How do you stop the cycle of poking/prodding, and then panicking?

[Nanerpus]

For the entire summer I feel like I have been caught in this horrible cycle of poking/prodding/checking my body for lumps/bumps, finding them, and panicking. Before this summer I never felt for lymph nodes, breast lumps, fatty lumps, what have you. Now, I have had panic attacks about them all, and it seems like everyday I find "something" that I feel is abnormal or huge or not supposed to be there and then I freak out.

I then proceed to poke and prod my poor husband and freak out if I can't feel the same thing on him. He's a good sport, but he gets annoyed eventually.

Currently I am freaking out over my windpipe feeling a bit bigger/more sticking out on one side (the bony cartilage part) and, subsequently a swollen muscle or gland below it that seems to be larger than the one on the side. Dr. Google says I could have a nodule on my thyroid :ohmy:, and all sorts of other stuff. All because I decided to go poking around and analyzing every bump, not because I've had any problems or soreness or symptoms. I had an MD check my neck just a few months ago for my physical, and another check up recently to check a worrysome node in my neck. Both felt there was nothing to be concerned with.

The kicker is, they didn't check this "new" thing I found, and it ALWAYS seems to be that way.

Does anybody have any words of advice for how to stop feeling around so much, or at least approach it with a healthy attitude? My neck is really sore from feeling my trachea so intensely, and I'm all worried now.

[stressbunny]

we are just so self aware sweetie, if anyone started poking and prodding like we do they would have questions...but they dont...it is just us, the anxious

[paula lynne]

Hi there, maybe go back to your doc and tell them about your anxiety of this specif problem/behaviour? ask them to check you where you point too. I hope you find reassurance soon. Anxiety is evil!!:winks: Im sure you will be ok xxxxx:)

[MoonlightFire]

I've had to cut the checking behaviours out completely over the last couple of days because I was driving myself absolutely crazy and I couldn't take it any longer. It's hard but believe me if you just stop ALL your checking behaviours you will feel better within half a day or so. It will make you more anxious to start with but after a few hours you'll start feeling better. Don't look it yourself in the mirror, don't prod or poke, don't scan your body for lumps or marks when you come out of the shower/get dressed/get undressed. It's not easy but what have you got to lose?

I've almost done 3 full days of no checking...I've not looked at my mouth in the mirror or checked my body...I've checked my gums with my tongue a couple of times but that's a massive improvement on the last couple of months. You've just got to be very firm with yourself and say...look, do you want to get better? Stop checking then!...and then just put all your strength into resisting those urges. I've been feeling so much better. Find something to distract you...I've been practising my oboe, watching films, going out with friends and reading the remedies section on here to distract me. The more you poke, prod and check the worse your anxiety will get. Just put your foot down with yourself and say NO MORE!

Good luck with it. Let us know how you get on. Believe me, if you stop the checking you'll start to feel better. Also cut down on how much you think about it too...when you feel those negative thoughts come into your head just say NO to yourself and think about something else straight away...don't give yourself time to grab hold of that negative thought.

Moonlight Xxx

[paula lynne]

Well done Moonlight on....3 days of no poking or prodding xxx:yesyes:

[MoonlightFire]

Yes, I can't believe it! I just got to the end of my patience with it and just told myself to stop. I had to hold my tongue in a different position to stop it from rubbing the sore on my gum for 2 days! Also have been eating on the other side like you said. I just wasnt letting it heal and I was obsessing over it in the mirror to a point where it was stopping me from doing my job...I was in the toilet every 5 seconds...either so I could check my mouth or because I had anxiety tummy! Nightmare. I am so much calmer now!

[MoonlightFire]

I've not looked at it in the mirror for days...fingers crossed it's healed now.

[paula lynne]

BRILLIANT! xxx:)

[daybyday]

If I am not thinking of what I have had, have not, or will have without reason.....I am catastrophizing over a symptom that comes and goes anyway.

Does anyone else feel that there is truth in fearing a symptom can actually bring it on?

[MoonlightFire]

Well, last week I had a sore place on a gum right at the back near the roof of my mouth...I had a look in the mirror as usual and it was a cut...instead of leaving it at that I started panicking and wondering if it was infact a cut (even though I knew it was because I could see it!!!), I then started prodding the area about with my fingers, shoving my mirror and a torch into my mouth and checking it with my tongue constantly. A few days later and voila...the gum a few teeth down from my cut was now inflamed and had blisters on it! I'm pretty sure I brought that on myself...whether it be from the poking about, the torch burning it, the constant rubbing of the area with my tongue or me imagining the worst over and over again, I now had a cold sore inside my mouth!!! It could have been anxiety lowering my immune system or panic bringing on the cold sore...I don't know but somehow I ended up with more mouth symptoms than just a little cut :(

After that I've just HAD to stop thinking about it. I don't want to bring anything else on. I know my mind is powerful and I'm going to stop directing towards my health.

I've also brought on stomach aches a few times and chest pains...oh and leg cramps so bad that I couldnt walk! I think I may even have brought rashes on by fearing them in the past too. Headaches were the first symptom I brought on and that was when I was 13 and in the full grip of a brain tumour fear.

[KJE2282]

I believe that if you concentrate your energy into a particular area of your body - you just become so aware of it. So what was there anyway - and you never realised, you now are aware of and suddenly you think there is something wrong!

I am also struggling with poking and prodding my neck for swollen lymph glands, I am convincing myself they are bigger than they are, or there is something there that perhaps was always there anyway! Not sure how to stop it. I am currently undergoing CBT which I am hoping will help, so far though - it is a huge struggle and it is affecting my relationship with my husband, so I am desperate to stop the vicious cycle.

[CrazyCatLady]

Can your husband help you, Nanerpus? My boyfriend will tell me off like i'm a puppy if i start checking, then immediately distract me with something. I did ask him to, lol! :winks:

Also, is there a particular mirror you use? I always used to check coming out of the shower a lot, and the light in there was so white, i looked ill at the best of times. I never use that mirror now it's covered, and stick to soft light bulbs!

[amandy1979]

Im new to the site, and thought it was just me who poked and prodded, my husband is a bit fed up of it too but tries to be reasuring, currently im worried about lymph glands, breast lumps etc, cant seem to concentrate on anything but worry,

[Nanerpus]

No, Amandy, it's not just you! My throat actually hurts from feeling the structures and comparing them on each side over the last few days, and my entire body has fallen victim to this act this summer. I've worried over bumps down my legs, bumps under the skin in my tummy and sides and arms, lymph nodes in my groin/neck/armpits, breast lumps, etc - I've panicked about all these things this summer and been to the doctor numerous times to get them felt and checked. I don't really know what set it off, but man, has this thing taken hold.

I seem to be doing a little better today - I have felt things but no panicking and I've felt them a lot less. I find that thinking about a few things help me relax a bit:

1. Most of these bumps have probably been there forever but I've never felt them.
2. I would most likely probably know if something was wrong, and don't need to go searching for it.
3. I need to live my life and enjoy it, worrying is not going to change or help anything.
4. DON'T GOOGLE! (Easier said than done).

Sometimes reviewing those truths in my head help me relax and just enjoy life.

Thanks everybody for all of your help and support. You are truly wonderful people.