Citalopram or Not... Whats your opinion. [Archive]

steveo1980

15-09-10, 19:39

Very long story short hopefully but do I start again on Cit or stick it out some more...

Had lots of anxiety last year from house move/new baby etc
Started on 10mg Cit in Feb and it got me through the storm but did never feel back to normal on it.
I thought either increase or decrease so I chose to decrease and have been off it for one month!
I never felt 100% on it and felt like it had made me depressed, but honestly think i did feel better than i do now, even though i can't really remember now... and at the time thought it wasn't working.

Lately i'll have 3 or 4 good days and then probably 3 bad weeks. Sometimes, feeling really down and tearful, constantly tingling and thinking about the anxiety! Throughout the day I might get what i think is 5 minutes of normality in every hour.

I am taking Equazen Omega 3 and did buy some HTP but haven't 100% committed to the HTP as felt a little more anxious on them for the 3 days i took them.

Question is:-

A) Get back on Cit and work up to 20mg or more...
B) Fight it some more if you can.
C) Fight it some more and try HTP
D) Go to the docs and see what they say (they just seem to give me what I want...)

I have had 2 lots of CBT/hypnotherapy.

I as does every one else, just wants the old me back again - i'd pay anything!

Thanks

Hazel B

15-09-10, 19:58

I would ask your GP, they know you and can advise.
For me personally, I only took Cit for 4 days as I had night sweats, migraine and the shakes but it does work for some people. I changed to Propranolol to calm my pulse and that has been better.
It does seem that you do need some medical advice, even if you decide to stay off meds, please ask your GP.
Best wishes.

keta

16-09-10, 09:16

Hi Steveo

I think you should also go and discuss it with your GP first. From what i can remember 10 mg of Citalopram didn't do great deal for me so now on 20 mg and i have to say my anxiety has calm down a bit and i also don't feel so tearfull and up and down like i used to, but i still have good days and bad days, i think it's the state of your mind and no tablets will sort that out. I also been trough CBT and another lot of counselling and last time i saw my GP he said i need to try to take myself of my comfort zone at least once a week as i developed full on argophobia. I mean i 'm not house bound like i used to at one point but it's hard to break the habbit of avoiding places which will bring on full on anxiety attack. Sorry that has nothing to do with your original question lol.

Anyway good luck.

Keta

joannap

16-09-10, 17:35

the last thing you do is to fight it lol - ACCEPT, ACCEPT, ACCEPT - i am down to 5mg citalopram and still have anxiety on a daily basis - i can totally understand what you mean by 5 mins normality in every hour! it is so difficult to go agains our fight response but if you just accept your are anxious and don;t watch yourself every minute for improvements - 5 minutes will become 10 and so on. if you can cope without meds - i would always say that is the best option x

steveo1980

16-09-10, 20:05

happycamper

16-09-10, 20:25

steveo1980

17-09-10, 10:36

Hi Steveo,
I can only say about my experience but after 3 years of what I now realise what ridiculous anxiety at times after a cluster of stressful life events, I feel a tad relieved to be having a break from it and have to say citalopram has worked wonders.
Started taking it from June and started on 10mg just to cope with the side effects, then got up to the 20mg and now just feel a bit groggy 1st thing, sorted out with a cup of tea.
But never had to take any time off work and looking at other ways to cope with anxiety, weekly yoga and looking into mindfulness meditation - well don't want to be stuck on meds for ever!
Hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do. X

Great positive post - glad you are feeling better :).

Is your Anxiety as good as gone do you think?

I think I will have to go back on them, even though I thought they made me feel grumpy/down (Monday Morning feeling...) at least they seemed to improve my anxiety a little.

The annoying this is, that some days without the pills, I have felt what i think is probably normal.. but it doesn't last long enough at all but gives me probably false hope that I can do it without the pills...

Edit... Or, do i try and hold on to these moments and keep fighting and trying to beat it without meds again. One minute i think i can then the next i don't...

Grrrr... so so frustrating for us all!

Keep up the good work!!

keta

17-09-10, 12:02

Very true indeed. Will see how th next few days go then see my GP.

Thanks

"i think it's the state of your mind and no tablets will sort that out" i'm sure tablets help to sort the problem though ?

