going back to uni..dont know how to cope..so confused!!

[holly23]

hi.
i go back to uni tomorrow and im so depressed by it. my boyfriend has been down for a week and its been so nice. he left this morning. i have felt better than EVER since thursday night when we went out and seemed to sort out all our issues. i cant describe how relieving it has been to not feel anxious.!.:) im waiting for it to come back though. what if tomorrow is the day it does! ill be at uni, performing es there will be no escape! thats the fear! no one there has it like me so therefore cannot understand! also my summer has been so miserable that now things are a bit better i am not ready to go back to stressful things. im so tempted to drop out but everyone will think im a failure. although im not feeling anxious right now i still feel like im just floating sadly through life. i fear i will be anxious later and i know that is the bad circle of thinking but i cant help it. !! also, things going back to normal is making me feel ..not normal. its silly. i pray for a normal life then when i get it i think about being anxious!! i will have to start going to see my boyfriend every other weekend again and i hate where he lives. his friends all do drugs, even he does sometimes. i cant bare it. when i go there its going to bring back to many memories unless i try a make new ones? ...aahhhhh my brain is working over time!!!!
i would love to just be excited about uni and getting a normal life again but im afraid.i suppose the moment i break this habbit and stop preparing for panic it might come unexpectedly.:(
sorry i may not be making sense but this is how my mind feels...can anyone help?? xx
thanks.x

[CrazyCatLady]

How did your first day go Holly? Are you on any treatment at the moment to help you through?

Being prepared for anxiety is ok, worrying about it constantly can make it worse. You need to find your balance, and that takes time.

[ellie_C_mason1990]

i am exactly like you, i have managed to control it for the last few days by un packing but deep down i am terrified :(

i find listening to some good music or watching a dvd helps take my mind off it for a bit.

its so annoying, like you, my summer has been miserable and i dont want to go back to stress... i am ringing uni counselling tommorow

[Rachel424]

I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling Holly, it's prefectly natural to feel anxious in your situation. I was fortunate enough to live at home while I did my under-graduate degree, but I went on to do a post-graduate degree which required to move away from home and I was terrified. But somehow I managed to get through it. Please don't think about dropping out of university, I'm sure you will regret it later in life. One option if things get really bad is to transfer to another university which is closer to home and commute in. My partner decided to do this after his first year at university and he's never looked back. I suppose it all depends on where you live and what universities are in your area, but it's something to think about. Good luck and take care. Rachelx

[Nigel H]

Holly - you need to understand that Anxiety is a signal that you are not focussing on what you want, rather you are focussing on what you do not want. And 'preparing for anxiety' when things are going well right now, is a good example of that sense of focus!

Spend time contemplating what it is you want INSTEAD of the thing you are anxious about and how to go about achieving THAT.

I would also suggest that dropping out is not the answer! Learn to deal with your anxiety (or rather not creating it) and then move on ....

If you drop out you will take it with you .....

Ever heard the phrase ..... "Wherever you go ..... there you are !" or "Wherever you go, you take YOU with you....."

So deal with the underlying behaviour and then take a fresh, contented you wherever you go.

Nig