What is wrong with me?

[simon19]

I'm 19 years old and I smoked cannabis for around 3 years, I quit about a year ago now as I was feeling affects I didn't think were normal.

Ever since I quit I have found it really difficult to walk, and I have really bad anxiety when I am face to face with someone or even worse in crowds. When I'm walking it feel like my back in arched, and I don't know what to do with my hands, it basically just feels like I'm stumbling everywhere, which builds when I feel people are watching me. I can't even walk to the shop it's ruining my life, the thought of getting a job and walking in front of people terrifies me.

As for being in crowds, I can't look at people as I start to feel like I'm making an angry face at people and the more I try to stop it the worse it gets, so instead of trying to look normal I must look like a right weirdo, pulling faces at people.

Is the walking thing a common thing with anxiety? I really hope it's not more serious, please can someone advice me.

[simon19]

I should of mentioned, I don't even think about it when i'm walking at home, or when I take my dog out at night. But I'm not sure if I am doing it and it's just me not thinking about it, or it is an anxiety issue!? =S

[Daat]

Sounds anxiety/OCD related. I'm a quirky bugger too.

[Anxious_gal]

did these symptoms just appear after smoking weed?
well they are all symptoms of anxiety but go to your doctor for blood tests and what not to rule out the other common things that can give you anxiety like symptoms.

I have seen tones of posts by people who used drugs and then stopped and now suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. so in that sense it also seems quite common.

[simon19]

i was fine while i was smoking it, but i fell out with a lot of my friends, I used to have a lot of people around my house, but my best friend moved away and I was just left alone (violins) lol, plus my mother is an escort which is why i started smoking it, to try and forget and well "rebel" that played on my mind a lot, i was always paranoid people knew me, through her. But it seemed to start when my friends left.

[unspoken]

Hi Simon. It sounds like you've had a tough time.

Don't be afraid to go to the doctor and admit that this happened since you stopped smoking weed. I guess weed could have disguised the symptoms of anxiety until you stopped, when it all hit you. Anxiety can manifest itself in a weird variety of ways. Your doctor isn't going to judge you or blame you in any way for doing drugs.

[choices]

I'm 19 years old and I smoked cannabis for around 3 years, I quit about a year ago now as I was feeling affects I didn't think were normal.

Ever since I quit I have found it really difficult to walk, and I have really bad anxiety when I am face to face with someone or even worse in crowds. When I'm walking it feel like my back in arched, and I don't know what to do with my hands, it basically just feels like I'm stumbling everywhere, which builds when I feel people are watching me. I can't even walk to the shop it's ruining my life, the thought of getting a job and walking in front of people terrifies me.

As for being in crowds, I can't look at people as I start to feel like I'm making an angry face at people and the more I try to stop it the worse it gets, so instead of trying to look normal I must look like a right weirdo, pulling faces at people.

Is the walking thing a common thing with anxiety? I really hope it's not more serious, please can someone advice me.

Imagine in your head there are two balls, a red ball and blue ball. Each ball when picked up acts in a different way. The red ball can 'only' act negatively and the blue ball can 'only' act positively. It is 'impossible' for either ball to act in any other way, the same way that it impossible for you to hear music with your eyes.

Now imagine that before you do anything like move, speak, think,walk, breath anything that involves you taking some sort of action these two balls appear in your head.

Now before moving forward with your chosen action the brain requires you to pick one ball. There is no choice in this game nature has designed you to pick one or the other. But don't worry no one ball is harder to lift , each ball is lifted as simply as the other, 'with ease' , its simple 'you pick', 'you get'!!!

The problem with anxiety is that it makes you feel you are unable to have a choice in this game, which couldn't be more wrong. 'Understand' that your emotions, senses, brain and body were designed to work with and protect you ,they are your closest Allies. There is nothing on this planet that is more able to give you what you require to have a good natural life!!!

So once you choose which ball you want the brain instructs the body to act in the way you have chosen. The brain doesn't care which choice you make it doesn't hold grudges against you it does exactly what you tell it to do 100% of the time, it responds to your commands and yours only!!!

This is not a joke or just a guess, it is fact!!! For example i am unable to flick a pen across the room unless i choose to. The pen will go no where unless i pick it up and throw it!!!

You may think that you are not able to follow this information or use it but the fact is that you just have, maybe without even knowing. Every single thing you do, absolutely everything no matter how small from blinking , crying, smiling, dancing, reading, reading each single word, with each individual letter that you read, your brain makes a decision, a choice and then tells the body how to respond to that choice.

These choices can happen without us even knowing these choices are called instinct. A choice that you have previously made is stored as a memory the more memories you store the more instinctive the task becomes. Once a task you have seen before arises a choice of options appear in your brain some are negative some are positive each one holds the feelings and emotions that you felt the last time and all the other times that this task appeared.

So basically what i'm trying to say is that the way you feel is chosen by you, nothing else can make that choice, only you. Remember one ball [choice] is no harder to choose than the other like lifting your right or left arm they both respond on your command.

With anxiety these two balls [choices] appear in some cases every second of everyday so much so you find it hard to choose so often. This is because you are not really choosing!!! in fact you are stalling the choice process and if you don't choose quick enough the brain responds for you in 'one way' only to protect you.

If you pick a hot plate up while not paying attention your brain gives you a split second to choose if this is 'really' want you want to be holding if you don't 'respond' it will assume you would want to make the same choice as last time and drop the plate, yet it is clearly possible to hold a hot plate for as long as you choose, say some one offered a million pounds to you to hold it you would right?, and as long as with each time a choice appeared in your brain you chose 'yes' to keep holding the plate, it cannot be dropped!!!

