Oh my god anxitey

[ian414]

Oh my god what is going on, when you just think things are getting better, here am i going to A&E for the 70th time yes 70th, why do you ask, well yesterday i couldnt stand it anymore worrying if i had Lung Cancer worrying why wont this chest infection go away been on 5 lots of Antibiotics, so what goes throuh your mind the weezing wont go still cough up green phlem, Well i went and i was more anxious there than being at home my pulse rate was 111 BP 141/83 but then im 42 so this could be normal for BP, why am i there why am i asking Qusestions Why do i sound like a Child asking the doctor Questions, Oh Doc do i have Cancer please tell me, for god sake im 42 not 10, well had chest Xray and Bloods done and you would not believe what the doctor told me, yes your right its clear.
Well once i knew that i was off heart rate had slowed down, couldnt wait to get home....But does this prove a point what the mind does to us makes us believe that we are really ill when we arnt, But wait why do i still believe im not right why am i still weezing do i have somthing else wrong well yes i might but what ever it is it can be sorted at least its not Cancer, why to we so fear the worst all the time? ive had so many tests and still think im diying of somthing, Think Ian Think Hard.....Ok lets go back 1 year ok to August 2009 19, now on this day my mum passed away from ovarian cancer now this was shuch a shock to me as my mum was my everything my life my rock, i was strong i had to be as im 1 of 2 brothers im the youngest but i was so close to my mum and to see my mum go as quick as she did well it must of done somthing to me as i become unweel in the November 2009, yes a massive panic attack, and thats what started me off with the Anxitey, ive had everything, but the worst is the heart racing all the tiime everyday, and i mean it will go to 141 beats a min so you can see why im not wnating to understand a doctor, ive loast weight i look Gaunt in the face, froom 11 stone down to 9 and a half stone, and believe me i eat everyday and can i put the weight on can i hell, well i dont want to bore you all so im going to leave now but please understand Anxitey is the worst thing ive ever had i would rather have an illness than this, God Bless you all Ian

[CrazyCatLady]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum Ian, I know that bereavement can trigger health anxiety, or make any anxiety you have a lot worse, especially if they pass away from an illness.

Are you on any form of treatment for your anxiety at the moment?

[MoonlightFire]

Ian, I really feel for you :( I'm so sorry you've been having such an awful time lately. Losing your Mum must have been devastating...infact I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about how awful that must have been for you. I've heard that it is quite common for health anxiety to be triggered off by the death or illness of a family member, that definitely seems to be the case with you. Have you started your CBT yet? That should really help. Medication can be really helpful for clearing the panic and intense anxiety feelings...it leaves your head a little clearer and makes you feel stronger. I know you're not keen on the idea of medication but I think it might help.

I'm so pleased to hear that the doc checked you over and said you were fine. You just have to relax now and let the chest infection run its course. Look after yourself and you'll be on the road to recovery in no time. Meanwhile focus on your CBT and how to help heal your anxiety :)

I hope you start to feel better soon hon,
Moonlight Xxx

[paula lynne]

Hi Ian Im sorry you are struggling at the moment. Our heart can beat much faster than 140bpm, so dont worry, its a powerful muscle. Ok so your bp and heart rate were elevated, but thats because it was a REACTION to the situation you were in at the time. I lost my mum last year, (she was 63), and anxiety still rears its ugly head, but please take comfort in the fact that it does get better. Have you talked to your spouse/trusted friend/gp about the way you feel? Have you read the thread on here about panic and anxiety? some great tips. Hope you feel better soon. All the best..Paula:)

[ian414]

Awww thanks so much for your replys, yes its hard to understand why we go through Anxitey and why we suffer so much, its like why have i lost weight why do i look so gaunt in the face why do all my friends say i look ill, see this is what i mean it makes you feel thats there is more wrong, i will eat and still dont put the weight on, Why? where does the weight go? Moon ive got to say thanks for the tears hun it hurts me to everytime i think of my mum and look at her pictures i cry, ive not got a Dad he passed away in 1987 from a Heart Attack, so there again is a worry the heart so its like its never ending, but yes ive had tests and all is clear but i still worry....Yes im doing CBT 3rd week next week its going ok so i wont know more untill ive been there a few more weeks, but i will let you all know how im doing God Bless you all and thanks for all you suport Ian