Scared of fixing my anxiety. [Archive]

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Stagaz90

08-09-10, 15:52

Hey guys my name is ben im 20 and ive been suffering with anxiety and self-awareness for the past 3-4 years now and ive had enough. So today i finally plucked up some courage and called my local gp, and made an appointment for tomorrow to find out why im getting anxious all the time. I became so nervous when i phoned and now im very anxious about tomorrow because i dont want my family to find out im going, and im worried about what the doctor is going to say. Like i said i also suffer with self-awareness so im always worried about how i come across to other people and i care alot about what people think of me, so walking into the doctors with people looking at me is something i would like to avoid. And now im having doubts about whether i should go or not, does anyone have any advice please, Thanks.

BunnyMazonas

08-09-10, 16:04

Please, try to calm yourself and don't worry (I know, not the best advice, is it?!).

I know exactly how you feel. The hardest part of trying to deal with anxiety is accepting that you have a problem and that you need help to resolve it. All those fears of judgement and of people finding out are totally normal and we all feel them.

Remember that everyone else in the doctor's is going to be there for some problem or other. Some may have the flu, others may have diabetes or blood pressure, but a surprising number will be there for the exact same reason as you. You can't tell that someone has anxiety problems just by looking at them. They will not know why you are there, and honestly the vast majority will be more concerned with their own health than anything else.

You have already done so well to take the first step and to contact the doctor for help. That is always such a hard thing to do and you should feel proud of yourself that you managed it. I've suffered from anxiety since I was a young teen and only now, in my mid-20s did I finally get the courage to address it properly.

The next step, seeing the doctor, will be important. If you feel nervous about it, try writing down your concerns. Something like;

I have a problem with anxiety. These are the things that happen to me; (list panic attacks, OCD, etc) and this is how they affect my life (loss of sleep, inability to care for self, time off sick from work, struggling with studies etc). I feel like I need to start healing myself and would appreciate assistance and advice.

If you need to you can just hand over what you've written to the doctor and let them read it. Believe me, I've done that before and they are very understanding.

It might be worth thinking about what sort of help you want before your visit. Do you want to try counselling? Do you think you need meds, or do you want to try being without them? Think carefully about your options and list any fears or concerns you have about each course of action you could take. Lay it all out in front of you.

You will be okay, I promise you. If for any reason you feel uncomfortable with the doctor, that is okay and also normal. You can ask reception afterwards to make you another appointment with a different GP, and go from there. You don't have to tell them why and you don't need to worry how they will feel about it.

Remember we are all here and have been in the situation as well, so you can always be sure that no one here will judge you. As I said above you probably don't realise just how much courage it took for you to take this first step. Well done!

:hugs:

Nigel

08-09-10, 16:44

Hi Stagaz90,
:welcome: to NMP!

BunnyMazonas beat me to it in saying it took a lot of courage to make that appointment, and writing about it here too. Well done!

That ‘self-awareness’ thing you mentioned. It’s got a name – social anxiety – and if you have a read on here and elsewhere on the internet you’ll find it’s quite common. I know I worry rather too much about what other people think of me. It’s silly because they’ve got better things to do than analyse what I’m doing and most are probably unaware of me, but it’s still hard not to think that way.

Good luck for tomorrow. Look upon it as the day to start reclaiming your life :yesyes:

Nigel

Stagaz90

08-09-10, 16:52

Thanks for the great advise guys, its really helped :). Ive decided i will go to the appointment but i just dont know what to tell my family. Its just my family dont know ive been suffering with this. Ive basically spent the last 2 years in my house doing almost nothing because i wanted to avoid the feeling of anxiety, but they just think im lazy. So when i do go they will ask me where im going because i rarely go out, and i have no idea what to say. :/

Kell

08-09-10, 17:04

Just be honest with your family. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

They're your family & they love you. I'm sure that they will be more than happy to support you. I don't know how you have managed to keep it from them for so long. I'm sure that more than anything they will feel sad that they have not been able to help you all this time and that you've been suffering in silence.

Give them a chance to help you. They might surprise you!

Good luck

Kel
x

Hazel B

08-09-10, 17:23

It's very brave to make that appointment, when it happened to me last week it was the hardest thing I have ever done. My doctor is very kind and I am now on meds and getting help, also seeing a counsellor soon.

