View Full Version : really going through it...
it's the first anniversary of my mum's death this weekend. I've also had a cold/cough for nearly a week, which is playing on my "globus/swallowing" fears, and my anxiety levels are sky high...would so appreciate some supportive words...thanks
margaret jones
11-09-10, 18:03
Hi Agnus
The anniversary will certainly be upsetting for you hun , and nothing anyone can say or do will make it any the less painfull for you .
But you know that you have friends on this site who wish you well and that might help a little have a
margaret jones
11-09-10, 18:04
sorry :hugs: from me Maggie xxx
Thank you, Maggie, thats so lovely of you, and it helps xx
Vanilla Sky
11-09-10, 19:09
Lovely Agnes ,
Sending you love and hugs
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
We are here if you need us
Paige xxx
olderfella
11-09-10, 19:22
Were thinking of you,try and stay strong:hugs:
Thank you, lovely Paige, and kind olderfella...your words mean so much and I feel less alone
My heart goes out to you. I'm thinking of you and hope that you find some comfort.
~glowly worm~
11-09-10, 21:30
Sending gentle gentle hugs Agnes x
*Really* thinking of you!!
Like the others said all we can do re your loss is send our love x
Know you are in our thoughts and not alone x
~ glowly ~
jothenurse
11-09-10, 21:34
I feel bad for you. I lost my Mom a couple of weeks ago, and I know that when my Dad passed away, you have to go through those "firsts", like the holidays and the anniversary when they pass away.
Take Care.
ladybird64
11-09-10, 21:41
Awww Agnes, we haven't spoken for a while and I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so rough.
With your mums anniversary at the forefront of your mind every little health problem will be magnified..be reassured that it will pass and as you say, it is just your fears giving you a hard time.
Have a big sympathetic cuddle and know that all your friends here are thinking of you :hugs:
So many dear and caring people, some of whom I know, and some I don't, responding to a few lines of despair. How lovely is that? I feel so supported and cared for. Thank you so, so much.
It has been a gradual build up over the week...its been my non-working week and I've also isolated myself from my children and grandchildren so that they don't catch this bug I have, so I've had little contact with anyone. When I went to Sainsburys late this afternoon to get some roses for my Mum's grave, it was packed and I couldn't park, so I just drove back home with my anxieties re the swallowing etc at an all time high. I was in "bits" by the time I arrived home and I really didnt know what to do. I posted my few lines on here and burst into tears whilst writing.
I'm still feeling very fragile and anxious but I feel so heartened by your responses and that helps me so much. Thank you, again.
Thank you so much, Paul, for your encouraging words
ladybird64
12-09-10, 11:39
Good morning Agnes. :)
How are you feeling today?
Really appreciate you asking, Ladybird, thank you.
I went to Sainsburys early and bought the roses...hopefully will take them up after the church services are over. I've tried a bit of JFDI when I'm able too!
And Jaco posted something about the thoughts causing the anxiety and not the actual thing in itself, so I'm trying to remember this, again, when I'm able.
How are you, anyway...I've missed chatting with you.
Hi Agnes,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. As somebody else wrote, ‘firsts’ are always the hardest, and I remember that from when Dad died. It was 8 years last Tuesday and I still thought about it a lot that day, but not in such a sad way as that first year. Try to remember the good times... Mum will like that :)
BTW, well done for persevering and tackling Sainsburys again. I must admit I don’t have a problem with supermarkets but even I hate going of a weekend – they’re just so damned busy! And if, due to some serious mismanagement, I do have to go for something, I go later in the evening when it’s less hectic. I’m not good at doing ‘early’ like you :winks:
Hope today goes ok. Mum will love the roses :)
Nigel
Agnes, I'm thinking of you again today and send a big hug and understanding and comfort. The "firsts" are always the worst, I hope you have many happy memories to cherish.
Thank you for your lovely words and thoughts, Nigel and Hazel...I still havent been to the churchyard...feeling a bit "wobbly" again with anxiety. But I know I will go, I'm just putting it off at present.
Thank you both
Sweetheart, go in your own time when you are ready.