The tabets are here to help us deal better with the thoughts or how we feel but they are not a cure for anxiety or deppression otherwise i personaly wouldn't have to be on them for a third time in past 5 years, but that's my view on it.

steveo1980

17-09-10, 12:40

How do you feel on them Keta, out of interest?

Do you feel near 100%.

Hope they are working for you!

keta

17-09-10, 13:52

How do you feel on them Keta, out of interest?

Do you feel near 100%.

Hope they are working for you!

In regards to my anxiety i feel calmer but i do avoid lot of situation which will bring on the full anxiety attack, i went to pick my mother from the airport month ago and on the way there i had to pull over 3 times and that's exactly the same as if i was not on any medication. Just proves that it is state of mind not if i'm on or off medication. My mood swings have improved a lot but i still feel very down and tearfull at times. I ve been on citalopram since April first two months on 10mg and now 20 mg and i can't make my own mind about it what to do to be honest i just follow the GP's advice for now as not in state to make the decission, bit of a coward lol

Don't know if this will help at all or confuse you even more.

JFlower

17-09-10, 15:33

I've been debating whether or not to restart citalopram for months now but I do think that I need some help and citalopram certainly did do that for me some years ago.

I would speak to your GP as there are other medications which may be better for you but my reasoning for re-starting is that the good days are so few and far between and it's not worth suffering when there is help available (until I can change my thought pattern)

happycamper

17-09-10, 17:55

It's a tricky one isn't it...
All I can say is when I look back now and talk about things I remember such as wondering if the last 2 Christmases might be my last, no reason why they shouldn't be, I'm a fit 40 year old, but I was at such a state of anxiety or whatever you want to call it that I was so fearful of what may lay ahead for me, amongst many other things I can recall.
The fact that I can talk about them now openly and rationalise just how bad I was, I can only think the cit had been the biggest help and it's got me to a point where I can think straight again and work on what I need to do to try and get better, couldn't have done it without the cit I don't think, yes side effects were tough initially but managed to work, look after my sons etc and I tell you what it was so worth going through them, couldn't really see it at the time but now I realise just how bad I was, how much the anxiety was affecting my life, enjoyment with my boys and enjoyment of life in general, never want to go back there again thank you.
Steveo I'm still not 100%, only been 3 months and still have moments, but I see it as a lengthy recovery process and not just sitting back and taking happy pills but being pro active such as the yoga, learning how to relax better, mindfulness, getting early nights, less booze etc etc, I'm so scared to end up back how I was I'll try almost anything!
Even rabbiting on NMP helps!
C X

steveo1980

17-09-10, 19:55

3 very different but meaningful replies!!

Keta - you're not a coward, I think something like the airport etc will always be a difficult time for some of us no matter what. But... once you've been to the airport and on the way back, as long as you feel relieved and posiitive after, i think that is a good thing. I don't really get that much at the moment (the sense of achievment).

JFlower - sounds VERY similiar to me! 3 or 4 good days, followed by 2 or 3 bad weeks!

happycamper - i'm pleased that things are a lot better for you. i was on cit, only 10mg for about 4-5 months and it got me through the 'storm' but i felt in a depressed/down state then and i'm not normally a depressed person. after the stressful events had passed, i thought the anxiety would, but i think the habit part is stuck for a while longer. at the time i didn't know whether to decrease the cit or increase to try and get out of the down state i was in, so i chose to cut down and eventually stop a month ago now. i was doing well but then the good days got less and the thoughts more often.

so, at the moment, i'm in limbo. i had a bad start to the week followed by an okay day yesterday and today so i'll see how it goes... these moments make you think you can do it without the meds but then they don't last! :-(

joannap

17-09-10, 22:01

for me - it has been realising how my own thought patterns bring me down - if you take an honest look at how you speak to yourself in your mind - i bet you will be pretty shocked as i was! the tablets help in that they improve your mood but they do not change our thoughts for us neither do they help us address the underlying stress/stressors for our anxiety and i feel that this is why they always bottomed out after a while and i had to change meds.

i am now accepting that i am an anxious person and if i can have equal good and bad moments in a day then that it is enough for me and i am trying to watch my thoughts all the time so i do not slip into negative thinking.