Remember that other patients in the doctor's surgery will be thinking about themselves and their own problem, not wondering about you. You can't tell who has a verruca/heart problem or whatever, the same as they won't know what you are there for. You are just hyper-aware of it.

You can tell your family in your own time when you are ready, just see the doc first. People who love you will want to help and get you well, not judge.

I agree that writing things down really helps, I did a list and checked it at the end of my session to make sure that I hadn't missed anything whilst blubbering! Please keep the appointment, it's your first step to recovery, best wishes.

supersezza

08-09-10, 17:25

GO!! or try reading some books too....CBT for dummies is a good one...have a look in your local library for it.

Nigel

08-09-10, 17:38

Hi again Ben,

“Its just my family dont know ive been suffering with this. Ive basically spent the last 2 years in my house doing almost nothing because i wanted to avoid the feeling of anxiety, but they just think im lazy.”

The bottom line is that they needn’t know if that’s what you prefer. I’m sure there must be some excuse for going out – even if it’s just for a breath of fresh air for an hour.

It would be good let them in on some of it though because keeping it secret is another thing that’s not gonna help the anxiety. Most people feel it’s a like weight being lifted from their shoulders when they start confiding in somebody. Again, writing a note for them to read would be a good way to begin, I think. You say they think you’re lazy, and that’s not a fair assumption. I’m sure they’ll really respect you when they learn what’s really going on.

Good luck tomorrow. Pop back and tell us how you got on :)

Nigel

Stagaz90

08-09-10, 17:42

Thanks again guys, I really apprieciate the help. Ill come back here tommorrow and let you know how it goes, thanks.

JillyH

08-09-10, 20:16

A friend who is a GP once told me he sees people every single day that are there for just the reason you are going. If your GP is at all unhelpful go see someone else because there is so much help out there for this.

Good luck and know this is the hardest step to take, you are being really brave.

BunnyMazonas

09-09-10, 10:51

I hope your appointment goes really well today! :hugs:

Stagaz90

09-09-10, 18:08

Hey, I went to my appointment today and I also told my mum about my problem. The appointment went well apart from the fact I couldnt stop shaking, but my GP has referred me to a counselor and my mum was very sympathetic.

So everything went well and now im looking forward to speaking to the counselor, I was also asked if i wanted to take medication but I turned that down, which he said was the right thing to do in my situation.

So if there is anyone out there scared to get help like me, dont be the doctor couldnt have been more friendly and understanding.

Also i would like to thank the support of everyone it really did help, i know ive already said this but it did :) Thanks.

DavidJ85

09-09-10, 18:10

Going to see my doc next week for 5th time regarding my anxiety. It's meds time for me!

onceagain

09-09-10, 18:15

my advice is go... you can do it don't give in x

WhyNick

09-09-10, 20:17

all good advice from the other members. Well done for facing up to your anxiety. That is the first step and the most difficult. Doing nothing is the easy bit but youwill only get better if you start trying to. Good luck:D

BunnyMazonas

09-09-10, 21:33

Well done! I'm so glad the doctor's visit went well :D

Nigel

10-09-10, 00:47

Hi Ben,

Thanks for the update, and what a result :yahoo:
Well done for talking to your mum about it. I bet it feel quite a relief to not have to hide the fact anymore. It’s funny but I can sense a change already, just in reading your last message.

The thing with medication is it helps a person to cope when they’re really struggling but they do little to address the real underlying problems. So it’s great if you can conquer this without them.

Good luck :)
Nigel

Stagaz90

10-09-10, 11:49

Nigel

10-09-10, 15:57

You’re welcome, and I’m pleased it helped.
Feels good to conquer a fear, doesn’t it :emot-woot: :emot-bounce: :emot-dance:

Nigel

Hazel B

10-09-10, 17:24

Well done for going, you should be so proud of yourself, I have a HUGE smile now as I'm so pleased for you. The people who love you will not judge, and anyone else is not worth knowing in my opinion. I have never been so wretched as I was last week and you really do find out who loves you and will stick by you.
I hope your counselling goes well, best wishes and well done.