View Full Version : i hope this is in right place
im just gone say how my life has been and now i seem to be cutting myself im 25 and i got a lovely family a boyfriend whos good to me and a lil boy whos 3
when i was younger i got sexually assulted by my old bro if i can call him that and then raped by two lad at school
then my dad passed away and then my mom most recently
ive been on anti depression and now after one of the docs took me off them i been feeling really down and started cutting myself
my main problem is i never seem happy cant join in jokes and family life like i should
i bottle everything up and cant trust or turn to him and his famiy
i just want to be happy and try and forget about the above sexually assult and rape
this even causing me not to perform in sex
when i cut myself it feels good for the few minutes but after i done it and days after im really down and get headaches and sleep alot
when i had my lil boy i had pnd aswell
i just want to speak to people and see wht i can do about these problems
bellxx
Hi
Sorry to hear what you have been through, If you ever want a chat please feel free to send me a PM
Take Care
Wendy x
bell you are not the only one on this site who has resorted to this form of hurt to yourself, so do not be harsh on yourself. that man hurt you really bad but you must not punish yourself like he did to you. does your partner know about the abuse. why do you feel you cannot trust anyone? stupid question i suppose, but you should share it a she sounds like he would really help you
i hope you feel better now that you 2 have made friends
jackie
jackie i was straight wit him when i meet up with him what went on but i dont want to bother him with this cus i know it will be better this way
i been the docs and they put me back on tablets and said they see how i am getting on with them after a monthif i still feel the same she said that she will double the does of them.
i asked for some counselling for the things that happened in my life and she said they will find out the places for me and phone and tell me where it is and stuff
the doc understood what and why i feel in black hole and said i should of come sooner to her and ask for these things
she wasnt to happy with the other doc who took me off the tablets and she gave me more
so hopefully in the next couple of weeks i be able go to this counselling and try and get out of this black hole
bellxx
Hi bell
Sorry to hear that you have been through so much. I just wanted to say hi and let you know that you can send me a message if ever you need to chat.
Take Care
Spice xx
i have a leaflet trough from the docs about axis-counselling
im going to ring them up when they open and get me a appointment
i got appointment for a counselling session which is on thursday the 13th of april
hope all goes well
im starting to get scared about it aswell
the feeling of my passed being bought back up and whats happened
Southern_Belle
11-04-06, 14:36
Bell,
You are a survivor, look what you have already been through! You need this counseling. I know you are scared and it will be extremely tough to talk about the past but once you do it will not haunt you like it has. This cutting has got to stop. You are such a good person and a wonderful mother and deserve so much happiness. I do hope this will help you and you can be happy with your family.
Bel
thanks belle and i have tried to stop the cutting and i have succeed now for a while
bellx
lilbell,Im sorry to here what you have gone through. Im glad you have gone to see a councellor I had my first appointment yesterday am so glad i went it wasnt as scarey as i thought. I hope you start to recover and start to be happy.:D Your lucky to have a bf and a little boy to look after you as well and you shouldnt feel frightend of speaking about wot happened to your bf he loves you and am sure he could be supportive.
Let us know ur progress.....
Tc kim
hi kim
i went for my first appoinment yesterday to it was the intro but it went well nothing to be scared of
ive got to wait 6-8 weeks now cus im on there waiting list
but it should do me some good
but however i felt a bit down last night
but i feel better then i did this morning
lilbell,
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and supporting you all the way from down under New Zealand.
I hope you are finding relief from the "undesirable behaviours". I can promise you relief is at hand and very achievable. I sincerely hope you are finding life easier now that you have the support from your NMP peers and the wealth of information availabble here too.
May your counsellor be an informed and switch on professional that can help or facilitate in getting your anxiety well and truly settled. I porpmise you it is possible - I have been through the wringer and suffered the consequences - but have emerged a stronger and better person.
I care.
Antipodes
hi sorry i havent posted in a while i still waiting for another appointment but i have had a lot of days where im constant down and want to sleep all the time
but im starting to pull myself out of these days some times it works other times it doesnt
Hi lilbell,
good to see you posting again and glad youre hanging on in there. Hopefully your appointment wont be too much longer and in the meantime youre doing just great taking each day as it comes.
take care
Coni X
i been doing really good until i hurt my pelvis and now pains in stomach
i just wish the whole lot of pain in pelvis goes and stomach
the pelvis one was over a week ago and it not got any better
the last two days i have been a wake with stomache ache
went to bed early nd got up again
your stomach ache will go and your pelvis will get better, just hang in there if you've been doing good. can't stop things coming up that don't feel good, just tell yourself this will pass emmas
emmas i been in pain for almost three weeks now and the docs are doing test on me
one being this morning and one some time soon
i dont think its in my head and i know you only trying to help but i dont think like you hun
im sorry
heya bell hun,
thinking of u!! know how long u been in pain- hope them damn docs sort u out!!! It will pass wen they give u the rite meds etc hun!!! I hope they dont take to long about me poor sweet!!!