i also think we fall into the habit of thinking that everyone who does not suffer anxiety is really happy all the time NOT SO - it is totally normal for your mood to fluctuate all the time to some degree. i have also found that keeping busy and not letting my anxiety stop me from doing things goes a long way to actually making me completely forget about it at times - its our focus on it that keeps it going x

JFlower

17-09-10, 22:10

i had a bad start to the week followed by an okay day yesterday and today so i'll see how it goes... these moments make you think you can do it without the meds but then they don't last! :-(
I've been doing it without meds for almost 2.5 years. At first I thought I was ok and could 'cope' but the realisation that I am having significantly more bad days (or weeks to be more accurate) have made me feel that it's a good start to help level me out while I try tackle the underlying cause (again).

Of course they aren't a cure (unfortunately lol) but, if you feel you need some additional help, then medication does have it's place. If not citalopram then something else. I was at my GP's this week and we're going with citalopram as I've taken it previously (for 3.5 years) and it works for me but he did tell me that there are many other options available if I wanted to try something else (he mentioned fluoxetine and prozac as the next ones he would try for my GAD).

Whatever you decide I hope that your anxiety improves soon :)

happycamper

18-09-10, 10:03

I understand the difficult decision it can be to start taking anti d's especially when you're certain you're not actually suffering depression. I had mine 2 or 3 weeks hidden away certain I wouldn't need them, as like yourselves had good days and felt like a failure having been prescribed them in the first place.
I'm not sure what it was that made me start taking them in the end actually and if it weren't for reading posts on this web site I'd probably have given them up cos the side effects initially weren't pleasant. I didn't tell a soul either but now feel much more confident telling close friends who have all been very supportive.
However I've no regrets taking them whatsoever, although I thought it may be a co-incidence that my anxiety is a great deal better the sceptical person I am!
As you said Steveo, I too am not normally a depressed person whatsoever, in a way it would be an easier decision whether to start taking them if you knew you were...X

steveo1980

18-09-10, 19:05

Coincidence, LOL!

steveo1980

21-09-10, 17:15

Still had okay and manageable days since... a few blips here and there and still thinking about it far too much but, not as bad as normally - think this might be a record for feeling okay...

Not what i would call my normal self, but manageable atleast.

Have an appt with GP tomorrow to discuss, even though they don't obviously have the answers and it is up to us to decide regarding meds.

happycamper

21-09-10, 17:47

Good news you're doing ok Steveo, fingers crossed it will stay that way for you.

Just a probing question if that's ok, you started taking cit for presumably what we all end up taking it for I guess, but why did you stick on 10mg if they say 20 is the theraputic dose and what made you decide to stop taking them - reason I ask is how does someone know when the right time to stop them is and do you feel that time isn't always right if it's common to have to restart them again....sorry if I sound waffly but I'm curious to peoples experiences as I haven't got to the wanting to stop taking them them stage and not sure how I'll know when to...?

steveo1980

21-09-10, 20:26

I stuck on 10mg because I didn't want to rely on the tablets as i never used to need them before the anxiety gold hold of me...if that makes sense. Probably not the best frame of mind to be in, but hey.

I stopped taking them because i wasn't really sure how i was feeling to be honest... i wasn't feeling anywhere near as i wanted so i decided i needed to either up the dose to 20mg and possibly more, or reduce it... i felt a lot less anxiousthan at the start but felt a little numb/possibly a little depressed (a constant monday morning feeling). My anxiety was increased a lot due to the side effects at the start. I suffered with this quite a lot and thought i was going mad.

It hasn't been an easy ride so far at all and a lot of times i wish i'd have increased instead of stopping, but hey! I thought i'd try it as i never needed them before...

Maybe it was a good decision, maybe not. Only time will tell :whistles:

Hopefully it will be an excellent decision.

happycamper

21-09-10, 21:01

kibbutz83

21-09-10, 21:13

Hi Steveo1980, I've been on and off ad's so many times since my son was born ( he's now 17 ) I personally see them as a sticking plaster for a broken leg :( They can't heal anxiety or a brain chemistry imbalance, all they can do is mask it :( I always found that within a few days of coming off them I actually felt worse :( I tend not to believe GP's anymore, most of them don't have a clue what's really going on inside us-we should know that if we just take time to "listen" to our bodies :) x

eternally optimistic

21-09-10, 21:22

Hi

Personally for me, citalopram was an immense help.

