Gareth
17-09-10, 14:07
Hi all,
Before my question, here’s a summary about me for some context…
My "anxiety" symptoms are all physical / neurological, and have been since my nightmare started about 14 months ago. They have got steadily and gradually worse ever since then, with no remissions.
I did go through a period of relationship stress just before my symptoms kicked in. And I was working very hard at my job. I did have what I recognise as "anxiety" at that time. But that resolved a long time ago and I have never felt well since, and have just been getting worse.
I have constant "neurological" type sensations and problems. I walk very unsteadily, my feet clatter onto the floor really hard and I pull to the left while walking. My right leg feels heavy and unresponsive and seems to turn inwards slightly. It takes massive concentration to walk in a straight line and not stumble too much.
I feel very weak in my legs, I get up slowly from a seated position and it takes me a little while to steady myself before moving. My hands and arms are very weak, to the point where I find it difficult to hold a book up when in bed. I have constant aches and pains in my hands, arms and shoulders and neck.
Recently the little finger on my left hand has gone numb and unresponsive, this has been happening for just over a week now. It feels like it is so weak it is virtually useless. The dexterity I used to have in my hands is gone, they feel like useless plates of meat.
I have eye symptoms – blinking eyelids, pain and strange sensations when moving eyes, double vision when turning my eyes rapidly to look at something, blurry vision in one eye when working at a computer.
I am constantly foggy in my head, confused, unable to concentrate. I have very tight facial and scalp muscles and often am having to scrunch my face up to release some of the tension. I have constant sensations which move around my body; a numbness on the side of my face for a few hours will turn into dizziness for a while, will turn into twitches in my calf muscles, and on and on and on and on.
I have had a huge amount of muscle tension in the past across my body but don’t really feel that that is so much of a problem anymore, I do stretches to combat that now and am generally much more relaxed in myself than I have been for a very long time. Being relaxed however, has not produced a remission in symptoms, they continue to get worse, which again makes me question the “anxiety” tag.
So, with all these symptoms, of course you all know already what I am worried about. The progression of my illness and the fact that it is seemingly now unrelated to any anxiety of the past, makes me believe that I have some form of disorder of the central nervous system or spine, such as MS or Ataxia or ALS or something along those lines. I am actually not THAT terrified of MS. It’s not the worst thing that can happen to a person, and there are treatments to help manage symptoms. I just want to know what is wrong with me.
My GP has finally agreed to a neurologist appt, but tells me to expect a wait of "several months". What on earth am I meant to do in the meantime? I feel fairly calm about the whole thing now, I have worried for so long about my health that I don’t really care anymore what is wrong with me, I just want answers. Even if this is MS there will surely be some things I can do to help myself feel a little better and at least I can reach out to a community of other sufferers to get their ideas on how they help themselves. I just want answers.
So onto the question / the reaching out for help bit…
Really I am looking to talk to anyone whose anxiety physical symptoms ever got so bad that they lost the ability to function / to walk / to move / whatever. I feel this is happening to me in my body - I find walking incredibly difficult now and am going to look to buy a cane this weekend to see if it will give me some stability. Has anyone ever experienced, or heard of anyone who experienced, symptoms like these that eventually made the person actually physically disabled or prevented them from moving? I’ve heard of people getting bed-bound by anxiety, as they convince themselves they are so ill that their body actually can’t move.
Anyway, I’d love some ideas / thoughts from you guys. I have hoped for a long time that this is “anxiety” related but its gone on too long, and is too far away from any genuine anxiety in my life now that I think I need to face up to a different diagnosis.
Thanks and hope you’re all having as OK day as possible today,
Gareth
Before my question, here’s a summary about me for some context…
My "anxiety" symptoms are all physical / neurological, and have been since my nightmare started about 14 months ago. They have got steadily and gradually worse ever since then, with no remissions.
I did go through a period of relationship stress just before my symptoms kicked in. And I was working very hard at my job. I did have what I recognise as "anxiety" at that time. But that resolved a long time ago and I have never felt well since, and have just been getting worse.
I have constant "neurological" type sensations and problems. I walk very unsteadily, my feet clatter onto the floor really hard and I pull to the left while walking. My right leg feels heavy and unresponsive and seems to turn inwards slightly. It takes massive concentration to walk in a straight line and not stumble too much.
I feel very weak in my legs, I get up slowly from a seated position and it takes me a little while to steady myself before moving. My hands and arms are very weak, to the point where I find it difficult to hold a book up when in bed. I have constant aches and pains in my hands, arms and shoulders and neck.
Recently the little finger on my left hand has gone numb and unresponsive, this has been happening for just over a week now. It feels like it is so weak it is virtually useless. The dexterity I used to have in my hands is gone, they feel like useless plates of meat.
I have eye symptoms – blinking eyelids, pain and strange sensations when moving eyes, double vision when turning my eyes rapidly to look at something, blurry vision in one eye when working at a computer.
I am constantly foggy in my head, confused, unable to concentrate. I have very tight facial and scalp muscles and often am having to scrunch my face up to release some of the tension. I have constant sensations which move around my body; a numbness on the side of my face for a few hours will turn into dizziness for a while, will turn into twitches in my calf muscles, and on and on and on and on.
I have had a huge amount of muscle tension in the past across my body but don’t really feel that that is so much of a problem anymore, I do stretches to combat that now and am generally much more relaxed in myself than I have been for a very long time. Being relaxed however, has not produced a remission in symptoms, they continue to get worse, which again makes me question the “anxiety” tag.
So, with all these symptoms, of course you all know already what I am worried about. The progression of my illness and the fact that it is seemingly now unrelated to any anxiety of the past, makes me believe that I have some form of disorder of the central nervous system or spine, such as MS or Ataxia or ALS or something along those lines. I am actually not THAT terrified of MS. It’s not the worst thing that can happen to a person, and there are treatments to help manage symptoms. I just want to know what is wrong with me.
My GP has finally agreed to a neurologist appt, but tells me to expect a wait of "several months". What on earth am I meant to do in the meantime? I feel fairly calm about the whole thing now, I have worried for so long about my health that I don’t really care anymore what is wrong with me, I just want answers. Even if this is MS there will surely be some things I can do to help myself feel a little better and at least I can reach out to a community of other sufferers to get their ideas on how they help themselves. I just want answers.
So onto the question / the reaching out for help bit…
Really I am looking to talk to anyone whose anxiety physical symptoms ever got so bad that they lost the ability to function / to walk / to move / whatever. I feel this is happening to me in my body - I find walking incredibly difficult now and am going to look to buy a cane this weekend to see if it will give me some stability. Has anyone ever experienced, or heard of anyone who experienced, symptoms like these that eventually made the person actually physically disabled or prevented them from moving? I’ve heard of people getting bed-bound by anxiety, as they convince themselves they are so ill that their body actually can’t move.
Anyway, I’d love some ideas / thoughts from you guys. I have hoped for a long time that this is “anxiety” related but its gone on too long, and is too far away from any genuine anxiety in my life now that I think I need to face up to a different diagnosis.
Thanks and hope you’re all having as OK day as possible today,
Gareth