Grief is such a rollercoaster, you don't know how you will feel or react from one day to the next. Please take good care of yourself and take it one day at a time, I can't tell you how long it takes to pass as everyone is different but we are all here for you.
x
This is one of those times when it’s perfectly natural to feel a little ‘wobbly’. As Hazel said – “go in your own time when you are ready.”
Maybe it would help have a quiet wander around the churchyard...
Take care,
Nigel
I've just got back from the churchyard. To be honest, I rushed it all a bit because I was feeling panicky...although, when I was concentrating on placing the roses and having a little "chat" with my Mum and Dad, I sort of forgot to be anxious.
Thank you all for your encouragement
Well done, you have done so well and been brave.
jothenurse
12-09-10, 21:06
Good job.
~glowly worm~
13-09-10, 10:29
Dear Agnes,
Touched by your perseverance, courage and strength during such a difficut time.
Yet more gentle hugs for you and i do hope today is a little easier,
~glowly~ xxx
Thank you again, everyone.
Unfortunately, my anxiety has gone into overdrive...I'm seeing the doctor this afternoon about my chesty cough, which is getting no better, but I'm also going to have to ask for some diazepam short-term.
I cant believe all this has blown up again and I wish I could stop feeling like such a loser.
Hi Agnes,
A huge WELL DONE!! for yesterday :)
“I was concentrating on placing the roses and having a little "chat" with my Mum and Dad, I sort of forgot to be anxious.”
See... sometimes when we stop trying so hard not to be anxious, it just sort of happens :winks:
Hope you’re feeling a little calmer now.
Take care,
Nigel
paula lynne
13-09-10, 14:26
I understand how you feel. Just passed the first anniversary of my mums death too...very emotional strange feelings..its going to be hard. But it does get better...prepare yourself...rescue remedy, lavender etc. You know the swallowing is because of increased anxiety, trust it will pass. x:blush:
Thank you again, everyone.
Unfortunately, my anxiety has gone into overdrive...I'm seeing the doctor this afternoon about my chesty cough, which is getting no better, but I'm also going to have to ask for some diazepam short-term.
I cant believe all this has blown up again and I wish I could stop feeling like such a loser.
Stop with the loser bit! :hugs: Its very hard to deal with, the 3 year anniversary of my mum passing has just gone, it always brings up emotions, for anyone, let alone if you suffer from anxiety! Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, if you need extra help to get you through this difficult time, then so be it. :hugs:
Thank you, heavenly.
I went to see the doctor this afternoon. He was very understanding. I don't have a serious chest infection but he could see that the anxiety about the cough etc was making life difficult at present. He prescribed some low doseage, short term diazepam.
He also said that it was difficult for people with anxiety when they're poorly, because they can find it hard to separate the physical from the mental, and that they can, at times, see things as worse than they are. I said something about being neurotic and he said, "We are all neurotic...it just affects us in different ways." I liked that.
I think the anxiety makes up hyper-aware of every symptom. You have been under a lot of emotional stress and been really brave. You are NOT a loser, rather someone with grief and worry.
Take care, I hope tomorrow is better for you, I found Diaz good for a few days, it stopped my racing mind.
Thank you, heavenly.
I went to see the doctor this afternoon. He was very understanding. I don't have a serious chest infection but he could see that the anxiety about the cough etc was making life difficult at present. He prescribed some low doseage, short term diazepam.
He also said that it was difficult for people with anxiety when they're poorly, because they can find it hard to separate the physical from the mental, and that they can, at times, see things as worse than they are. I said something about being neurotic and he said, "We are all neurotic...it just affects us in different ways." I liked that.
Sounds like a good GP, worth their weight in gold, mine is wonderful too. She really understands, doesn't brush any of my 'anxieties and worries' under the carpet and is very positive the whole time with me.
~glowly worm~
14-09-10, 17:39
Lovely Agnes,
you are doing *GREAT* like the others said, sometimes we need a bit of chemical help to add to our courage and with what you have been through it is comlpetely understandable that you need some.
So glad your GP helped you and that the chest infection is not serious, perhaps that might ease things now and you might begin to feel a bit better physically? But please dont blame yourself or call yourself names..would you do that to us lot?...:p You dont deserve anyone to say horrible things about you and that includes your inner voice :)
Sorry if this is rambling,
many warm hugs...
~glowly~
Thank you, Hazel, Heavenly and Glowly...you just go to prove what lovely people belong to NMP.
