Will i ever beat this horrid thing

[becks xxx]

This anxiety is a complete beast! It's just never gonna go away..
Soooo hard ive tryed! Everyone keeps telling me how ive got to do the things i fear for this to go
So i went from being housebound, too scared to leave the house to gradually getting back into school, as it's my last year
This is killing me. Fed up with that dreaded feeling when i wake up, when i need to get ready there's that apprehension about the whole day, just dragging myself through the day, eyes constantly on the clock counting down the time
I no people try to help, telling me i've got to stay positive and what not
How can i stay positive when slowly this stupid thing seems to be wrecking more and more of my life?!
It just seems completely unbeatable. And to top it all off ive now lost my bestfriend, been bestfriends for 13 years!!! an because of the time ive had off, shes moved on an found better ones
My birthday sunday, going to be the worst birthday ever. Just dont know what to do anymore?

[gypsywomen]

have you been to the doctors????????????????/

[becks xxx]

Yeah , i get counselling, it's really helpful. Starting meds soon

[Nigel]

Hi Becks,

“Will i ever beat this horrid thing...”

Yes, course you will :winks:
And a huge WELL DONE!! for getting back into school :)

“Everyone keeps telling me how ive got to do the things i fear for this to go”

And everyone is right, but doing things on ‘your terms’ is what’s important. That doesn’t mean wimping out and not doing things that are a little bit scary, but you don’t want to push things too far.

You see, when somebody tries to push themselves too far, they might manage it but they end up feeling awful. It just reinforces the idea that the situation really was something to feel scared about and they’re no further forward :doh:

So what they need to do is push themselves just a little. It’s ok to feel a bit apprehensive, but you want to return home feeling; “Ok, so I felt a bit nervous buy hey... it was easier than I thought it would be”. Then try it again until it’s easy to do it, and that can become the new ‘normal’. Now try and push yourself a little further, and again say to yourself; “That was a bit harder but it was easier than I thought”. Baby steps is the way.

“My birthday sunday, going to be the worst birthday ever.”

Mine too, and if you’re gonna have the worst one ever then so shall I :meh:
Or shall we both try and make it a good one :yesyes:

Take care,
Nigel

[Fly away Katie]

You did birll to go back to school hun! and the fact that you ARE means that you are better then you were before ;) x x x

[becks xxx]

Nigel what you said is soo true!!!! Also, ive noticed, im always worrying thinking "yeah but what im gonna let everyone down" cos when i have a good week, im proud, everyones proud, but what my family cant accept and cant stand to see is me going backwards, or going from a good week to a bad one. So im never thinking about myself and pushing myself too far for the sake of other people. Thanks so much!!
And thanks Katie! now i've cheered up a bit i can see that a few months ago i werent doing this! so something must have changed! Also, havent had a panic attack in abut 5/6 months?! :D xxx

[Nigel]

Hi Becks,

“So im never thinking about myself, and pushing myself too far for the sake of other people.”

Yes, that’s a bit of a tricky one because everyone is trying to please everyone else. Your family obviously care and don’t want to see you going backwards, but they forget that progress doesn’t always happen smoothly or as quickly as they’d like. And you obviously care and try to please them, even if that means taking on a little too much at times.

I wonder if it might help to come up with a plan of your own. Something ‘manageable’ but that’s still making progress and moving forward. Then have a good talk with your parents and explain that you need to tackle this in ‘your’ way, while showing them you plans and explaining how it’s gonna work.

One idea is to set a big goal – something you would really like to achieve in the future. Perhaps something you’d love to do by next birthday. Everybody does things like that, but they make one BIG mistake. The look at where they are today and they look at where they want to be, and they think; “Yikes!! :scared11: No way am I ever gonna make that!” It a huge leap to make, and of course it’s way too scary, which is why it never happens.

But what would happen if you broke the challenge down? If you wrote down 12 little sub goals that take you from where you are today to where you want to be in 12 months time. Keep that big goal in mind as inspiration but don’t think about it too much. Instead focus on the little goal you want to reach by the end of the month.

And you can make it even easier. Write down 4 even smaller sub sub goals – one for each week – that will take you to where you want to be at the end of the month.

You now have a whole lot of stepping stones that get you from here to that big goal a year from now, and each one is a small doable step.

“when i have a good week, im proud, everyones proud, but what my family cant accept and cant stand to see is me going backwards, or going from a good week to a bad one.”

Have you ever stood by the sea and watched the tide coming in...

All of a sudden there’s one big wave that surges up the beach for further than before. Then the tide seems to be going backwards. Smaller waves that never seem to go quite as far. Then all of a sudden there’s another big wave that surges further still. Then some smaller ones again.

When you look at each wave it’s impossible to see any definite direction – any progress – but when you look at it over a longer period there is very noticeable progress as the tide rises up the beach.

Progress is like that. Sometimes in surges and sometimes in little steps, sometimes it appears to be standing still and sometimes even going backwards. It’s the bigger picture that’s important Becks, and from what you wrote in you first message, the bigger picture looks like progress to me :yesyes:

Take care,
Nigel

[kibbutz83]

Wise words indeed Nigel :)

[Nigel]

Thanks kibbutz83 :)