I cannot do it

[sharon35]

I feel so sick at the thought of going back to work on monday its making me so ill i cannot stop crying i feel so alone but im not ive got a gorgeous fianee and people on here to talk to.
I just feel like phoning up and saying i cannot go back, ive been off 5 weeks now this is my 6th and due to go back monday, but i feel i cannot even go in for an hour or so now which i thought i could do last week.
Ive spent the last 5 weeks worrying about going back rather than relaxing.
What should i do please help me im in peices???????????

[calm]

my darling...we are with you.....you need to be signed off for maybe longer....or maybe see if you can just go in for couple of hours a day...how does that sound xxxx

lots of love tracey xxxxx

[Jaco45er]

Try asking about reduced hours (like calm says).

But I wouldn't as to be signed off longer, this is not what you want to hear, but the longer you stay away from work, the harder it will be to get back into it.

See if you can have a word with your manager and explain that you are coming back on Monday, but still unwell, and you would like some reassurance that if you really are not ready, you can come home wit ha view of going back the next week.

What you are having at the moment (here we go, Dr Jaco ;)) is anticipation anxiety. Already you are doing "what if's?" (I wager you are worried about breaking down at work, at a guess), but a lot of the time we worry about a future event, like going back to work, or going on a plane, and when the event arrives, it's not as bad as we anticipated it would be.

If you could get some reassurance that it's ok to leave on Monday if you must, hopefully that will life a bit of pressure on you.

Hope you feel well soon.

Jaco

[sharon35]

Yes thats it Jaco i so worried about having a panic attack and breaking down. my head goes in to over load and i cannot think of anything except i cannot go i cannot do it i cannot cope i need help to get over this im on meds for it but i still cannot stop my mind from racing. i think my boss is calling in abit for a chat im going to tell her how im feeling.

Thank you for replying to my thread. xxx

[Baggie]

Hi Sharon

It sounds like your confidence is a bit low and maybe that's why the thought of returning to work is so overwhelming? Is your boss someone who you find approachable and easy to talk to? If so,then it might be a good idea to tell her how you're feeling.

The trouble with panic attacks is that they chip away at your confidence - one step forward and two steps back and it's hard work trying to overcome this. Have you thought about printing out some info from this site to have at hand if your boss does come to see you, just to help explain things? I know that it's difficult for others to grasp how we feel - I certainly had no idea what a panic attack felt like until I had my first one, although I'd heard of them.

Good luck with everything and take care. xx :)

[sharon35]

Hi Baggie,
MY boss knows about my panic attacks ive had them at work thats why i was signed off. She's very understanding, well she was last time i spoke to her.
Ive had the on and off for years and left jobs in the past because of it. I just feel at rock bottem at the moment and cannot see a way out, i starting to get depressed about it all now.

[Baggie]

Hi again Sharon

I really do understand how low you can get because of panic and how it can make you feel depressed, stuck almost. I've been there too - last week was really difficult for me with hormones etc... However, yesterday was okay and today is an improvement (fingers crossed) so I'm just taking it a day at a time. My coping mechanism when I'm feeling rubbish is to try and distract myself as much as possible. I bake a lot. Not good for the figure, but the family don't complain ha ha. Last week I did a clear out which was badly needing done and rearranged some furniture (feng shui - don't know if thats the right spelling lol). Whether there's any truth in this, I don't know but it did make me feel a good bit better! I also keep a journal and write in it when I feel the need to. It helps me get things out.

Just tell yourself that you are having a 'wobbly' day but it will pass. I do this even when I'm at my worst (sometimes even if my brain doesn't seem to believe it).I just do it in the hope that it will eventually sink in! I also googled 'positive thinking' the other day after someone on the forum had suggested it and it was interesting to read some of the stuff on there.

Take care. The clouds WILL lift and the sun WILL come out for you. xx

[blueangel]

Hi there

I agree with Jaco entirely - the longer you leave it, the worse it will get. I am a trade union official where I work and have to support quite a few people who are off sick long-term. It gets very difficult to get people back into work when they have been off sick for a long time, even if they have been off with a physical illness rather than a mental one.

Doing some sort of phased return to work might be a good idea, if your manager will let you do this, such as working half days for all of next week and then building up from this over a couple of weeks.

[Nigel]

Hi Sharon,

Somebody seems to be doing an awful lot of ‘fortune telling’ about next week, when really they do not know :winks:

So we need to get back a bit of that – “Thank you Nigel yeah that deffo sounds better! deffo more positive.” – attitude we had yesterday, don’t you think?

The reassuring bottom line is you don’t have to go on Monday, although as Jaco said, it would be better to try. Also, I suspect even you yourself might be slightly regretting not at least trying afterwards.

“i so worried about having a panic attack and breaking down.”

I know that’s really unpleasant and something no one likes to experience, but in reality no huge disaster will happen and you’ll be ok. Do other people at work know other than your boss? It would be good if a few understanding people did because it would be a bit like having the support of people on here, only for real at work. And is it the sort of place where you could work close to an exit and be able to slip discreetly out if needs be?

So do we have positive Sharon back yet :)

Take care,
Nigel

[sharon35]

Thank you Blueangel i'll try and do a hour or so each day. this feels like the hardest thing ive ever done in my life feel so drained with it all.