i still check

[pete24]

i still check my poo for blood several times.O n a bad day as much as 15 times.i then have to cut myself to see what real blood does on loo paper.I know blood goes staight through the paper....and i can see my poo does not .waiting for councelling but am in state as i cant beleive what i see.I think i can see things that are not there.I sometimes feel like the jack nicholson character in cuckoos nest....just digging myself into a bigger hole and its not me...but its real

[blueangel]

Eek, you must try not to cut yourself Pete, as you might get an infection. Have you got any idea how long it will be before you can get your first counselling session.

[pete24]

i dont know still waiting ,but i have had an initial consultation...but its nhs

[blueangel]

So it could take a while then unfortunately, as the waiting lists can be long in some parts of the country. Is your GP OK to talk to - is he/she sympathetic? Also, have they given you any medication, as if this is the case, it can helkp to get you more stable while you're waiting for the appointment.

Keep us posted - there are lots of nice people on here who know how you feel.

[CrazyCatLady]

It's fine to check your poo, it's a good way of telling where your body is at, but please don't continue to cut yourself like blueangel says.

Once you've had a peek, you should flush it straight down, and get on with your day.

I hope your counselling comes up quick so you can start to control these feelings.

[pete24]

i am on prozac.....the thing about the checking is i see not whats there but what i want to see...or not see..but there is nothing there

[Vixxy]

If you keep having to check what blood on toilet paper looks like, why not take a photo of it so that you dont have to keep cutting yourself?
Some advice for you about blood from the bowels.
If there is RED blood on the toilet tissue or on the outside of the poo, then you probably have an anal fissure (a small rip in the skin) if you have one of these it will rip if you do a bowel movement and bleed red blood. You may notice it on the toilet paper when you wipe, you may notice a small drop of blood in the toilet bowl, or you may notice it on the outside of the poo. Theyre a pain, but nothing to worry about.
OR you might have piles. Which is basically a varicose vein in your anus. It will bleed more than a fissure and will also be painful. Again its a pain, but nothing to worry about.
Of course you need to see your GP if you have blood on your stools, but Im giving you an explanation that shows you its not the end of the world. Ive had a fissure since I was a child, and im still here :p

The other type of blood you may see. If your poo is dark grey/black/green then it might be you have bleeding further up your intestines. (if youre on iron tablets, then youll have black poo anyway). This does need to be checked out by a doctor.

The fact that youre looking for fresh red blood says to me that theres nothing serious going on. I hope this helps you in some way :)

[LisaLisa]

Pete

its not normal or healthy to do the ritual that you are doing and it is contributing to creating and feeding your health anxiety. Checking behaviour must stop. Thats the first thing the phychologist explained to me when i was seen before.

I say to myself now that the checking gives me absolutely nothing of value. I can do it for hours and only come ou the same or worse.

I feel that when i am checking i do it until it 'feels' right. But try going with the logic instead. It makes no sense what so ever to do this checking...so dont do it. You will feel really really anxious but it will fade the longer you resist. And you can try lots of things to take your mond off it. See it like quitting smoking or any other addiction, cos that is what it is hun

Lisa
xxxx:hugs:

[pete24]

thanks for your repies.i can go a few days without checking but i then weaken.i was a bit alarmed at vixxys reply as it inferred that black or green poo could be suspicious.i have dark or black poo sometimes then light brown....we poo what we eat

[CrazyCatLady]

Pete, don't be alarmed, and you can talk things through with your gp.

The "ideal" is supposed to be light brown in colour, and the consistancy of a ripe banana, or toothpaste.

Don't get hung up about the ideal though, as it really does vary hugely. You're right aswell in that what you eat can affect the appearance of your stool, and meds i think can do the same.

Not only can anxiety affect your stools (too much bile etc) but it will heighten your senses so you can see what isn't there.

It sounds like you are stuck in a vicious circle, but don't worry, you've taken steps to get treatment, and things will get better.

:hugs:

[Vixxy]

I have read it again. I assumed you were more worried about fresh blood as you said you cut yourself and put it on loo roll. Hence the darker stools comment wasnt in as much detail.
I dont have any experience of bowel cancer personally. (My uncle has it at the moment, but Ive not asked him his symptoms XD) So the advice came from my knowledge of it. From the reading Ive done in the last few minutes you would have dark tarry stools 99% of the time. You said sometimes, which I would say means you dont have any internal bleeding.
I cant give you a definate yes or no though, im not a doctor. The only way to be totally sure would be to have a rectal exam, which is not fun lol or a stool sample.

And youre not being a pain. :p