Can't seem to conquer my fear...advice?

[hugs]

Well I've suffered from everyday anxiety for almost two whole years now although I am currently feeling a lot better compared to how I've been in the past. I thought I'd post on here tonight to see if anyone can offer me any advice and I really hope I do get some replies otherwise I will probably end up feeling worse. I've just been out with friends and had a great time but still had to do the same old same old where on the outside I'm all smiles but on the inside my head feels like it's about to burst. I used to be afraid of health problems related to the brain and therefore always got head related symptoms and some other occasional bodily symptoms but the head mainly dominates but after having cbt I don't worry about that at all in fact I don't worry about my health much at all, I'm so used to feeling head pressure and aches and pains now that it doesn't make me batter an eyelid! What does bother me is the fact that I suffer from anxiety, yes I'm relieved that I know it's not a brain tumour etc but I'm still really upset that it's stress/anxiety that is making me feel so unpleasant. I just keep thinking it's the anxiety that is going to kill me not an anuerysm so I'm never comforted when someone says it's just anxiety. The main reason for my longterm suffering is because I want a large family and I'm currently trying for my second, my anxiety first started when I was 4 weeks pregnant with my son and I'm convinced that my constant daily battle with anxiety will stop me from conceiving or if I did conceive something will be territory wrong. So basically I'm anxious about being anxious and with all my friends talking about and having babies is making it worse. My main symptom is pressure in the head like it's about to explode and sometimes pressure on chest like there is a weight sitting on it and I can hardly get any air in. I often get terrible headaches too and my face a bit tight/numb. Although my son was born beautiful and healthy my anxiety started after he was conceived so for quite some time now I've been telling myself that my longterm suffering will have damaged my eggs (I read that on some random google page) and I will have a disabled child with loads of problems. I've actually convinced myself and imagining how I will cope etc. I'm not letting this fear stopping me from trying to have more children but I think about it literally all the time and it just fuels the anxiety. You could say well don't think about it but I've told myself that the damage has already been done and therefore cannot move on. My fertile period has just ended and me and my partner gave it a really good go but tonight my head was quite bad and I keep thinking if I am pregnant something will be going wrong coz of what I'm feeling and going through. Do you think that this is true. I just can't and I mean really really can't get over this fear, it dominates my whole mind. I love my son he is amazing and a family makes me so happy I just wish i could stop feeling so terrified that something could go wrong. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts on the matter?? I hope someone does reply coz I feel very alone with this fear, I know everyone hopes for healthy children, but I am obsessing non stop! Thank you for reading. XxxxxX

[hugs]

Anybody?

[andrew]

Hi Hugs,

I cant relate to this fear but thought I'd try to offer you some advice. You are obsessing, it is anxiety, you're not on your own. If you found cbt helpful before, then it would be sensible to get some more cbt to help you with this issue. Dont lose hope, you take care.

[jothenurse]

Your anxiety will not cause your eggs to go bad and make an unhealthy child. You're just very anxious about it and you need to use your CBT to help you through this.

[choices]

Well I've suffered from everyday anxiety for almost two whole years now although I am currently feeling a lot better compared to how I've been in the past. I thought I'd post on here tonight to see if anyone can offer me any advice and I really hope I do get some replies otherwise I will probably end up feeling worse. I've just been out with friends and had a great time but still had to do the same old same old where on the outside I'm all smiles but on the inside my head feels like it's about to burst. I used to be afraid of health problems related to the brain and therefore always got head related symptoms and some other occasional bodily symptoms but the head mainly dominates but after having cbt I don't worry about that at all in fact I don't worry about my health much at all, I'm so used to feeling head pressure and aches and pains now that it doesn't make me batter an eyelid! What does bother me is the fact that I suffer from anxiety, yes I'm relieved that I know it's not a brain tumour etc but I'm still really upset that it's stress/anxiety that is making me feel so unpleasant. I just keep thinking it's the anxiety that is going to kill me not an anuerysm so I'm never comforted when someone says it's just anxiety. The main reason for my longterm suffering is because I want a large family and I'm currently trying for my second, my anxiety first started when I was 4 weeks pregnant with my son and I'm convinced that my constant daily battle with anxiety will stop me from conceiving or if I did conceive something will be territory wrong. So basically I'm anxious about being anxious and with all my friends talking about and having babies is making it worse. My main symptom is pressure in the head like it's about to explode and sometimes pressure on chest like there is a weight sitting on it and I can hardly get any air in. I often get terrible headaches too and my face a bit tight/numb. Although my son was born beautiful and healthy my anxiety started after he was conceived so for quite some time now I've been telling myself that my longterm suffering will have damaged my eggs (I read that on some random google page) and I will have a disabled child with loads of problems. I've actually convinced myself and imagining how I will cope etc. I'm not letting this fear stopping me from trying to have more children but I think about it literally all the time and it just fuels the anxiety. You could say well don't think about it but I've told myself that the damage has already been done and therefore cannot move on. My fertile period has just ended and me and my partner gave it a really good go but tonight my head was quite bad and I keep thinking if I am pregnant something will be going wrong coz of what I'm feeling and going through. Do you think that this is true. I just can't and I mean really really can't get over this fear, it dominates my whole mind. I love my son he is amazing and a family makes me so happy I just wish i could stop feeling so terrified that something could go wrong. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts on the matter?? I hope someone does reply coz I feel very alone with this fear, I know everyone hopes for healthy children, but I am obsessing non stop! Thank you for reading. XxxxxX