So to overcome any anxiety or fear simple choose the 'blue positive ball' once the choice is made your body does the rest and responds once again to your command to give you exactly what you need to deal with your choice, big or small!! The most important thing is to CHOOSE, don't pretend to actually do it!!!

Its so important to remember that you may be confronted with these choices
many many times before you feel safe enough to not choose and allow your brain to simple do it for you!!! It needs to no for certain that without question this will always be the choice you want to make in order to protect you!!!
Once it nows this it wont ask you again!!

If you only choose 'positive' you 'cannot' feel 'negative' it is impossible the only way this can happen is when the choice appears again you choose the wrong one or don't choose!!! Its so simple pick and stick!

In your case you can not fear walking unless you choose to!!! your brain may keep asking you with each step , 'are you sure', thats because it needs to make 'sure' you are safe. If you find your self freezing or twiching you are not choosing, your brain is confused wether to act on previous memories or on a new one. you are letting your brain choose for you, choose and you unlock the freeze. if you keep choosing positive your brain will keep providing you with positive motion just try it believe me i suffered from this my self , as long as you choose quick and positively it will work. why would this not work? how can you do anything without choosing to do it think about that!

You cannot feel anxious unless you choose to!!! Choose positively and you will be cured from the moment you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you need to realize that the choice is so simple to make, so make it!

[choices]

Imagine in your head there are two balls, a red ball and blue ball. Each ball when picked up acts in a different way. The red ball can 'only' act negatively and the blue ball can 'only' act positively. It is 'impossible' for either ball to act in any other way, the same way that it impossible for you to hear music with your eyes.

Now imagine that before you do anything like move, speak, think,walk, breath anything that involves you taking some sort of action these two balls appear in your head.

Now before moving forward with your chosen action the brain requires you to pick one ball. There is no choice in this game nature has designed you to pick one or the other. But don't worry no one ball is harder to lift , each ball is lifted as simply as the other, 'with ease' , its simple 'you pick', 'you get'!!!

The problem with anxiety is that it makes you feel you are unable to have a choice in this game, which couldn't be more wrong. 'Understand' that your emotions, senses, brain and body were designed to work with and protect you ,they are your closest Allies. There is nothing on this planet that is more able to give you what you require to have a good natural life!!!

So once you choose which ball you want the brain instructs the body to act in the way you have chosen. The brain doesn't care which choice you make it doesn't hold grudges against you it does exactly what you tell it to do 100% of the time, it responds to your commands and yours only!!!

This is not a joke or just a guess, it is fact!!! For example i am unable to flick a pen across the room unless i choose to. The pen will go no where unless i pick it up and throw it!!!

You may think that you are not able to follow this information or use it but the fact is that you just have, maybe without even knowing. Every single thing you do, absolutely everything no matter how small from blinking , crying, smiling, dancing, reading, reading each single word, with each individual letter that you read, your brain makes a decision, a choice and then tells the body how to respond to that choice.

These choices can happen without us even knowing these choices are called instinct. A choice that you have previously made is stored as a memory the more memories you store the more instinctive the task becomes. Once a task you have seen before arises a choice of options appear in your brain some are negative some are positive each one holds the feelings and emotions that you felt the last time and all the other times that this task appeared.

So basically what i'm trying to say is that the way you feel is chosen by you, nothing else can make that choice, only you. Remember one ball [choice] is no harder to choose than the other like lifting your right or left arm they both respond on your command.

With anxiety these two balls [choices] appear in some cases every second of everyday so much so you find it hard to choose so often. This is because you are not really choosing!!! in fact you are stalling the choice process and if you don't choose quick enough the brain responds for you in 'one way' only to protect you.

If you pick a hot plate up while not paying attention your brain gives you a split second to choose if this is 'really' want you want to be holding if you don't 'respond' it will assume you would want to make the same choice as last time and drop the plate, yet it is clearly possible to hold a hot plate for as long as you choose, say some one offered a million pounds to you to hold it you would right?, and as long as with each time a choice appeared in your brain you chose 'yes' to keep holding the plate, it cannot be dropped!!!

So to overcome any anxiety or fear simple choose the 'blue positive ball' once the choice is made your body does the rest and responds once again to your command to give you exactly what you need to deal with your choice, big or small!! The most important thing is to CHOOSE, don't pretend to actually do it!!!

Its so important to remember that you may be confronted with these choices
many many times before you feel safe enough to not choose and allow your brain to simple do it for you!!! It needs to no for certain that without question this will always be the choice you want to make in order to protect you!!!
Once it nows this it wont ask you again!!

If you only choose 'positive' you 'cannot' feel 'negative' it is impossible the only way this can happen is when the choice appears again you choose the wrong one or don't choose!!! Its so simple pick and stick!

You cannot feel anxious unless you choose to trust me!!! Choose positively and you will be cured from the moment you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[simon19]

thanks i really appreciate it. I will give that a try tomorrow, I know what you mean. Some days I am fine because I'm not thinking about it so much, but it just worried me that I may still be walking weird and just not thinking about it. When I walk pass someone and they look at me, i seem to trip up and my legs go weird, or if I walk passed houses where i think people can see me. I just hate it, you take walking for granted, something you do without thinking about it.

[choices]

Mate you need to believe me when i say this you dont have to force your self to be positive, you simple choose! As simple as it is to panic, it is as simple not too, think about it why would your brain work against you ? you own it, you control it and it responds to every command you give it, you can choose negative all day long for years but as soon as you choose positive it will instantly switch! Dont build your self up dont think i will try this! just choose and your body does the rest!

[WhyNick]

There's some good advice on this thread. There is only one thing I will add which was told to me at a sales training day, years ago and it applies so well to our situation.

"The definition of madness is to do the same thing today as you did yesterday and expect the result to be different. "

Read the advice and decide what you are going to change, then stick with it. Good Luck