Setback

[drewzilla]

Hi there,

I am a long time health anxiety sufferer and currently going through what is either a serious disease, or my worst anxiety setback since I was first diagnosed 10 years ago.

I came off medication (Cipramil) 5 years ago and have coped well enough, something I put down to CBT.

However, a series of events towards the end of 2009 (a friend nearly passing away due to a brain hemorrhage, a double bout of Norovirus) seemed to trigger a downward spiral. Since then I have had the stress of moving home and have become increasingly stressed at work. I am happy to recognise that my anxiety levels have continued to rise and that I've entered a viscious cycle of fear - anxiety brings on physical symptoms that I then put down to a serious disease. But, I just can't shake the feeling that there is some serious disease brewing. The past two weeks things have been getting worse and worse. My main symptoms have been:



Fatigue (comes in waves and can be quite intense)
'Weak', stiff and painful arms and legs
Twitching muscles
Lightheadedness
Shortness of breath (yawning)
Nighttime panic attacks (and just general sleep issues)
Feeling rough when I wake in the morning
Racing mind
Constant worry about serious disease (MS/ALS/MND, Cancer)


I could go on with symptoms but that's enough to paint a good picture.

The things I'm really worried about are the muscle stiffness and the fatigue. I've especially noticed my muscles becoming more and more tight in the last few weeks. I freaked out tonight because I rode a bike and my legs felt like they almost seized up when I finished - it wasn't strenuous riding either. My wrist then felt really tight after playing the piano. Does anyone else notice this? Could it be that constant adrenaline is effectively damaging my muscles so that, when I exercise them, they are already in bad shape?

I saw my GP recently and he did blood tests that all came back clear. I had similarly clear blood tests in January after the Norovirus onslaught. My GP is sure that this is just a setback of my anxiety disorder.

I really can't see a way out right now. I feel resigned that maybe it is not anxiety this time and that a serious disease has finally struck me down. I don't see an end to this exhaustion and find it hard to believe that I can feel so rough without there being some serious physical cause. Getting to work is becoming more and more of a struggle and I don't know how much longer I can drag myself along trying to live a normal life. Everyday is just a fight against fatigue.

Any reassurances about the muscle stiffness and fatigue would be much appreciated. I thought exercise was meant to be good for anxiety and relieving muscle stiffness!

Andrew

[Nanerpus]

Hi Andrew,

Personally I have found that I feel very tired and fatigued and can find every reason for it EXCEPT for the fact that my body is so stressed out subconsciously and when I am trying to sleep. Sounds like this could be your problem. If you are exercising you are, in a way, stressing your body. This is good stress and releases endorphins, etc. HOWEVER, when you are not exercising your body should be recovering from this. Sounds like your body is in a constant state of stress one way or another. I would seriously chaulk it up to anxiety and stress.

By the way...I went to a Bootcamp class with my husband a few weeks ago and was sore for a good week. My muscles barely worked! Give the exercise time. The soreness is normal - your muscles are breaking down in order to build up newer, stronger ones. (I know it's more technical than that).

[fairyclairy]

Hi Andrew,

You've described my exact symptoms... my muscles in my body are sooo tense all the time! They feel so stiff and like i cant relax them... i try and go on a walk round the block (which is only 10 minutes) and as im walking, my legs feel as though they are seizing up and that they wont bend.... and then i begin to worry about this and they get worse! By the time i get home after the walk, my legs are so so painful.. but it is just anxiety!

My arms and legs constantly feel tight, sore, achy, weak but this is just anxiety... we subconciously tense our muscles whilst suffering from anxiety because for us, it feels the norm - but actually, they are highly tense and stressed out.

If im driving, i sometimes find myself taking my hand off the steering wheel whilst stopped at the lights and my hand is crippled and soo sore to straighten out... and what i dont realise is, im tensing my hand around the wheel so much whilst driving that it stiffens up... and again, i dont know im doing this untill i come to take my hand off the wheel!
Same with my jaw.... i tense that up without realising during the day and i suffer from aches and pains around the jawline and cant actually click my jaw from side to side because of the stress iv put it under!

At the moment i am suffering from the fatigue part... i struggle to get to sleep at night, and then struggle to get out of it in the morning - my whole body feels weak and i always feel i could just fall asleep at my desk at work, its horrible! One of the worst symptoms because everything else feels such a struggle when you're tired and its much harder to fight the anxiety/panic during the day if you're absolutly shattered.

I too am finding it difficult in work - i sympathis with you alot but from what you have described, it all sounds like anxiety.
Anxiety does so so much to our bodies - more than we'd think!

I hope iv reassured u alittle,x

[fairyclairy]

Typing error.... 'CAN' actually click my jaw from side to side because of the stress iv put it under

[drewzilla]

Thanks for your replies fairyclairy and Nanerpus.

It does feel better to know other people go through the same thing - it just takes the edge off the worry a little.

It seems so common for symptoms to get much worse the more effort made to concentrate on them.

Fortunately, I've got two weeks holiday from work starting from Monday. I'm really going to concentrate on unwinding and getting some rest.

Thanks again.

Andrew