Imagine in your head there are two balls, a red ball and blue ball. Each ball when picked up acts in a different way. The red ball can 'only' act negatively and the blue ball can 'only' act positively. It is 'impossible' for either ball to act in any other way, the same way that it impossible for you to hear music with your eyes.

Now imagine that before you do anything like move, speak, think,walk, breath anything that involves you taking some sort of action these two balls appear in your head.

Now before moving forward with your chosen action the brain requires you to pick one ball. There is no choice in this game nature has designed you to pick one or the other. But don't worry no one ball is harder to lift , each ball is lifted as simply as the other, 'with ease' , its simple 'you pick', 'you get'!!!

The problem with anxiety is that it makes you feel you are unable to have a choice in this game, which couldn't be more wrong. 'Understand' that your emotions, senses, brain and body were designed to work with and protect you ,they are your closest Allies. There is nothing on this planet that is more able to give you what you require to have a good natural life!!!

So once you choose which ball you want the brain instructs the body to act in the way you have chosen. The brain doesn't care which choice you make it doesn't hold grudges against you it does exactly what you tell it to do 100% of the time, it responds to your commands and yours only!!!

This is not a joke or just a guess, it is fact!!! For example i am unable to flick a pen across the room unless i choose to. The pen will go no where unless i pick it up and throw it!!!

You may think that you are not able to follow this information or use it but the fact is that you just have, maybe without even knowing. Every single thing you do, absolutely everything no matter how small from blinking , crying, smiling, dancing, reading, reading each single word, with each individual letter that you read, your brain makes a decision, a choice and then tells the body how to respond to that choice.

These choices can happen without us even knowing these choices are called instinct. A choice that you have previously made is stored as a memory the more memories you store the more instinctive the task becomes. Once a task you have seen before arises a choice of options appear in your brain some are negative some are positive each one holds the feelings and emotions that you felt the last time and all the other times that this task appeared.

So basically what i'm trying to say is that the way you feel is chosen by you, nothing else can make that choice, only you. Remember one ball [choice] is no harder to choose than the other like lifting your right or left arm they both respond on your command.

With anxiety these two balls [choices] appear in some cases every second of everyday so much so you find it hard to choose so often. This is because you are not really choosing!!! in fact you are stalling the choice process and if you don't choose quick enough the brain responds for you in 'one way' only to protect you.

If you pick a hot plate up while not paying attention your brain gives you a split second to choose if this is 'really' want you want to be holding if you don't 'respond' it will assume you would want to make the same choice as last time and drop the plate, yet it is clearly possible to hold a hot plate for as long as you choose, say some one offered a million pounds to you to hold it you would right?, and as long as with each time a choice appeared in your brain you chose 'yes' to keep holding the plate, it cannot be dropped!!!

So to overcome any anxiety or fear simple choose the 'blue positive ball' once the choice is made your body does the rest and responds once again to your command to give you exactly what you need to deal with your choice, big or small!! The most important thing is to CHOOSE, don't pretend to actually do it!!!

Its so important to remember that you may be confronted with these choices
many many times before you feel safe enough to not choose and allow your brain to simple do it for you!!! It needs to no for certain that without question this will always be the choice you want to make in order to protect you!!!
Once it nows this it wont ask you again!!

If you only choose 'positive' you 'cannot' feel 'negative' it is impossible the only way this can happen is when the choice appears again you choose the wrong one or don't choose!!! Its so simple pick and stick!

You cannot feel anxious unless you choose to trust me!!! Choose positively and you will be cured from the moment you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!