Electric Blue
08-09-10, 03:05
Hi all,
Hoping someone may be able to give me some advice.
I’ve been under a lot of depression and panic for the last 4 weeks.
I explained in the OCD forum how my anxiety has returned due to events in my past.
Since March this year I have convinced myself I’ve had
- Throat Cancer
- Brain Tumour
- HIV and/ or HEP C
All these came back negative.
The HIV and HEP C fear suddenly struck me when I was thinking about a past event as a child.
I use to catch tadpoles down at a local creek; we went into the water with bare feet.
One of the boys I was hanging out with told me that he had found these syringes in the water and I was starting to think “What if I had stepped on one?”
Anyways, my latest anxiety it similar to that, again another event in my past.
My parent’s have an old house built back in 1958. It has an asbestos cement sheeting roof which is still there today.
My father taught us the roof is okay so long as you do not do anything stupid like, break, sand, drill, saw or scrub the sheets.
My brother and I went up onto the roof on rare occasions to retrieve footballs/ tennis balls . Nothing ever happened though so that was all good.
When I was 17 years old I was thinking about how I rarely went onto the roof and thought “I probably shouldn’t go up there again.” And made a vow to myself never to return up there. I had suddenly grown a fear of the roof I once never cared slightly about.
A few weeks later our hot water system broke down, and my father managed to obtain the same model hot water system to replace it with…only cost him $100.
So he had to remove the old hot water system which is on the wall in the toilet (I know odd place for a hot water system)
He was in the process of installing the hot water system. I was playing Nintendo or whateva I did back when I was 17 and my Dad came into my bedroom and asked me to climb onto the roof to help him install this flue.
I told him I didn’t want to do it, but my dad got angry…basically he’s one of those parents who believe his kids should just do what they’re told. And because of his temper I felt I didn’t have a choice. I did however thought that maybe going up there may help me get over this sudden fear I grew about the roof.
So I climbed up the roof and was walking over to the hole where the flue was being installed. I was probably about a metre away from the hole and my dad pushed up this flue and “woosh!” this cloud of dust shoots up from the hole in the roof.
And well…I freaked out…I froze, turned my head away and took a breath and held it for as long as I could (probably about 30 seconds)
While all this is happening my dad is yelling at me for not helping him. If he hadn’t been yelling at me I probably would’ve jumped off the roof I was that terrified.
I was only up there for about 3 – 5 mins max.
I ended up going to see my doctor and balling my eyes out telling her what happened. She assured me I had nothing to worry about and that it’s people who worked with asbestos who got sick from it.
Well I got over it…until recently it’s come back to haunt me.
Since that event I’ve had 3 chest x-rays (all normal) and 2 lung function tests (also normal)
I am also sure that the dust that shot up from the hole where the flue sits was just normal household dust as the house was 45 years old at this point, my parent’s backyard also doesn’t have much of a lawn…and the dust gets inside pretty dusty easily…especially when it’s a windy day.
I know my odds of ever getting any illness from asbestos are next to none…but for the past 4 weeks I’ve just had massive panic attacks and gone over the “What ifs?” when fact of the matter is you don’t ever know what you’re truly exposed to throughout your life.
I’ve been having sharp pains in my chest area (around the heart) and I’ve also had dull upper back aches and chest pains.
When I take a deep breath sometimes I feel some pain in my back as well.
I usually don’t experience any pain when I’m not so anxious…so I was wondering if because I’ve been in panic mode for weeks now if all these aches and pains are just panic related?
I’m also no longer enjoying my life. When I wake up in the morning all the thoughts play over my head again and again and again. I also don’t really feel like getting out of bed…it’s pretty damn awful.
If anyone else has felt like this before and could give me some friendly advice that would be much appreciated.
Also has anyone else thought about past events and started to panic about them years down the track?
Feedback is much appreciated.
Thanks All,
Electric Blue
Hoping someone may be able to give me some advice.
I’ve been under a lot of depression and panic for the last 4 weeks.
I explained in the OCD forum how my anxiety has returned due to events in my past.
Since March this year I have convinced myself I’ve had
- Throat Cancer
- Brain Tumour
- HIV and/ or HEP C
All these came back negative.
The HIV and HEP C fear suddenly struck me when I was thinking about a past event as a child.
I use to catch tadpoles down at a local creek; we went into the water with bare feet.
One of the boys I was hanging out with told me that he had found these syringes in the water and I was starting to think “What if I had stepped on one?”
Anyways, my latest anxiety it similar to that, again another event in my past.
My parent’s have an old house built back in 1958. It has an asbestos cement sheeting roof which is still there today.
My father taught us the roof is okay so long as you do not do anything stupid like, break, sand, drill, saw or scrub the sheets.
My brother and I went up onto the roof on rare occasions to retrieve footballs/ tennis balls . Nothing ever happened though so that was all good.
When I was 17 years old I was thinking about how I rarely went onto the roof and thought “I probably shouldn’t go up there again.” And made a vow to myself never to return up there. I had suddenly grown a fear of the roof I once never cared slightly about.
A few weeks later our hot water system broke down, and my father managed to obtain the same model hot water system to replace it with…only cost him $100.
So he had to remove the old hot water system which is on the wall in the toilet (I know odd place for a hot water system)
He was in the process of installing the hot water system. I was playing Nintendo or whateva I did back when I was 17 and my Dad came into my bedroom and asked me to climb onto the roof to help him install this flue.
I told him I didn’t want to do it, but my dad got angry…basically he’s one of those parents who believe his kids should just do what they’re told. And because of his temper I felt I didn’t have a choice. I did however thought that maybe going up there may help me get over this sudden fear I grew about the roof.
So I climbed up the roof and was walking over to the hole where the flue was being installed. I was probably about a metre away from the hole and my dad pushed up this flue and “woosh!” this cloud of dust shoots up from the hole in the roof.
And well…I freaked out…I froze, turned my head away and took a breath and held it for as long as I could (probably about 30 seconds)
While all this is happening my dad is yelling at me for not helping him. If he hadn’t been yelling at me I probably would’ve jumped off the roof I was that terrified.
I was only up there for about 3 – 5 mins max.
I ended up going to see my doctor and balling my eyes out telling her what happened. She assured me I had nothing to worry about and that it’s people who worked with asbestos who got sick from it.
Well I got over it…until recently it’s come back to haunt me.
Since that event I’ve had 3 chest x-rays (all normal) and 2 lung function tests (also normal)
I am also sure that the dust that shot up from the hole where the flue sits was just normal household dust as the house was 45 years old at this point, my parent’s backyard also doesn’t have much of a lawn…and the dust gets inside pretty dusty easily…especially when it’s a windy day.
I know my odds of ever getting any illness from asbestos are next to none…but for the past 4 weeks I’ve just had massive panic attacks and gone over the “What ifs?” when fact of the matter is you don’t ever know what you’re truly exposed to throughout your life.
I’ve been having sharp pains in my chest area (around the heart) and I’ve also had dull upper back aches and chest pains.
When I take a deep breath sometimes I feel some pain in my back as well.
I usually don’t experience any pain when I’m not so anxious…so I was wondering if because I’ve been in panic mode for weeks now if all these aches and pains are just panic related?
I’m also no longer enjoying my life. When I wake up in the morning all the thoughts play over my head again and again and again. I also don’t really feel like getting out of bed…it’s pretty damn awful.
If anyone else has felt like this before and could give me some friendly advice that would be much appreciated.
Also has anyone else thought about past events and started to panic about them years down the track?
Feedback is much appreciated.
Thanks All,
Electric Blue