Still have "moments" but made me stronger and got me out of a hole.

Good luck with how you to decide to tackle this "thing".

steveo1980

22-09-10, 12:22

Fair enough, all tough decisions for many people and there may be no absolute right solution.

So am I right in saying you never felt your anxiety was helped as you would have hoped taking the 10mg and the way they made you feel is what is making the decision difficult whether to restart taking them?

I agree they give a numb sort of feeling and I've never struggled to get up in a morning as I have since taking them, but on them now as much as I don't want to be, however think they've helped, just do wonder what'll happen when I stop though.

Good to read posts like yours!

I think my anxiety was definitely helped after the initial increase the cit gave me, but i still didn't feel where i wanted to be. I thought that the tablets had levelled me out (unless i'd done this myself), but i felt as though they were stopping me from being happy, possibly levelling me out too much.

This is when I decided I needed to either increase or decrease and being the person I am and used to be, decrease was the choice.
Last week it wasn't the right choice but this week it is.

I've started taking Equazen(sp) Omega 3 tablets and also purchased some 5 HTP that I have read some amazing reviews about.

steveo1980

22-09-10, 12:22

Hi

Personally for me, citalopram was an immense help.

Still have "moments" but made me stronger and got me out of a hole.

Good luck with how you to decide to tackle this "thing".

Excellent news!!

Are you still taking Cit now? This is exactly what people need to read; 'immense'help :D

JaneC

22-09-10, 12:46

I noticed my husband's mental state had deteriorated badly a few months ago. The doc upped his cit by 10mg and it's made a world of difference.

steveo1980

22-09-10, 12:53

I noticed my husband's mental state had deteriorated badly a few months ago. The doc upped his cit by 10mg and it's made a world of difference.

Also great news. What mg is he on now?

JaneC

22-09-10, 12:57

IIRC he went up from 30 to 40mg, Steve. He does have underlying health issues, though.

steveo1980

22-09-10, 13:58

If it works for him, thats great news... Long may it continue!

happycamper

23-09-10, 14:27

I'd love to know how Equazen, Omega 3 and 5 HTP work in helping the mind, going to have to google that now, not sure what 5 HTP is actually...
I do recall articles about Omega 3 improving concentration and behaviour in children, tried my 4 year old son on it but no way he'll take it - disgusting!
Hoping your days are remaining good ones Steveo.

steveo1980

23-09-10, 14:54

Equazen is Omega 3 I have bought from Boots - it is supposed to be good.

5 HTP is talked about in the Natural remedies section. I found a link but can't find it now and people were talking about it like a miracle drug... I'll see if I can find it again and post up later.

Had a really good day yesterday but not so today - trying my best not to let it get to me.

Hope you're doing well.

Here it is... http://www.revolutionhealth.com/drugs-treatments/rating/5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-for-depression?sort=effect

Appears people like it for depression.

happycamper

23-09-10, 16:05

Thank you Steveo, very enlightening.

Sorry you're not having as good day, tomorrow will be here soon:)

I did see you said you weren't fully committed to the 5 HTP and caused more anxiety? Any change of opinion...?

Also just wondered what you thought of the CBT? I know this is your thread about restarting cit sorry, but just wondering why it is many people don't seem to recover despite taking cit, CBT etc etc. I'm so hopeful of sorting my head out and no longer live with simmering anxiety by a combination of cit, seeing a clinical psychologist and reading loads on things such as mindfulness meditation, self help stuff but realistically wonder if it might not happen that easily...

Anyway, best not be negative ey. X

steveo1980

23-09-10, 16:44

Have been feeling better but not sure if is the HTP or not. Have CERTAINLY had a better week this week, even though we convince ourself not.

I actually went to a hypnotherapist who supposedley merged CBT in with it. It seemed good and relaxing but again, i'm not sure how much it worked.

I think many people do recover but you do not obviously see the posts on here because as soon as they feel better, you want to forget about all of the negativity. I can think of 2 people who were on here quite a bit and now aren't; Raindog and Dragonsblonde I think...

