Pregnancy Fear

[Lisa C]

Hi

Im not sure if this is the correct place to post this, so I apologise in advance if it is. Ive been with my boyfriend for a few years and we recently bought our first home together. We've talked about having babies and Id love this to happen very soon. Ive been feeling loads better in the past year but one thing still worries me. I tend to get anxious and panicky when things are out of my control, ie if im in a room where there is no exit, if Im on a plane, due to the feeling I cant get off. Im just worried I will spend the whole of the pregnancy feeling panicky as the baby is inside me and has to stay there for 9months. Sorry if im not making sense but can anyone relate to this or has anyone been through it and been pleasantly suprised?

Thanks x

[JaneC]

Here's a previous thread you might want to read Lisa. It's long but you might find it interesting

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=63835

[Rachel424]

I can totally relate to what you're saying and I'm in a very similar situation to you Lisa. My partner and I have been together for nearly 8 years and we've just moved into our first proper home. We'd both like to start a family, but I'm terrified that I won't be able to cope, and I won't be able to take any medication to help me. Like you, I hate feeling out of control. I was stuck in a long traffic jam on the M6 on Sunday night. Cars were all around me, it was dark and I was starting to panic because I felt trapped. My partner had to get off the motorway and go through all the back streets to get us home (which given the traffic jam was actually quicker!). So I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm going to have a look at the thread JaneC has kindly highlighted for us. Take care, Rachel

[shaz14]

I had/have all the same fears as you describe and more and then I fell pregnant last year. Happened 1 month after I stopped taking my contraceptive pill and i hadn't quite come off my citalopram. Dr told me to just stop taking it immediately and I think this made me worse. I was so scared to be pregnant or actually carry a baby for 9 months, what if I wanted it out after 6 months???!!! Or what if something went wrong inside me and I had no control over it??? I worried what it would feel like when the baby moved or kicked. I was scared for 9 months of the birth.

Anyway I was a nervous wreck throughout the whole pregnancy and didn't enjoy it one bit. I had panic attacks all the time but I got through it all somehow with help from my family and counselling at the hospital.

My son is now 10 months old and I've been battling on but gradually getting worse until I finally admitted last week that I needed the medication again. Wish I had taken it months ago as I could have been feeling much better by now!

BUT MY BABY IS WORTH ALL OF IT (and if I can do it, so can you!)

So my advice from experience is:
1) Slowly come off any medication you are taking before getting pregnant
2) Make sure you tell your Doctor and Midwife of your fears and tell them you will need extra support (counselling really helped me through each week)
3) If you feel throughout your pregnancy that you are not coping then speak to your Doctor as there are some medications you could take
4) Get a tour of the ward where you will be delivering your baby and make sure it is written on your hospital notes that you suffer from anxiety/panic
5) Talk about your fears whenever you feel anxious to your friends and family and they will support you and tell you what a great job you are doing
6) After your baby is born, make sure you look after yourself and get help if you don't feel well. After all, you need to be well to look after your little one.

I wish I had done all these things to make my pregnancy easier and the 1st year of my Son's life a happier one.

[Lisa C]

Thank you for your replies.

Rachel, what you've said completely makes sense to me. The fear is not having the baby but the fact im not in control. With anything else, if I get anxious then I look for a way out but obviosuly with a baby in your belly, it cant be taken out of you get panicky!

Shaz, Im not actually on any medication. I sometimes feel a bit bad writing on here as there seem to be people going through a lot worse than me.

Im just trying to be really positive about it and think about previous experiences where I have been anxious and panicking but as soon as Ive done what I was scared about and realised actually that wasnt that bad and it didnt hurt me, I feel a bit better. I suppose Im hoping that pregnancy will be the same, whereas the worrying before hand will be a lot worse than being pregnant if that makes sense?

I went to Alton Towers a few weeks ago as my partner loves the rides and really wanted to go, so I told myself loads of people visit there everyday and they are fine so I kept telling myself theres nothing to be scared of and I pushed myself to go. To cut a long story short, I went and went on all of the rides, i admit I was anxious in the lead up and the 2 hour queues for the rides but when I got off, I realised it wasnt half as bad as I was worrying about and I actually enjoyed it. I also felt soooo much better about myself that I did it.

Im glad there are others that have the same fears as me and have been through it. I'll keep reminding myself of this and hopefully when I am preganant I will be able to enjoy it x