View Full Version : terrified of cancer
hi my problems started about 18 months ago when i started irrationally started checking for lumps in my testicles ,moles on my skin and blood in my stools.this progressively got worse and i was prescribed 5 different antideppressants including prozac.none of them worked.I saw a physcologist and this worked for a while until i was abandoned due to hospital budget.Things are so bad now i may go to the toilet 20 times a day to check for blood in my stool and my body is covered with plasters to cover imaginary moles HELP
constantworrier418
05-09-10, 18:09
hi - i totally understand how you are feeling, it's constant stream of health worries isn't it? you get the reasurrance for one concern and then you think you're over it and another one comes along just as quick. I'm battling too, trying to fight the worry that comes everyday and I've got to the stage where I cannot touch certain areas of my body (breasts, underarms etc) for fear that I may imagine i can feel a lump and it will send me into a frenzy of checking and worrying until I can get a dr's app for reassurance. I'm contemplating going back on venaflaxin as that really helped last year, but then what happens when I need to come off of it? just don't know what to do for the best.
I suppose I'm just trying to say I'm here if you need to chat - I hope we can both get through this as i spend most waking hours worrying about some form of cancer and its a shit existence.
x
Is there any particular aspect of cancer or just cancer itself that worries you?
I always was so scared myself due to cancer worries when I was a teenager due to the following: I had a breast reduction and of course some tissue was seriously dodgy so had to be tested thankfully the results came back ok, I didnt have it, but someone close to me has now got it bad, and because of him and my obsessions I've looked it all up, however, I'm the type of person that once I know whats what I can prepare myself for the worst and cope with it if it happens. I understand his treatment and everything and know what they will do to make him comfortable.
hi constantworrier and katyb know exactly how you both feel but we alL WANT ANSWERS.I was going to ac dc concert last year but could not look forward to it as i worried that i might find something i did not like and it would ruin the day.I cannot plan a holiday as it could all be ruined by one visit to the toilet.....crazy i know.No one knows how illogical all this is more than me.i think my problems might be guilt as i feel guilty about everything.I dont have answers yet but if i do iwill post online or if you want any help i will x
I can inderstand the constant trips to the toilet to check for blood, but as i am a womaan i was check for both areas! I was so scared to go sometimes just incase i found something that would send me spiralling.
I still have the anxiety but its in the background somewhere, all the thoughts cross my mind fleetingly, even when i go for a bath or get undress just incase i find something new!!!!!
It's almost as if i am scared of myself....constantly!
ellie_C_mason1990
05-09-10, 21:00
i am the same, it only seems to be cancer that i am scared of, no other diseases. i wear plasters for my moles, wear long sleeves, when it gets really bad and can't take baths anymore :(
have you tried keeping a worry diary? i find it helps especially with moles. if i notice anything that suddenly looks dodgy I write about it, then weeks later if I am still worrying, I can see how long ago the worry started and check the mole again. As always, I find that the mole hasnt changed for the worse so has just always been that way.
I hope that makes sense?
hi there, you're not alone, i too suffer from this hyperchondria and it's terrible, i've been to the doctors many times over the past few weeks, i found a very small lump on my testicles and basically cried over it for a good hour and a half and went to the doctor and he checked my testicles and said everything was fine and there is nothing wrong, i was so relieved!
but then another health worry comes doesn't it, any pain i get in my torso i automatically fear for the worst, i can't go out with my friends in fear of something severe happening like heart attack or fainting! basically this is ruining my life, i hope to get counselling for this soon so i can overcome this horrible feeling.
i know how you feel, if you ever want a chat i'm here for you! x
hi everybody in reply to ypour kind thoughts ican only understand completly about this taking over ones life.T o ellie c icannot keep a diary as i need instant reassuarances and time goes so slowly when its sheer bloody panic.to mr blue i thought i found alump on my testicles and spent all evening panicing till i went to a and e....inever touch my testicles now as its a battle you cannot win as you are never satisfied there is no lump even after 1 or 2 hours of feeling ones self.to indigo i would say your problems are similar to mine and that its not always about finding blood in ones stool[piles or soreness from constantly going to the toilet]but that it can ruin youre whole day if youre stool is not perfect.Crazy i know but i dread going to loo and finding anything.....i even avoid eating red food like tomatoes or peppers x
Me too. I once ate a lot of beetroot and then obviously had red poo, i pick it out of the toilet and rushed to the doctor and they could see nothing wrong, i must have looked like a complete and utter looney!!!!!
hi indigo i know its a constant battle.....like one of them fairground games where things pop up and you hit them with rubber hammer then it pops up somewhere else.....you sought one thing out in your head and then the doubts start up x
yeah it's awful, every time i go to have an itch down there it hits me that i could find a lump, every time! what i've done is set aside a day of the month like the 1st of every month to check for a lump, that way if one is found then it will most definately be cured, just remember that testicular cancer is one of the most cureable cancers. that little bit of info has kept me almost sane for a while. ever need a chat im here man!
thanks mr blue got to go to work now will post more later ..your info really helps
no problem :) cancer is very unlikely in anyone under 40, realistically it happens but it's uncommon because our blood cells are young, this is what the doctor told me and it helped me put my mind at rest
thanks mr blue but i am 54 .....24 is my birthday number....i know testicular cancer is uncommon over 50s and my family has no history of cancer so.....who knows?All i know is i used to be laid back but i get anxious about everything now.... reading some of the posts on here has here has helped and opened my eyes to how widespread this problem is KEEP POSTING EVERYBODY
happycamper
06-09-10, 20:32
And then you turn 40 as I did this year...!
