So fed up will i be normal again?

[HazG]

A litttle about me i have nvere had health problems i am 50 yeras old untill this year,!
Dec 24th we were told my mum had bowel cancer after all the tests the GP rang and asked me to be at mums house on xmas eve and we were told the news,the next few weeks were eventful and on 31st jan this year mum passed away,it was a horrible time we watched her go in hospital:weep:
Watching your mum dying is not nice! then ont he the wed after i started with sickness i am never sick even my family were like mums never sick, got myself through the funeral and then bang.... i felt awful sick coulnd't eat,shaking,not sleeping pain everywhere, loss of weight!went to my Gp and he orderd full blood count that was normal in may this year,he told me i was depressed and this was causing my symptoms,and can say i have never felt the same since i feel like my life has been takne over everyday there is something new to worry about,chest pain,sickness,in the early days i was convinced i had bowel cancer as my IBS was so bad,but the GP but it all down to stress,i have had a few good weeks then its back,the latest is pain under my left brest bone and sickness oh and not forgetting the indigestion!

I am begining to think i will never be normal again i just want my life back as it was, i stress about everything at the moment.
Sorry to go on but flet i needed to get it out :blush:

[Desprate Dan]

Oh HazG, I am so very sorry to hear what you are going through and what you have been through, but i thought i need to reply as that could of been me writing your thread.. I like you was hardly ever sick, then one day i felt awful, felt my legs were going to give way from underneath me, shaking felt sick lost my appetite completely, had to force myself to eat to stay alive, I lost my dad to cancer and i had a lump which i had for years but was to scared to see the doctor and it festered away in my mind, well you know what i convinced myself that all these symptoms that i was getting was cancer and i was about to die, which in turn set off major panic attacks, until i could take no more, i had to seek help.. When my doctor said depression and anxiety i thought it cant be?? surely it can't make you feel this ill? how wrong, i told him about the lump he examined me and said it was a harmless cyst, over 10 years of worry every day... I am still not fully better but i am able to get by, at the moment stress/anxiety is so high and my IBS is playing up terribly.. I really wish you all the best, you are not alone.. DD

[LiquidSky]

Hi HazG, anxiety is horrible, sorry to hear about your mum, the symptoms you are describing are very typical of anxiety, unfortunately it also magnifies or rather concentrates thoughts towards ourselves too. I remember when I was younger I'd get the odd pain in my chest and wouldn't think anything of it at all, now, suffering from anxiety, I only need to get a tingle somewhere in my body and my mind is all over it, "what is that", "never felt it before", "should I be concerned? I think I should be concerned", these questions go through my head every day, and I've had all the tests possible and all normal, I also get a lot of indigestion and that's not surprising as I know I tense up a lot all the time. You're not alone and I know you'll find some calming posts on here and some very lovely people who are going through what you're going through.
There's a lot of us out there

[kittykat]

Hi HazG,

My mum had bowel cancer also, it will be 2yrs on the 28th of this month since she died,( although it was a botched up op that killed her causing septicemia, and we too watched mum die in hospital a mere 5 days after the first op) so i can relate to how your feeling. Thin k it was the shock that made my HA go into overdrive after she died , had everything done and had a sample taken to make sure i didnt have what she had needless to say it did come back clear as the doctor thought it would im 38, but the stress of everything was so overwhelming. Its early days for you as well and although sometimes you dont feel depressed you can be as if your like me you try to hold everything in and just cope.Health Anxiety loves us all for that and causes so many frightening symptoms. I'm sure in time you'll start to feel like things are getting better, i cant tell you when though,as i still struggle and miss my mum everyday as she was my best friend, but if you ever need to chat please dont hesitate to pm me . Take care xx

[HazG]

Thankyou everyone.

KittyKat my mum died 5 days after too the opp went well but the after mouth of it all she just couldn't cope at 83..bless her.

I am glad i am not alone sometimes i feel like i am falling apart,trying to cope with the next sympton thats going to occur :doh:
Would things ahve showed up in the blood tests if i had anything wrong with me?

[kittykat]

Yes.....blood tests are a good marker for anything wrong x

[bronte]

hi hazg i know how you feel i had to watch my mum die of cancer she was 68 yrs old a very young one at that we were so close we lived next door to each other i also lost my dad with cancer at 54 yrs ive always had a terrible phobia about cancer which as been worse since losing mum i too have ibs and convinced ive got bowel cancer at the moment due to bowel cramps and so bloated it feels like i have a football stuck under my left ribs im also finding it hard to go to the loo which has set my piles off sorry tmi so am getting blood as well another sign of bowel cancer but my doc says its ibs and internal piles but i cant be reasured so sorry your feeling bad as well we will get through it i hope x

[trolleydolly]

hi hazg
i too have been though this in june 2008 i watched my mum die from lung cancer it was devastating
ive always suffered from anxiety but i coped really well but once mums house was sold and everything sorted out by febuary 2009 thats when the health anxiety started its terrible its left me too scared to go to the doctors in case i have something awful you are doing the right thing by seeing your doctor and not leaving it like i have done

[panicynan]

Hi Haxg so much in common!I was 50 earlier in the year my mam had alzhiemers, was 87 took ill on the friday died on the morning of my 50th birthday had been with her as much as i could and was there when she died .The same week had a wedding to go to where my 8mt pregnant daughter was maid of honour.I have severe anxiety ,ongoing problems with agoraphobia and take antidepressants(apart from that im alright:blush:)wedding on the friday daughter takes ill on sat told she has a water infection anyway after much palava sent to hospital for antibiotics told shes 6cms dilated has baby on sun afternoon. There was a few problems but a week later new baby had to attend great grans funeral.I coped brilliantly but now im sad not depressed just sad i miss her and how do you define normal?Ill never feel the same way as i did before all this started-my probs started in my twenties with the sudden death of my dad-but im normal for me.Give yourself a break go with these feelings at this time,you have the right to grieve bottling things up makes things worse.you cope at the time its after we need a bit of tlc and your body reacts.please message me if you want to chat x