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Ambers
20-09-10, 21:01
Mainly panic free, a few moments of doubt and worry, some mouth blisters and bad tummy, exhausted but all round a good time!

Wales was very pretty and fresh, although cold brrrr! Can recommend Bluestone (I disliked Centre Parcs and was worried it would be like that - but very quiet, clean and plenty of space). My little boy had a wonderful time - and I am my most happy when he is smiling.

I do have slight OCD (ask my husband and he would say slight doesn't quite describe it - more manic lol) I find this can set of my anxiety and there were a few moments, but generally kept it together by walking away from the situration. I feel sorry for my husband as he has his work cut out trying to keep me happy and fear one day he will break!

The only time panic set in was when I had to deal with a bad tummy and even then I kinda got through it. I think the fact that I have had very little to eat over the past month or so has really had an affect on me now tho - I did feel very weak, and at times felt like just sleeping - which again I find hard relaxing because of this OCD thing I have. Ho hum!

Blood blisters are back, thought the AntiB doc prescribed got rid of them but two days after finishing the course and yep, they have made a grand return.

Started Magnesuim and hoping that will make me stronger, better!!! Due back on the train again tomorrow on my own :ohmy: my husband reckons I am over the worse of the Panic - because I am doing things again - that itself puts pressure on me - because if/when I fail, then I let him down again...and I just want my family to be happy.

Exhausted, and off to sleepy town to replenish energy for tomorrows battle with myself :unsure:

paula lynne
20-09-10, 22:06
HIYA! so glad you had a good time in sunny wales (haha), and felt good most of the time.x you can do the train...tell yourself youve been feeling better and can definately cope with a train journey...let your mind wander back to your holiday and special moments with your little one...and then youll be ready to get off! x:yesyes:

Ambers
21-09-10, 18:28
Thank you Paula. Wales was truely beautiful and you are lucky to live there. Hope you are doing well?

Today wasn't very successful. The train journey was bad. Half way my panic was so bad that I had to call my husband to talk to me. Everyone was looking at me 'the mad woman'...I had to hold back the tears!

Why oh why...I know it is panic, I know what it is doing to my body, but how do I stop myself from passing out??? Because I came so close to it today! Have a bad headache now from the stress of today.

I WANT TO BE NORMAL, SOME ONE SEND ME SOME NORMAL DUST :wacko:

Ambers
21-09-10, 18:50
Thank you Paul, that made me smile :)