Stu N
10-09-10, 14:26
Good afternoon, all.
Even though I'm an internet user of 30 years standing (at least) I'm still anxious about posting to a forum for the first time -- so, here goes...
I'm in my late fifties, but like to think of myself as cool and indeed groovy and generally more upto date than my younger colleagues. 'Nuff of that.
About six years ago I was made redundant (unexpectedly -- "They can't possibly do without me!" -- he thought, erroneously) , Since then, I never really recovered and -- having tipped over 50 -- I thought "this is it, scrapheapsville". My job with one of the Big Four accountancies was outsourced and I had to train up four chaps from the sub-continent to replace me. Not good. that's another story.
Long story short -- I blew a fuse, ended up in the Priory (other services are available) doing CBT amongst other therapies. Not to much avail, I hasten to add -- I 'fought it', as one does.
Couldn't speak; avoided 'phone calls; hid away; suffered from the 'shoogles' (spasms, shaking, etc.). Started my own self-employed business, which didn't really bring in much money.
After several years, I was offered another job. Seemed peachy, I'd more or less recovered enough to attend the interview and was subsequently hired on the basis of my 'logical skills'. After nearly three years, this job is not as satisfying as I'd expected and I wasn't 'delivering' as I had been used to in the previous 30 years of working in IT. Added to this was the element of peer pressure from people about 20 years my junior.
Again, I've blown a fuse, for slightly different reasons. Again, it's a self-esteem issue with sprinkings of lack of confidence and the inabilty to communicate.
So -- spasms, inabilty to comminicate with 'authority' (fear) -- add to that the more physical results: IBS; high BP; insomnia; &c.; &c. you know the score, I'm sure. Worst of all it the attacks of 'inability' that I suffer from -- tying a shoelace; making a cuppa; talking to 'er indoors. All of these can leave me frustrated, wound-up, stomping about and generally beating myself up (metaphorically).
I'm on Beta-Blockers; prescribed Citalopram (took it, scared the sheggis out of me; not touched it since). Hopefully soon to be undertaking CBT &c. NHS -- not private, this time.
Looking to (needing a) a career change. But what? Help!!
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Stu
Even though I'm an internet user of 30 years standing (at least) I'm still anxious about posting to a forum for the first time -- so, here goes...
I'm in my late fifties, but like to think of myself as cool and indeed groovy and generally more upto date than my younger colleagues. 'Nuff of that.
About six years ago I was made redundant (unexpectedly -- "They can't possibly do without me!" -- he thought, erroneously) , Since then, I never really recovered and -- having tipped over 50 -- I thought "this is it, scrapheapsville". My job with one of the Big Four accountancies was outsourced and I had to train up four chaps from the sub-continent to replace me. Not good. that's another story.
Long story short -- I blew a fuse, ended up in the Priory (other services are available) doing CBT amongst other therapies. Not to much avail, I hasten to add -- I 'fought it', as one does.
Couldn't speak; avoided 'phone calls; hid away; suffered from the 'shoogles' (spasms, shaking, etc.). Started my own self-employed business, which didn't really bring in much money.
After several years, I was offered another job. Seemed peachy, I'd more or less recovered enough to attend the interview and was subsequently hired on the basis of my 'logical skills'. After nearly three years, this job is not as satisfying as I'd expected and I wasn't 'delivering' as I had been used to in the previous 30 years of working in IT. Added to this was the element of peer pressure from people about 20 years my junior.
Again, I've blown a fuse, for slightly different reasons. Again, it's a self-esteem issue with sprinkings of lack of confidence and the inabilty to communicate.
So -- spasms, inabilty to comminicate with 'authority' (fear) -- add to that the more physical results: IBS; high BP; insomnia; &c.; &c. you know the score, I'm sure. Worst of all it the attacks of 'inability' that I suffer from -- tying a shoelace; making a cuppa; talking to 'er indoors. All of these can leave me frustrated, wound-up, stomping about and generally beating myself up (metaphorically).
I'm on Beta-Blockers; prescribed Citalopram (took it, scared the sheggis out of me; not touched it since). Hopefully soon to be undertaking CBT &c. NHS -- not private, this time.
Looking to (needing a) a career change. But what? Help!!
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Stu