when will it end

[jay]

No one seems to be helping me with my bullying problem. its like im the only person being bullied in the whole world. and im the problem not the bully!
I hate this feeling of hopelessness. feeling panicky. and everything else.
any ideas people?
please...
jay
[V]

[kate]

Jay,

Can you give us some more information about what exactly is going on?

Give us as many details as you can, and I'm sure that we will be able to give you some advice.

Kate x

[nomorepanic]

Jay

Those that don't go in the chat room won't know the full story so perhaps if you typed it here then it would help you understand it more and we could offer some advice. Other people may have some good advice for you too.

Nicola

[Rennie1989]

my dad said ages ago 'put a mini tape recorder in ya sleeves or pocket etc and record what ya boss says to ya, give it to the police to listen then your boss will have some explainin to do'

try it, or report him!!!!!!!!!!!

jade

[jay]

here is my sad little life story!
i started to feel uneasy in june last year. i spoke to my manager about it, and she helped me by just listening offering advice, and helping. i then took her advice eventually after a lot of convincing that i had a problem. i found this website and ur all good to me, even when i am a complete bitch. im on medication at the mo. having counselling and had to take a week off work.
the reason. im being bullied by a boss. im ashamed of this. i cant speak to him about it. it gives me panic attacks. and has ruined everything that was good in my life.
im scared to go to work, to face hime, to be in the same room, even thinking about him, his car, or if hes going to bully me again
ive lost.
jay

[kate]

Hiya Jay,

Thanks for giving us some insight into your problems.

What form does the bullying by your boss take? Does he shout at you, or put you down? How exactly does he act in a bullying way?

Give us a little bit more info, Jay, and we should then be in a position to give you some advice.

Kate x

[Rennie1989]

i think he shouts at her, she told me in the chat room

how was the last post i wrote

jade

[jay]

he shouts at me.. and dont give me chance to have my say. and its unfair

[Rennie1989]

if i was you jay, i would slap him in the face

[benoo5]

i think jade,and her dad,has the best idea...rent,buy,or borrow,a tiny dictaphone,and record the abuse..that way,you have evidence to take to his boss,i take it that your not in a trade union!.......bryan.

[Buby]

jay,

have u tried gettin a nuva job, cos i think that mite help, but its up to u. and i wud def take jades advice and smack him o hard it knocks him out he deserves. hes bullying u cos he knows it will hurt so fite back girl, u no u can!!!!!! let him no wot hes doin and give him summit to think bout like threaten to live ure job, or su or summit, summit gd that hell have to do summit bk to stop u from doin summit. We are all here for u and will help u.

take care jay, hugs Rachel xxx

[sarah]

hey u lot

no advice about slapping or punching please - it can get u in all sorts of trouble :o

Jay - take the advice and get a little dictaphone, record conversations etc and write yourself a little journal of what happened each day so you have something to show another boss.

love Sarah
xx

[Meg]

Please be aware that recording conversations without all parties being aware of it is an offense and could go against you if you ever tried to use it. The contents and data would not be able to be used in a tribunal.

Keeping accurate and dated documentation is the best way forward and taking that to HR -personnel when you feel the time is right.



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Rennie1989]

didnt know what meg, woops :o

[jay]

thanks for all the advice.
just wish u could all come and back me up
im still scared about going into work tommmorrw
thanks again
jay

[mico]

Hi Jay

Have you talked to anyone at work about this? Like everyone has said, if you talk to someone else who is in authority then you might find that they are very sympathetic towards your situation. In this day and age most businesses are very strict about this sort of behaviour and will not tolerate their staff being treated like you are.

Have you tried talking to your colleagues at work too? Do they suffer from similar problems? We might not be-able to come with you and back you up, but maybe your work mates will.

good luck

mico

[jay]

no one at work seems to care
i have told his boss. but he says that he is stong and im weak

[Rennie1989]

i know how ya feel hay, when im at school i feel as though no one cares how i feel, most of the students laugh at me, how bad is that,

tell the police about your boss, they can interview both of you so ya can get him fired, that will be a time to celebrate, lol

jade

[Samantha]

Hi Jay sorry to hear things havent improved

Can you call the Citizens Advice bureau, whatever action you take you must be sure that it cant land you in trouble, meg's right are you documenting the events as they happen thats one of the best things to do. What ever you decide to do you must be sure that the outcome will help you not put you into trouble!

Good luck

Sam

Positive thinking is the key to success!

[nomorepanic]

Jay

I would take notes about what he says so it is all in writing then you can confront him with it.

What sort of things does he say?

Nicola

[kate]

Good idea, Nic.

I agree, Jay, that would be your best course of action first of all.

Kate x

[jay]

he shouts at me, even when i try and explain things. like i had a tea break. and he told me in no uncertain terms to get back to work. well thats unreasonable? is it not?
ive also been told that thats just his way. he shouts at everyone.
well surely this isnt right?
also because he is strong willed and im weak. they think its just me over sensitive...
What elso do i do, no one is actually listening to me
the nice boss is still off sick
dont that say something else to them about his atitiude?
jay

[nomorepanic]

Jay

I had two bullies as bosses. One told me I was useless and I knew I wasn't and the other one couldn't understand the panic etc so I left that job in the end.

They both got their come-uppance. The first one died in his early 40's and the second one got made redunant from the company I left. Justice I say!! Sorry, not that I wish death on anyone but they say "what goes around comes around" or is that vice versa - lol.

If you are cruel to people then it will come back to haunt you!

It seems to me that you need an ally at work and if your nice boss is off then you need someone else to talk to. You obviously are stressed at work and he is not helping but you have a few choices. Face him (which I doubt you are able to do at the moment), tell someone higher up than him or leave the job.

I know that you don't want to leave the job so he needs confronting. what about emailing him or putting something in writing - just a thought

Chin up Jay we can beat him ok?

Nicola

[jay]

thanks nicola. and to everyone else for ur support and kind words.
it means so much
jay

[Rennie1989]

good idea nic

i did that to my m8 when we split up, i used to email herto get questions answers. try it jay

jade