I did have about a month away from reading this site but eventually came back for further reading and wisdom...

Keep positive because that is what a lot of it is all about i think... habit and how to break it. If you are like me and never used to suffer severe anxiety (i've always had a little, but it was manageable) then i do not see why we can not be back to being perfectly normal again :shades:

happycamper

23-09-10, 17:34

Positive is an important word to cling onto and yes I too have observed peeps who've been on here and gone such as Raindog, I don't suppose you can move forward if you stay on sites like this when you're nearer to recovering or just need to shove it to the back of your mind.

I've had days and weeks not being active on the forum, personally I haven't the confidence to advise other than on cit related posts, the odd health post being a nurse but ever so cautiously.

Yes anxiety wasn't a problem I had either for the first 35 years of my life, worrying was but that's manageable, certainly less debilitating. And I guess like yourself major life stressors of moving house, babies, marriage, job changes, serious family illnesses etc triggered it off big time, quite overwhelming the months before breaking down at the doctors.

Now interestingly the type of therapy I've been lucky enough to receive has dug very deeply into my childhood, no surprise there I guess!

Love to hear what finally helps you if anything.

4 months ago I was the only person in the world going through this! X

steveo1980

24-09-10, 08:56

'if anything', come on HC, where has that positivity gone to :).

Hope you are doing okay!

I'm going to try and take a bit of timeout from here at the moment, to stop me from reading any negative posts as i really think i have had the best week in probably about 6 months! I still try to find faults in it etc, but inside, i know i have been better than recently and the more i can stop thinking about 'it', the better. I may just pop back for this thread. I was really low last Wednesday night but have had better days since... maybe it is the 5 HTP???

Speak soon and keep up the positivity!

happycamper

25-09-10, 10:36

Very positive - always! (?) I didn't mean if anything negatively, just might be that in the end you don't need anything in particular to feel better:)

Any further thoughts on the 5 HTP?
Hope the good week continues for you Steveo.

steveo1980

15-11-10, 13:09

I don't visit here often at the moment as I feel as though too much reading is not good for us...

I'm still off my pills and even though I have had some horrible moments whilst wanting to find a miracle pill again, my good spells do seem to be getting better and longer!

I just wanted to post the following link (not sure if i'm allowed to) as the question on the blog (How long to get rid...) sums it all up for me; http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/

Here's to hoping that my positive days continue and that everyone else's do aswell. Maybe one day we'll all be back to normal!! :)

Dragonsblonde

15-11-10, 16:47

Hey Steve

Just popped in after ages away and noticed my name in your thread lol

It's true I haven't been around a lot lately. Part of that was to do with it being a massively busy time at work and also a decision on my part to try not to focus on my GAD all the time.

Have tried to just integrate it into my life as part of me. I am still on the CIT (started in June 2010), but have been able to stay at 20mg without having to up the dose and to be honest I am doing really well. Have taken on board the counselling and Mindfulness meditation techniques that I have been learning and I do notice that if I am bad and skip any of it I notice it now. Am half way through a course of CBT online, with weekly support phone calls.

The CBT is interesting, some of the things strike a real chord with me and others don't, but that is the point of it I think. We are not all the same so will take different things from it, but am pleased that it has started to highlight with me why I get caught in certain thought cycles.

My counsellor said one thing that particularly hit home with me, which was that your mind is like a family that lives side by side. You have the fatherly figure that takes care of things, a bossy older sister that takes care of situations that we have to be agressive in etc etc etc. And a little sibling who is scared or frightened of things. When we ignore that little one eventually they crack and scream at us for attention! I realised that I was so busy being organised, helpful, brave and strong that my little one had to scream for attention and I broke. Now I try to listen to all the *family* as every part of me needs attention and caring I guess

Will stop rambling now lol. I currently have agreed with my GP to continue on the meds as I am until next Feb and then assess how I feel and have completed the CBT and other bits. If I feel ready then I will try to reduce the medication and see how that goes.

Hope all is well with you

happycamper

15-11-10, 21:13

Hi Steveo,

Good to hear you're doing ok at the moment:)

You're right in that too much reading isn't good, however I do find reading things like how trying to get rid of and avoid stress and anxiety, rather than accepting it, isn't the best way of managing it, this has enlightened me very much, I would have instinctively tried to avoid stress at all costs knowing the way my body would react and by reading around anxiety personally is helpful to me.

