te34resa
28-02-04, 22:46
Hello, everyone and anyone. I've only just found this site and it loks just what I'm looking for. My name is Teresa, I'm 43 and live in England. I think I first started to experience panic attacks at least 24 years ago and I remember wondering what on earth was going on. Suddenly I could hardly even manage to get home on the bus after work without wanting to scream and things like church, in which I'd always taken an active part, even taking he collection and leading Sunday School, became impossible. I couldn't even sit still in the pew for shaking. I think my problems started when I became ill with a stomach virus which has become irritable bowel syndrome, so one of my major fears is vomiting and not being able to make the toilet in time, which is very real with this condition. I'm really good at making excuses not to do things and only feel really "safe"- a word featuring strongly in my life when I have no plans and nothing I "have" to do. Of course, this makes for a boring, lonely and sad life! I'm ill much of the time which makes my husband and family very frustrated. I know a lot of it is because I spend most of my time tense and stressed for no real reason. My husband would love to travel and I suddenly thought the other day of all the things I could do if it weren't for me! Get on a plane for one. I mentioned this to him and he said he's take me abroad next year if I'l go. How on earth will I get on a plane? Even holidays and anything away from the normal routine panics me. I'm so tired of living this small little life. I gave up a good job in childcare because I couldn't make myself get there every day. It would be lovely to talk to people who understand. People just think I'm being boring or stand-offish and I can't explain how I feel. Thank you for listening. Teresa.