holly23
15-09-10, 19:52
hiya. things have been bad for about 2weeks now. i had been better for a week and a half and felt better than ever,.
i cant describe what im going through....im functioning, laughing, getting on with everyday life and no panics but there is like a lingering cloud that feels over whelming!!!! ive woken up the past 2 mornings crying badly. i would have thought id be happy at the moment. i preferred when i had the occasional panic and ups and down cause at least there were ups!!! now it feels like im spaced out, always got a thought in the back of my mind and just floating through life. it feels depressing. ive had to start so many threads recently cause everything been getting worse. ! i start back to uni again in a week., and im still where i left off when i dropped out of the end of the year. i keep getting flash backs to my childhood, and smells in the air make me feel scared as they remind me of past things...not even bad past memories....why is this i wonder???
something going round my head recently is how im not a kid anymore, everyone in my family is getting older!, im the youngest of 4 girls, they all seem so grown up. im 23 and terrified of that but i dont know why?...i wanna cry all the time!! i just want to get on with life, its going so fast and prob feels like that because all i do with mine is WORRY and fear everything. all of its so sereal.
anyone out there know what i mean. ? im just having such random thoughts...today i got freaked out by a photo of me. how does it capture life that ive already lived and we see it again!!.lol.. weird.
have i lost my mind? or am i just starting to feel better so im finding things to worry about? i cant do it anymore! why is it so impossible to just be, and stop thinking. xplease, if anyone can help id be grateful. xx
i cant describe what im going through....im functioning, laughing, getting on with everyday life and no panics but there is like a lingering cloud that feels over whelming!!!! ive woken up the past 2 mornings crying badly. i would have thought id be happy at the moment. i preferred when i had the occasional panic and ups and down cause at least there were ups!!! now it feels like im spaced out, always got a thought in the back of my mind and just floating through life. it feels depressing. ive had to start so many threads recently cause everything been getting worse. ! i start back to uni again in a week., and im still where i left off when i dropped out of the end of the year. i keep getting flash backs to my childhood, and smells in the air make me feel scared as they remind me of past things...not even bad past memories....why is this i wonder???
something going round my head recently is how im not a kid anymore, everyone in my family is getting older!, im the youngest of 4 girls, they all seem so grown up. im 23 and terrified of that but i dont know why?...i wanna cry all the time!! i just want to get on with life, its going so fast and prob feels like that because all i do with mine is WORRY and fear everything. all of its so sereal.
anyone out there know what i mean. ? im just having such random thoughts...today i got freaked out by a photo of me. how does it capture life that ive already lived and we see it again!!.lol.. weird.
have i lost my mind? or am i just starting to feel better so im finding things to worry about? i cant do it anymore! why is it so impossible to just be, and stop thinking. xplease, if anyone can help id be grateful. xx