Jenny85
13-09-10, 10:49
I’m really suffering at the moment, and don’t know how to cope. I’ve had “bad patches” of anxiety over the past few years, but recently it’s become worse than ever. At least in the past I could get a decent night’s sleep, but now I’m waking up at 3am, 5am, and the panic sets in.
Basically, my worst ever patch of anxiety came a few months ago, when I tried to stop smoking. This just made me want to smoke more than ever, and my cigarette intake skyrocketed. I had frequent panic attacks and just wanted to die. I couldn’t even think about not smoking. I know it doesn’t relax me, but the fact is I get obsessed with it. My doctor prescribed me a short dose of diazepam, which I took for a wee while. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and really thought I was getting somewhere.
I was doing well for a good while, not out of the woods, but I had reduced my cigarette intake massively, and could go 3 days a week without smoking. Just last week, I decided to try and go for an extra day not smoking, and the panic has just blasted me. I can’t even get back to where I was before – only smoking a few, a few days a week. I fall asleep OK, but then wake horribly early and the only thing on my mind is where that next cigarette is coming from. I hate feeling like this. I keep a thought record (advised by my therapist), and try breathing exercises, rescue remedy, camomile tea, but nothing works. I wish this obsession with cigarettes would just trail off again.
I’m terrified because I’m going on holiday with my boyfriend next week and I can’t stand the thought of it being ruined. We’ve both worked so hard to pay for it. People say, just relax and enjoy it, but I worry I won’t be able to and it’ll put immense pressure on our relationship. I never smoke around him – he hates it, and his mum was ill because of smoking. In the past I wouldn’t have minded a smoke-free week, but right now I’m terrified that I won’t be fit to do that. I just want to get back to the way I was, and I’m praying this bad patch will life before we go away. I just feel hopeless. I’m staying with my parents right now, and at 3am, I went and climbed into bed with my mum, like a child.
Sorry, I just needed to say this. If anyone has any similar experiences, I’d like to hear about them.
Basically, my worst ever patch of anxiety came a few months ago, when I tried to stop smoking. This just made me want to smoke more than ever, and my cigarette intake skyrocketed. I had frequent panic attacks and just wanted to die. I couldn’t even think about not smoking. I know it doesn’t relax me, but the fact is I get obsessed with it. My doctor prescribed me a short dose of diazepam, which I took for a wee while. I’ve been seeing a therapist, and really thought I was getting somewhere.
I was doing well for a good while, not out of the woods, but I had reduced my cigarette intake massively, and could go 3 days a week without smoking. Just last week, I decided to try and go for an extra day not smoking, and the panic has just blasted me. I can’t even get back to where I was before – only smoking a few, a few days a week. I fall asleep OK, but then wake horribly early and the only thing on my mind is where that next cigarette is coming from. I hate feeling like this. I keep a thought record (advised by my therapist), and try breathing exercises, rescue remedy, camomile tea, but nothing works. I wish this obsession with cigarettes would just trail off again.
I’m terrified because I’m going on holiday with my boyfriend next week and I can’t stand the thought of it being ruined. We’ve both worked so hard to pay for it. People say, just relax and enjoy it, but I worry I won’t be able to and it’ll put immense pressure on our relationship. I never smoke around him – he hates it, and his mum was ill because of smoking. In the past I wouldn’t have minded a smoke-free week, but right now I’m terrified that I won’t be fit to do that. I just want to get back to the way I was, and I’m praying this bad patch will life before we go away. I just feel hopeless. I’m staying with my parents right now, and at 3am, I went and climbed into bed with my mum, like a child.
Sorry, I just needed to say this. If anyone has any similar experiences, I’d like to hear about them.