Hi ladies, can anyone help me work out where I am on the road to getting better?

[ByThePowerOfGreyskul]

I had a breakdown in Feb 2008 it was a build up of stress and pressure that resulted in me attempting suicide.
the medical profession stepped in and I have been having psychiatric help every week since then.

What I am seeking is some idea of when we stop. the stress levels that I experienced when I had my breakdown triggered PTSD regarding me being raped as a child ( I had always remembered but thought it wasn't anything extraordinary and the weight of responsibility for it was definately mine)
Anyway, now 2 years + down the road we have dealt with alot of stuff includign why I didnt have any support as a child and why I was more frightened of telling my parents about being raped than I was of being raped again.
I have changed the relationship I have with my parents and it is now functioning on a level I feel more comfortable with. I don't think of suicide as often as I did and I am learning to deal with the flashbacks and re-experiencing as early as I can to prevent me getting totally stuck.

SO
I do still re-experience being raped, once a week or slightly less - will that ever go? I have managed through visualisations to find a way of flooding my mind with a huge fire big and firey instead of seeing his face and can hear the crackles instead of him chewing gum in my ear and can smell the fire burning instead of his smokey sweaty body. It gets me out of the room - but it doesn't stop it wiping me out it is exhausting and frightening.

when I talk in my meetings about the future I am reassured that we are not going to end until I am happy to but I guess I don't know what I should be aiming for. IYKWIM>

sorry for rambling wierd first posting Hope someone can help.

x

[Lynnann]

Hi,

Your experiences are quite similar to mine, I think a lot of women and children suffer rape and sexual abuse and don't report as their is a lot of self blame involved with that subject. In honesty you will never forget what has happened to you in the past. I can't either, however you are now recieving support and treatment which will help immensely with how you deal with it.

I was abused as a child and developed PTSD after I was raped again nearly 6 yrs ago. For the most part I function quite well these days, there are still occasions that trigger me and stress is something I could cope with better but the nightmares and flashbacks are lessening with time and a lot of understanding from my family and friends, (nmp ones as well as 3D) thanks guys:).

I work, run a household and am sometimes happy lol.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to look really hard to find it sometimes.

Lynnann:flowers:

[mcclan]

your not rambling its cos of what happened to ya.things seem pop back into ya head about it and thats why you focus more on that than anything else.iv been suffering with P.T.S.D. nearly 4 years now since something happened to me but in the last few weeks i seem to be getting back to normal.its took a long time but i do think its getting there. its all about everything you think about and if you can get good things in your mind then your day will come when you see that your getting better. so hope to see you get better cos a know you can cos i am getting there now regards dave :hugs: