Everything is ruined

[Bluebelle]

All my progress has now been completely ruined and erased.

I have been doing well- leaving the house and going anywhere and everywhere with NO anxiety.

I stopped citalopram in June and have been drug free ever since.

Then disaster-my beloved wants me to join him in Australia for a month at Christmas. I can barely concentrate on typing this post-I think forcing myself to concentrate on typing is delaying a massive panic attack.

This hits all my major anxiety points.

Leaving Canada.
This would mean about a 2 day journey to get there by myself.
Approximately 24 hours INSIDE of various planes plus wait times in airports.
Leaving my little dog and sweet cat-putting them in boarding for a month-I can't even think about that.
Paying for a ticket.


I can't stop crying and I am on the verge of a panic attack- my heart is pounding right out of my chest and I am ruined.

I don't know what to do or say -I don't know what anyone else could do or say -I just have no way of coping with all this.

[nomorepanic]

Calm down Bluebelle lol

You DON'T have to go if you don't want to. I am sure he would understand.

If you do want to go then you WILL cope I promise and everything isn't ruined at all.

[Anxious_gal]

yes do not go just to please someone else.
I have often let people down my self and they eventually will understand why I had to.
you can only do as much as your able to x

[PanchoGoz]

See this as a test, not a complete disaster. After your good work, a time has come where you need to make a decision. Its an anxiety exam. Your dude should understand your anxieties and he would understand if you didn't want to go to canada. Anyone going to canada would be very nervous!

[Dahlia]

I know how you feel. But really, this hasn't ruined everything. Lots of people are faced with situations they absolutely dread, not just us anxiety sufferers. Your progress still stands.

Essentially - you don't have to go. And it's not the end of the world if you don't go. My uncle lives in Australia - every person in my family has been to visit except me. And I have no intention of going - it's too far and I don't fancy the plane ride.

The starting point for you, I think, would be - do you actually want to go (anxiety aside)?

Dahlia

[Bluebelle]

Oh My goodness !!

Thank you all for replying. I feel better having read "you don't have to go...".

This is such a serious thing for me and I really feel like you all were there for me when I was panicking.

Thank you !

He is not pressuring me to join him there but I don't want to spend Christmas alone. Christmas is a very stressful time for me anyway and this is adding to it-I feel stupid for panicking now in Sept for something in Dec but I have to book boarding for my little critters and book plane tickets.

I can't stay here in Canada for Christmas as I am not fond of spending time with my family.
I can't bear to think of leaving my little dog and cat in boarding for a month.
i don't have any money to spend on myself ( buying a ticket to Australia) at Christmas


I feel like I don't have any options. Neither options are viable for me- I feel like either way I am going to be in an awful state.

[eeyorelover]

Regardless of the stress you are under now, you CAN'T lead yourself to believe that all your progress has been ruined!!!
Just think about how far you have come!!!
You've made great strides against your anxiety and the current situation doesn't diminish any of your success!!!
PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself!

You have TIME to think of a solution and it doesn't have to be decided on right this minute.
Weigh your options. Possibly make a pro and con version of your situation on paper.
But DON'T give in to those thoughts that your work has been in vain!!
Remember to revel in the successes you've had and not dwell on the things that have yet to happen!
(((HUGS)))
xxx
Sandy

[StoneMonkey]

Nothing can take away all of the things that you have achieved.
If you give yourself a little bit of time to absorb the idea is there a chance of just maybe. How exciting would that be.
If not he would have to understand and should perhaps come to you. It would make one hell of a success story for us lot in the new year if you went though.
I would like to think that when a beloved sends an invite it also comes with the option of a paid ticket. :)
simon.

[Going home]

Is there a reason why he can't come to you instead?

Anna xx

[Anxious_gal]

how about volunteering at a soup kitchen? or a at a nursing home and cheering up lonely old folk
.
or how about a friends? I do this as I don't get on too well with my family.

you always have a choice :-)

[TheScientist]

I've been there before, where it feels like there is simply no option that is acceptable. It's always easier to look back on though, because no matter how many times I've felt that way in the past, I still continue to exist and be relatively healthy (I mean, besides being anxious).

It's hard for me to give specific advice since I don't know all the variables, but I'll bet that once the initial anxiety wears down a little and you can think clearly, you'll be able to find a solution that you can live with. :)

[Fly away Katie]

Is there a reason why he can't come to you instead?

Anna xx

I agree, maybe he should come to see you? :) :hugs: xxxxxxxxx

[Bluebelle]

Thank you everyone for all the help and support. You guys have no idea how much you really mean to me.

He has to spend Christmas in Australia-he's been living with me in Canada . I think it was the idea of having a nice break from all the snow and ice of a Canadian winter and having Christmas in warm weather.

He is really supportive of my anxiety and depression-he also understands the how I feel about my little critters and all animals. He and I volunteer at our local shelter taking care of the animals.

It's really been hard I really wanted to just stay home and lie in bed all day-completely revert to my old anxiety controlled life but I remember what you all posted and I got going.

Thank you so much- you all really saved me.
xxx