i funtion,no panic, so why this cloud?!what is wrong with me!!!

[holly23]

hiya. things have been bad for about 2weeks now. i had been better for a week and a half and felt better than ever,.
i cant describe what im going through....im functioning, laughing, getting on with everyday life and no panics but there is like a lingering cloud that feels over whelming!!!! ive woken up the past 2 mornings crying badly. i would have thought id be happy at the moment. i preferred when i had the occasional panic and ups and down cause at least there were ups!!! now it feels like im spaced out, always got a thought in the back of my mind and just floating through life. it feels depressing. ive had to start so many threads recently cause everything been getting worse. ! i start back to uni again in a week., and im still where i left off when i dropped out of the end of the year. i keep getting flash backs to my childhood, and smells in the air make me feel scared as they remind me of past things...not even bad past memories....why is this i wonder???
something going round my head recently is how im not a kid anymore, everyone in my family is getting older!, im the youngest of 4 girls, they all seem so grown up. im 23 and terrified of that but i dont know why?...i wanna cry all the time!! i just want to get on with life, its going so fast and prob feels like that because all i do with mine is WORRY and fear everything. all of its so sereal.
anyone out there know what i mean. ? im just having such random thoughts...today i got freaked out by a photo of me. how does it capture life that ive already lived and we see it again!!.lol.. weird.
have i lost my mind? or am i just starting to feel better so im finding things to worry about? i cant do it anymore! why is it so impossible to just be, and stop thinking. xplease, if anyone can help id be grateful. xx

[paula lynne]

I just want to say hi, Im Paula, new here, and you are not alone. x I cant comment on the particular problems you are goiung through, but wanted to say Im sure you will be ok, and youll get posts very soon from people who do understand. Hang on in there. You are not alone xx:hugs:

[DavidJ85]

Wow the smells thing can really hit home with me. Whem I'm at my most anxious a smell that "shouldn't" be there (OCD) really worries me. I also get the flashbacks to random past thoughts and wonder they've popped in there and that worries me too.

I feel exactly the same, I function and push myself but it's still there and I want it to go! Have you been to see your doc? Always worth a go!

[Heaven_Scent]

I know how you feel. Im 30 soon and i keep thinking that time is going really fast and miss things and think about things that have happened in years gone by, it makes me sad. Its like im stuck, if that makes sense? Its like you cant turn off.Xx

[holly23]

exactly. :)..,. i felt better today but now im getting ready to go out for the night im feeling crap again. all i wanna do is sit in and cry with a good movie..lol... why i dont know!! is this depression a form of my anxiety i wonder or a sign thats its coming out and going. i start uni again on monday!!...im so upset about it. im doing performing so the worst thing when your an anxious person. lol... at this point i just want to drop out but i know what everyone will say...and ive worked to hard already...ahhhhh!!!!