyone with new Ideas
so you guys need to let us know!
Hi there Dcaroon
Have you been to see DMB yet? if so how did you get on?
love Sarah
xx
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