ahh i see, i did not realise i'm sorry i thought you said you were 24! well basically you are doing the right thing by checking, you should not be scared to check your body for lumps and signs of cancer, it's better than doing nothing and then suddenly becoming termnally ill and then not being able to recover, the way you're doing it if you find a lump it can be dealt with and treated extremely quickly, maybe some counselling would do you some good for the anxiety side of things, it's what i'm going to try :)
Yeah i am going to try councelling just waiting for appontment.hope it wiorks as prozac not really working.have tried citalapram cipralex cymbalta and prozac....anybody suggest one that works?let me know how your councelling goes
yeah best not to rely on pills as a long term the doctor said as anxiety can't be killed off just like that unfortunately :( i will do mate, you too :)
Hi Pete
From what I've heard, testicular cancer is actually more common in younger people - but it's not actually that common in the wider scope of cancer itself. However, a lot of the others are age-related, and there isn't much we can do about this fact.
I suppose the thing is to try to restrict the checking - it's a form of OCD in itself, as the checking becomes a ritual which has to be satisfied. When I'm suffering particularly badly with anxiety, I try and restrict the amount of time that I worry about things - I'll set aside half an hour a day when I'm "allowed" to be anxious, then I have to do my best to put it aside and think about other things. Easier said than done sometimes though!
It's up to US to control our anxiety, rather than letting IT control us.
I have tried other ideas like no coffee...but not sure if it worked as not sure how long caffeine stays in your body....went to be hypnotised but after initial consultation[free]got cold feet at it was 70 pounds a session and needed at least 5.....tried fighting it but lasted 5 days.... waiting for councelling date but it all takes so long
constantworrier418
07-09-10, 10:39
I have no idea if this will help but I'll tell you how I "cope", at times the anxiety does overwhelm me but I'm determined to fight it.
- I avoid checking - as I know if I check once I will carry on checking a million more times and it doesn't make me feel any better, as I don't believe that I don't feel a lump etc.
- I keep a diary of moles and spots so that I note the size, colour etc and I got back to this every few weeks to monitor if they have been any changes.
- if I get the urge to check (because I think I may have missed a lump or the dr's didn't check my breasts properly etc) I distract myself, currently I make a point of doing something mundane like cleaning out my kitchen cupboards or sorting out clothes that can be thrown - anything which forces me to concentrate on something else. If all else fails I get in my car and go for a drive.
- for me weekends are the worst as I know I can't get to the dr's until monday at the earliest so I make sure my weekends are as busy as they can be, if i can't go out I ensure there is stuff I can be doing around the house, as long as it's doing something i find it keeps me focused.
- if I do have an anxiety attack (and I do daily I'm afraid) the first thing I do is say to myself is "this is the anxiety, not a health thing" i keep repeating this and try to relax through breathing, sometimes this helps and then I do something to distract.
although this is helping I'm still having frequent trips to the dr's but I just don't want to go back on anti depressants, like you I'm waiting for counselling but I've had it before and I'm convinced that the only thing that can help is me, I have to just get on with it as the anxiety will always be a part of my life I just have to control it
xx
I was convinced id get cervical cancer, so convinced that I forked out £360 for that hpv vaccine... :( im still convinced i'll die of some form of cancer.
I have been truly amazed that the majority of posts on here are from ladies and i sympathise with everyone re constantworrier.... ifeel the same about weekends ...but i dread going to the drs....does anybody else feel that worries are different each day and my worries are different to say 6 months ago....for me the goalposts keep moving
hi mr blue i know pills arent the answer....just wish i could find one that works......
would it not be fantastic to go to bed with a clear mind
pete i dream of that feeling, it's dreadful at night time for me also and waking up in the morning. i pray to God counselling helps, i can't wait to get started
when you do get a clear head at bedtime [rare]you do appreciate it
i never normally go to bed with a clear head unfortunately, i have to watch tv shows on my ipod untill i fall asleep watching them and yeah when you do you feel great :)
i am going to give it a real go and give up caffeine....i will have headaches but...
i gave up caffeine, i loved fizzy drinks and coffee so it was a bummer, but i switched to 7up and de-caf, it does help
when you say it helped do you mean you were calmer?or less jumpy or anxious.......i gave up caffeine before and got headaches[expected]but wondered if effect was instant ?
im still anxious but i NEVER get panic attacks anymore, just moments of worry
can you remember how long before you noticed it was having a positive effect?
beaniepudblue
08-09-10, 18:54
Hi there, sending huge hugs, i am going through exactly the same at the moment, im gonna post shortly. Just sending huge hugs you are not alone xx jen
althogh i have nothing to worry about [at the moment]i still feel low.....is this the start of general deppression?i usually only react to things...
fizzandfiddles
11-09-10, 08:07
I also have an uncomfortable pain in my abdoman so i quite scared as well!!!:weep:
I want to go to the doctors now and get a cancer test but I realy dont think theyl take me seriously based on a couple of dreams ive had (in wich I have stomach cancer and one where ive died of stomach cancer). and the fact in only 24:weep:
God this is the same as me i worry that i have Lung Cancer, ive had a weez on my chest and back now for just over a month, keep getting told its an infection even on antbotics it wont clear, ive lost 1 and a half stone in 1 year from 11 stone to 9 and a half and cant seem to put it back on, so come on is this Health Anxitey or what, why do i keep getting told it Anxitey, when i worry ive had Chest Xrays and all clear, but could it still be cancer, and if so where would the Cancer Be? im so worried now.....Ian
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