The blog is great, a fellow Yorkshire person who's written it too! I've just had a book delivered called 'The Mindful Manifesto' by Dr Jonty Heaversedge and Ed Halliwell - How doing less and noticing more can help us thrive in a stressed-out world. It looks like it's really good from what I've read so far.

If you come across anything else useful please post it.

Clare X

steveo1980

16-11-10, 13:49

Hi both, thanks for your replies.

I found the blog very good and i could certainly relate to it, 100%! I read it quite often but avoid some of the comments.

I have found that my longer periods are definitely geting better, even though the anxiety is still there and pops up... when feeling good, the thoughts can just be forgotten about. However, when feeling down, they obviously linger longer.

I think my anxiety has made me assess my feeling too much and to want to be 100% perfect all of the time, even though no one feels perfect all of the time. We all have to remind ourselves of this I think.

At the moment, I am grateful for the postive days I have had of late and LONG may they continue!

When my anxiety is there, I still get tingling and pins and needles, but when feeling good, none of the symptoms are there. The problem is, the symptoms then remind me and get me into the circle.

Anyway, hope you are both doing well and feeling a lot better than you have been! Here's to us all getting back to normal!

happycamper

17-11-10, 16:20

Hey Steveo,

I think my anxiety has made me assess my feeling too much and to want to be 100% perfect all of the time, even though no one feels perfect all of the time. We all have to remind ourselves of this I think.

I agree with you to some extent. Six months ago I'd had horrible chronic anxiety for 4 years or so and the typical physical symptoms accompanying it, however I didn't realise that it was anxiety I had, don't ask me what I thought it was - feels like a blur now.

But since I've realised what it is and accepted it, I feel so much more empowered in helping myself get better, am arming myself with information about anxiety and self help strategies and in a way it's taken over my life and like you I'm assessing how I feel a lot of the time. But in my mind it's a way of having control in that I know what it is, I know I'm not going to die because of it but I want to get deep inside how my mind works, why it does what it does and try and take charge of it rather than it take charge of me. I feel strangely liberated but challenged, I'm empowered but it takes a lot of power.

I wonder if I make any sense, that's come straight off the top of my head but it's a way of sharing what I think is a positive spin on what you said...??

Clare X

NoPoet

18-11-10, 22:41

steveo1980

19-11-10, 11:11

I'd always say to someone who was worrying about whether or not to take the medication - stop looking at the pill and get it down you. You won't get anywhere in life until you start doing things that scare you. What's scarier, spending a few weeks having possible side effects and then starting to feel better, or staying as you are now for months or years?

The early days of recovery are not a nice walk through the countryside - it's more like walking across hot coals. So take your shoes and socks off, hitch your trousers up and run like f--k!

I did the pills route for a few months but decided to come off them as i was in limbo... increase or reduce.

I've had very low lows but also some very good days. Probably had the best week for ages last week, only for it to slowly diminish since posting here recently.

My theory is that by thinking about it so much, i'm feeding the anxiety monster. I know enough about what it is and I don't think I need to know anything else about it, only how to get rid of it permanently!? The more I read or talk and think about it the more I remind myself of the horrible feelings I have when not feeling good.

The problem with reading for me is that it makes me feel better for a bit but it doesn't last.

I know last week was a positive week and that shall hopefully return. I was only on 10mg of Cit but I have had better days off it than on (i think!)

Dragonsblonde

23-11-10, 12:24

I think you have to be realistic about all things I think. I am having a bit of a blip at the moment, past couple of days I have been having the odd anxious thought and burning in my arms etc.. I have found it quite a shock to be honest after feeling so well for a while and it is hard to adjust I find.

I admit myself that I have slipped backwards into some bad habits and spending time alone, not keeping up with my meditation and all the other things that help. It is easy to do these things when you are feeling ill and much harder to keep up when you are feeling better. Hopefully the blip will pass.

I think however that we all need to accept that some anxiety is normal in our lives and we can't eradicate it totally, just learn how to build it into our lives and not let it control us.