tiredzombie
19-09-10, 15:31
I recently got back from a short break, during which I found that I actually felt fairly normal, and ok with myself, for the first time in years. But as soon as we drove through my home town, I got that sinking feeling in my gut, and it's like my whole outlook changed. Suddenly I was back to feeling defensive and bad about myself, and wanting to hide away.
In the week since then I found myself feeling increasingly bad. I've tried to resist letting it take over my mind again, but it's too hard, and it's not something I can take 24/7. It's gradually wearing me down.
I want to find some way of sorting it before I become depressed again, and forget what it's like to feel ok, and lose my motivation to try things.
But I don't know what to try (and researching it is making me feel worse). I found this anxiety retreat (http://www.anxietyrecoveryretreat.co.uk/index.html)thing online, but it looks like it's trying a bit hard to sell itself, and even if it were genuine I fear I would just be getting stuff I've tried in the past but in a much more expensive setting.
I've tried things like CBT before (both on my own and with a therapist), and didn't find it particularly helpful, although maybe I didn't stick with it for long enough/understand it properly. But I don't find that increasing exposure to situations that make me particularly anxious reduces the anxiety over long periods of time, or that monitoring and adapting my conscious thoughts during those times stops me from feeling anxious. It might stop things from getting quite as bad, but it doesn't seem to make them any better either. It's like I get the feelings irrespective of what I'm thinking. Some of the analysis exercises I have are quite useful for convincing yourself not to avoid things, but they don't stop the anxiety at all.
I've had person-centred therapy, and although that seems to make me feel much better in the short term, it also seems to wear off pretty quick, and I don't think it really resolved anything.
I've been doing relaxtion techniques, like breathing control. That seems to help a little bit with the physical symptoms, but it doesn't seem to have any lasting effect, and I can't be bothered with it for more than 10 minutes or so at a time. Muscle relaxation seems to work quite well for getting to sleep, but doesn't seem to have much lasting effect during the day.
Anybody got any similar experiences/advice?
In the week since then I found myself feeling increasingly bad. I've tried to resist letting it take over my mind again, but it's too hard, and it's not something I can take 24/7. It's gradually wearing me down.
I want to find some way of sorting it before I become depressed again, and forget what it's like to feel ok, and lose my motivation to try things.
But I don't know what to try (and researching it is making me feel worse). I found this anxiety retreat (http://www.anxietyrecoveryretreat.co.uk/index.html)thing online, but it looks like it's trying a bit hard to sell itself, and even if it were genuine I fear I would just be getting stuff I've tried in the past but in a much more expensive setting.
I've tried things like CBT before (both on my own and with a therapist), and didn't find it particularly helpful, although maybe I didn't stick with it for long enough/understand it properly. But I don't find that increasing exposure to situations that make me particularly anxious reduces the anxiety over long periods of time, or that monitoring and adapting my conscious thoughts during those times stops me from feeling anxious. It might stop things from getting quite as bad, but it doesn't seem to make them any better either. It's like I get the feelings irrespective of what I'm thinking. Some of the analysis exercises I have are quite useful for convincing yourself not to avoid things, but they don't stop the anxiety at all.
I've had person-centred therapy, and although that seems to make me feel much better in the short term, it also seems to wear off pretty quick, and I don't think it really resolved anything.
I've been doing relaxtion techniques, like breathing control. That seems to help a little bit with the physical symptoms, but it doesn't seem to have any lasting effect, and I can't be bothered with it for more than 10 minutes or so at a time. Muscle relaxation seems to work quite well for getting to sleep, but doesn't seem to have much lasting effect during the day.
Anybody got any similar experiences/advice?