For anyone whos confused this isnt lilbell sufferein health anx- she is really ill but we will sort her soon!!!
Gemxxxxxxx
Southern_Belle
28-06-06, 21:38
Bell,
I hope you feel better soon and that they get to the bottom of this quickly. This has been going on for too long. Hugs...
Bel
"Our thoughts are our reality"
hi all my results of my swob hasnt come back yet grrr
still got to wait and im still waiting for appointment for my scan
and i still feel like rubbish
bellxx
my swobs came back and i had infection in my urine so they gave me cream and a tablet for that then i went the docs on friday
well i got some tablets that took my pain away from my pelvis on friday
but early hours of this morning i woke up with pains in back and down my legs
so i went the nurse this morning and she said i got this Sciatica so i got to tak the same pain killer i got on friday for them both
i dont kow when all this going to end
i hope it soon
im feeling alot better than the last few week
cus of the help of the painkillers
bellxx
my scan has eventually come through its on the 31st of aug
wobily_lin
12-08-06, 14:36
Hey Bell,
That's great news hun. God it's about time innit,,, damn NHS. Hopefully now ye can find out once and for all wtf is going on in there innit...
I know things have been tough hun but just try and look for the light at the end of that tunnel. It is there albeit at times very very faint..
Keep me updated eh?? Your a great friend Bell. I'm here for you wheneva ye need me okies...
Take care of you for me hun.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Take care,
Lin.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Southern_Belle
13-08-06, 12:36
Bell,
Glad it is finally scheduled. Please let me know as soon as you hear something. Thinking of you.
Bel
"Our thoughts are our reality"
thanks to hiddy and wobily lin and southern belle for wishing me luck and recovery
bellxx
Hi Lilbell,
I'm thinking of you too and I compliment you on your pals, I count Wobily_Lin as a pal (cyber sis) too and I'm thinking of you and her and sending you both positive thoughts.
Antipodes aka Jeff
i went for my scan and the adie who did the scan said it seems ok down there
all i need to do now is wait for it to get back the docs
thanks all for asking and i tell you all when i know more info
bellxx
the scan was fine but they still dont know whats wrong so they told me to take the tablets they gave me still
today i be going to a axis councellor hope i be able to cope and get there and back in one peice and i be able to speak and tell her everything bellxx
Hi bell,
Hope everything goes ok for you today,
thinking of you
Hugs to you
Lynnann
lynnann the apointment went well but journey on way back didnt i feel like a right wuss i normal can go on bus without having panick attacks
i want rid of all this ****e
bell xx
Hi Bell,
So sorry your journey back did not go well, I am with you 100% on wishing to be rid!! Just try to remember tomorrow is a bright new day
Hugs to you
Lynnann
thanks hun
and im here for you and thinking of you every day
hope we can beat this hun
bell xxx
Sue K with 5
05-10-06, 11:34
Bell Im sure things willl now start taking a positibe step up for you!!
Keep fighting
sue
xxx
scknight
sue hun i dont think it will it seem im getting worse has the days and weeks our going by and the docs are crap telling me to self help my self
what sort of docs are they hey
****e ones
sorry
Hi Bell,
Agree with you on the doctors! some of them anyway!
As to the self healing, got to be worth a try!
There for you, whenever and however!
Hugs to you
Lynnann
Remember tomorrow is a bright new day
lynnann
i would love to start self treating myself but i dont know how and where to start
and now i have develop panick attacks and it getting me down
if you got any pointers how to start gettting better i would love them
thanks again
bellxxx
Hi Bell,
Started developing panic attacks myself that is what drove me to this site, not far off one at the moment to be honest!
Latest attempt is www.emofree.com which you can download the trial version for free! Carldourish sent the link to me so might be worth keeping an eye open for his chat night, know I will!
I am also trying to read when I have time and energy
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Courage-Heal-Workbook-Survivors-Sexual/dp/0060964375/sr=8-4/qid=1159183507/ref=sr_1_4/026-4202464-7642056?ie=UTF8&s=books
I hope this is of some help to you, I am here for you, you can PM me anytime, it may take me a couple of days to reply but I promise I will
Hugs to you
Lynnann
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