This next bit is almost comical...
I coughed so much this morning that I pulled something in my lower back...I'm now not only coughing and spluttering and being anxious...I'm hobbling!!! If it didnt hurt to laugh, I actually would giggle about it! :D
Bless your sweet soul, take care and hope the cough and pain clear really soon.
Thank you, Hazel, Heavenly and Glowly...you just go to prove what lovely people belong to NMP.
This next bit is almost comical...
I coughed so much this morning that I pulled something in my lower back...I'm now not only coughing and spluttering and being anxious...I'm hobbling!!! If it didnt hurt to laugh, I actually would giggle about it! :D
I think humour is so important dealing with this friggin awful anxiety stuff! I have to have a colonoscopy soon, if I wasn't anxious enough as it is!! I now have to prepare for something to be stuck up my jacksy! :wacko: As you say, you have to laugh. :winks:
Oh, Heavenly, your post just made me laugh out loud :roflmao:
But of course I started coughing and now I have to find a way to soothe my back :roflmao:
Oh, Heavenly, your post just made me laugh out loud :roflmao:
But of course I started coughing and now I have to find a way to soothe my back :roflmao:
Sorry about that. :roflmao:
Honestly though, I am glad I am a glass is half full sort of person, I have always been like that, no matter what cr*p (oooh, topical lol!) came my way. I do think it helps, I really do, to cope.
Heavenly, humour is a gift, and you've got it...I havent found much to laugh at this past week but you've just made me laugh twice now! Thank you and bless you!
:bighug1:
Heavenly, humour is a gift, and you've got it...I havent found much to laugh at this past week but you've just made me laugh twice now! Thank you and bless you!
:bighug1:
You are most welcome. :hugs: Though I won't be laughing when they try and get me in that hospital gown, I can tell you! That pale blue gross dingy colour does nothing for me! :lac::winks:
Yes but a few years ago I went as a day case patient and forgot my slippers...so i had to stand in the group of new admissions in a blue backless gown (mine was the one without ties) wearing black heavy calf high boots...very fetching :D
Yes but a few years ago I went as a day case patient and forgot my slippers...so i had to stand in the group of new admissions in a blue backless gown (mine was the one without ties) wearing black heavy calf high boots...very fetching :D
You kinky beast! :roflmao:
I think they make those gowns tie up at the back so you feel as humiliated as possible! I had to wear one yesterday for and XRay and I couldn't tie it up, just walked around holding it at the back and hoping the people in the waiting room did not get a splendid view!
Hospital are my worse fear even though as I have Crohns Diease I have been going since I was 15, but I think the older Ive got the more scared I have become.
It's funny, I'm the opposite, I always feel safe in a hospital as I think "the life savers are nearby"! I had a bone disease when I was a kid and they saved my life in hospital, I guess that's why.
We are all different but the brilliant thing is we can support each other on this site.
~glowly worm~
17-09-10, 14:51
Aww Agnes & Heavenly what a pair!!! :p
Heavenly, will be thinking of you x
jacksy indeed, well they say we learn something knew everyday..jacksy is my new word! :p
Hazel that's a lovely way to put it, 'lifesavers nearby' and you're right i love how we are so different, it helps to have others who are not afraid of the things we are so that they can help us through.
Kerry im sure you will find support here, it sounds really tough for you x
Has anyone seen 'somethings gotta give' with Jack Nicholson? its a rom com film but what made me think of it was the mention of the gowns because in one scene his hospital gown shows off his behind and his cheeky face is hilarious!
Sending more warm hugs xxx
Has anyone seen 'somethings gotta give' with Jack Nicholson? its a rom com film but what made me think of it was the mention of the gowns because in one scene his hospital gown shows off his behind and his cheeky face is hilarious!
Sending more warm hugs xxx
Yes, I have seen it. :D Talking of Jack Nicholson, it was mentioned on here somewhere that if we had a Xmas party, it would be like a scene out of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. :roflmao:
Re me having a flexi on 1 Oct, when I am having a 'normal' day, the procedure and going to hospital doesn't bother me at all, but if I am feeling anxious, like most of this week, it seems a mountain to climb. Its so annoying that my thoughts do this to me!! Grrrr!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.