linworth
06-09-10, 17:02
Hi
Not posted on here for a while, as i have been trying to recover from an awful episode of high anxiety due to increase in meds. I will give a brief (if possible lol) account of my history.
I suffered a loss in late pregnancy about 11 years ago, which brought on depression and anxiety, i struggled through until i had my second baby and was then diagnosed with PND, it was awful, extrememly depressed thought i was going mad, i was treated with seroxat and although a lot better, still suffered with anxiety, then five years later had my little boy, again diagnosed with pnd and high anxiety, treated with sertraline 50mg and had counselling, so understood the condition more, eventually recovered and had 4 very happy years, small blips here and there but nothing major, anyway about 3 months ago, i had a panic attack out of the blue, not suffered for years, body shaking, dizziness, feelings of terror and dread, which in turn triggered my anxiety again, i went from happy, living a completely normal and happy life, to frozen with anxiety that my depression had come back, very tearful, couldnt sleep, knots in stomach, feelings of dread, loss of appietite, etc... tried counselling through work, as stress at work i think initially triggered this, plus trying to give up smoking and normal money worries (but hve been through much worse) after about a month i knew it wasnt lifting, had time off work, turned into a wreck, felt i couldnt do anything, docs increased my sertraline to 100mg, worse thing ever, literally thought i was losing my mind, severe panic attacks, couldnt bear myself, felt as though i didnt exist etc.. even ringing mental health ward to say i was losing my mind, went to emergency docs, who said it was the increase and to drop back down to my 50mg, it was that bad i had to be give lorizapam to calm me. Anyway dropped back down, felt like a shell of my normal self, completely despairing, couldnt understand how all this had happened, was very depressed the first couple of weeks of dropping back. Anyway eventually my appietite came back, i had lost a stone and half, sleep became easier, knots in stomach wearing off etc.. went on holiday for two weeks, felt the depression lifting, but the fear was still there, but managed to switch it off sometimes, think it was the fear of the panic attacks coming back, came back from hols, with flu, felt the weight of depression as soon as we drove onto the drive and very anxious, then went back to work the next week, which although had hot flashes of fear and low mood, did enjoy and felf relief that i was slowly getting back to normal. That was last week, over the weekend my anxiety appeared again, two mornings early wakening with that horrible dread and fear feeling, tears and low mood, but carrying on with normal day to day. I am due back in work again tomorrow, i have woken this morning without the dread, just anxious, but keep having feelings of what i think is depression washing over me and the fear of the mind chatter coming back , i just feel like everything is grey, somethings not right or scary. Does this make sense to anyone? can i work through this without having to change my meds (still on the original 50mg sertraline) will it just take time? i have been out today for childrens school uniform, not anxious, just low and uneasy, eaten my lunch, ironed, looked after kids etc... is what i am suffering depression? Just wondered if anybody had any advise or reassurance for me? thank for taking the time to read, sorry so long lol !
lynne x
Not posted on here for a while, as i have been trying to recover from an awful episode of high anxiety due to increase in meds. I will give a brief (if possible lol) account of my history.
I suffered a loss in late pregnancy about 11 years ago, which brought on depression and anxiety, i struggled through until i had my second baby and was then diagnosed with PND, it was awful, extrememly depressed thought i was going mad, i was treated with seroxat and although a lot better, still suffered with anxiety, then five years later had my little boy, again diagnosed with pnd and high anxiety, treated with sertraline 50mg and had counselling, so understood the condition more, eventually recovered and had 4 very happy years, small blips here and there but nothing major, anyway about 3 months ago, i had a panic attack out of the blue, not suffered for years, body shaking, dizziness, feelings of terror and dread, which in turn triggered my anxiety again, i went from happy, living a completely normal and happy life, to frozen with anxiety that my depression had come back, very tearful, couldnt sleep, knots in stomach, feelings of dread, loss of appietite, etc... tried counselling through work, as stress at work i think initially triggered this, plus trying to give up smoking and normal money worries (but hve been through much worse) after about a month i knew it wasnt lifting, had time off work, turned into a wreck, felt i couldnt do anything, docs increased my sertraline to 100mg, worse thing ever, literally thought i was losing my mind, severe panic attacks, couldnt bear myself, felt as though i didnt exist etc.. even ringing mental health ward to say i was losing my mind, went to emergency docs, who said it was the increase and to drop back down to my 50mg, it was that bad i had to be give lorizapam to calm me. Anyway dropped back down, felt like a shell of my normal self, completely despairing, couldnt understand how all this had happened, was very depressed the first couple of weeks of dropping back. Anyway eventually my appietite came back, i had lost a stone and half, sleep became easier, knots in stomach wearing off etc.. went on holiday for two weeks, felt the depression lifting, but the fear was still there, but managed to switch it off sometimes, think it was the fear of the panic attacks coming back, came back from hols, with flu, felt the weight of depression as soon as we drove onto the drive and very anxious, then went back to work the next week, which although had hot flashes of fear and low mood, did enjoy and felf relief that i was slowly getting back to normal. That was last week, over the weekend my anxiety appeared again, two mornings early wakening with that horrible dread and fear feeling, tears and low mood, but carrying on with normal day to day. I am due back in work again tomorrow, i have woken this morning without the dread, just anxious, but keep having feelings of what i think is depression washing over me and the fear of the mind chatter coming back , i just feel like everything is grey, somethings not right or scary. Does this make sense to anyone? can i work through this without having to change my meds (still on the original 50mg sertraline) will it just take time? i have been out today for childrens school uniform, not anxious, just low and uneasy, eaten my lunch, ironed, looked after kids etc... is what i am suffering depression? Just wondered if anybody had any advise or reassurance for me? thank for taking the time to read, sorry so long lol !
lynne x