And so it begins...

[Blue_Souffle]

Hello everyone,

I'm a guy in my 20s.

I've been fighting what I think is depression. Probably pretty severe depression. For literally as long as I can remember.

I guess I can't know for sure as I've never sought out help for it because I don't want the stigma and every time I've tried to open up to anyone it's just created many more problems for me, so I've learnt to keep quiet.

I can remember having suicidal thoughts fairly regularly as far back as primary school.

I pretty much screwed up in education. I passed with flying colours but not knowing what I wanted to do; I ended up in a field that I have no interest in and I hate my job.

Things have been going quickly downhill over the last year. Mostly my fault. I've let it.

I think I'm developing some kind of panic disorder too. Over the last few weeks I've started to get an upset stomach, chest pains and a feeling of dread whenever I have to interact with anyone or go anywhere. Especially work. It doesn't help that I've never been great at these things.

My wonderful girlfriend of four years told me today that she doesn't feel the same about me as she did and she doesn't know if she wants to carry on.

So yeah, pretty off the rails right now. And I don't see any way to make anything better and I have no idea where to go next.

I'm not after sympathy, or even help, at all with this thread. Just saying that this is how I ended up here.

I know the answer is probably no but if you could fast track me into the chatroom then that would be great. I don't know if anyone is even around at this time but I'm pretty low right now and it'd be good to have someone to chat with.

Thanks,
talk to you all soon!

[diane07]

Hi Blue_Souffle

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[paula lynne]

Hi and welcome :welcome:I hope you find what youre looking for here, I know youll meet lots of like-minded individuals. Im new so can go to the xhar room yet, but if you pm one of the moderators, they can let you in the chatroom in some circumstances, All the best and nice to meet you. x:)

[paula lynne]

I mean chat room! typing in the dark....

[Kell]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time.

The first thing I would say is that you have nothing to feel ashamed of. Depression & anxiety are perfectly normal and as you can see from this forum they are very common aswell. Keeping things bottled up will not help you so you have done the right thing by starting to open up about how you are feeling by joining this forum.

Everyone is different & chooses to handle things differently but if it were me then my first port of call would be my GP. Obviously it's up to you how you choose to approach things. There is nothing to fear in going to your GP about this. They see people every day who are experiencing the same as you.

As for your girlfriend, perhaps if you sit down and have a heart to heart with her and explain that you are going to get help it may change things. I wouldn't like to summise as to her reasons for not feeling the same but if it is due to your depression and the way that you have been then if she sees that you are seeking help then she may feel differently. It should never be underestimated how hard it is for the partners of anxiety / depression sufferers. It's not easy watching someone you love suffer or having to be with someone who is always low.

Take care & keep us updated as to your progress

Kel
x

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:
Paige x

[Kerry B]

Hi and welcome I hope you find this site as useful as I have found it, its been my life saver and have met good friends along the way.

[Bellakins]

Hi, welcome! I've been depressed since primary school too, it is...awful. I'm 24, so near in age to you I'm guessing.

I hope you find lots of support here, I'm sure you will x

[nomorepanic]

I know the answer is probably no but if you could fast track me into the chatroom then that would be great. I don't know if anyone is even around at this time but I'm pretty low right now and it'd be good to have someone to chat with.


You already have chat room access.