avinitinatt
08-09-10, 14:10
I have had varying types of anxiety since my childhood, for no apparent reason (I had a good stable upbringing, no traumas, everything very normal), I am 29 now, and it has been suggested by my GP that I have an 'anxious personality'. I have managed this problem in various ways over the years, some good, some bad, I have suffered from eating disorders and self harmed to cope with my emotions, before having CBT a few years ago, which I found really helpful. I was prescribed Sertraline 150mg following a total breakdown last summer (2009), I returned to work last September following my illness, and gradualy stopped taking my medication (I have a long history of not being able to keep up with taking meds and stopping them; even though I know this is wrong). This summer I noticed my mood dropping again, my anxiety worsening, I think I've been late for work everyday for the last 2 months, because the mornings are unbearable, and I suffer panic attacks in the shower cubicle, or just completely 'zone out' in it until I find myself standing under cold running water an hour after getting in. I feel sick and vomit and my heart races. I do calm down, it takes me about 3 hours from waking up (I do sleep ok, about 6 hours a night), I cannot dry my hair with a drier as my arms are painful, and I suffer terrible body aches every morning. I get myself to work... I dont know how but I do, and after an hour or so i'm feeling better.
I have seen my GP again, who again, has put me on Sertraline 50mg, nasty side effects at first but I know it helps somewhat. I just dont get why its only the mornings, and why its every summer, in 2008 I was off work for a month, as I woke up and couldn't leave my house one day, the year before in the summer, I was given diazepam for panic disorder, the year before that I took an overdose on dolsulepin... in the summer... the years before that I was bulimic and addicted to shopping, and had huge debts leaving me bankrupt and again, on meds and very unwell. I know people are affected by SAD but this is not in the darker months, and its ruining my summers and my life, I destroyed relationships and cant progress in my career, and i'm pretty fed up. Any ideas?
I have seen my GP again, who again, has put me on Sertraline 50mg, nasty side effects at first but I know it helps somewhat. I just dont get why its only the mornings, and why its every summer, in 2008 I was off work for a month, as I woke up and couldn't leave my house one day, the year before in the summer, I was given diazepam for panic disorder, the year before that I took an overdose on dolsulepin... in the summer... the years before that I was bulimic and addicted to shopping, and had huge debts leaving me bankrupt and again, on meds and very unwell. I know people are affected by SAD but this is not in the darker months, and its ruining my summers and my life, I destroyed relationships and cant progress in my career, and i'm pretty fed up. Any ideas?