bobsy
04-03-06, 15:55
Just thought i'd do a post.
I have had two counselling sessions now and they are not going too bad, even though i get homework. The lady i see is nice and she takes me out to places. My first bit of homework was to let my partner take me out and not tell me where we were going as she says i have this thing about always being in control of situations as that why i think i am safe and she wants to let me find out that if other people take control of a situation i will still be safe. anyway i did this and felt ok so i have to keeping going where my other half wants (he is in his element) i'm just waiting for him to take my somewhere hard but counsellor says he has to be patience and do small things first so i feel ok with this.
This week she took me to sainsbury's cafe. omg. anyway i bought the coffees and found a seat then she went back to get a napkin i was tempted to turn round and watch where she had gone but i didn't. she said she did this on purpose to see how i would react and i told her i was worried she was going to go away for a long time. she said she would not have done this but she will next time but she will tell me for how long she would be gone for (cant wait for next time!!!)
i told her that if i was with somebody i was ok it was being on my own i did not like. She said i was ok in the cafe and i agreed with her my problems are getting there on my own, if somebody took me there i could do shopping but would need them at checkout. it's this being on my own thing. she said i am too dependent on my partner to get me out of things and if i carried on doing this my problem would not go away which i also understand. i have to stop being dependent on him and depend on myself as she says sometimes having people around all the time can be a liability to me. i know where she is coming from but its hard breaking the cord. I also have to try and break my safety places (i.e. if i am out i always have places to fall back on like friends/relatives houses, work, hairdressers, shops where i no people work) This is my coping techniques which she says i have to try and break so my homework for the next 3 weeks is to go out in one direction in a place where i have no safety place and walk for 5 mins there and 5 mins back. I did it yesterday twice and felt not bad i wouldn't say it was wonderful BUT I DID IT. I have also taken my son into town today on my own in the car and we stayed for 1 1/2 hours I think there may be some light at the end of the tunnel - just a little at the moment and i don't want to spead too soon.
I just need to conquer not relying and being dependent on people to get me to places and not having safety nets I NEED CONFIDENCE but i know that comes from doing things i don't like.
i will keep you informed thanks for reading
bobsy
I have had two counselling sessions now and they are not going too bad, even though i get homework. The lady i see is nice and she takes me out to places. My first bit of homework was to let my partner take me out and not tell me where we were going as she says i have this thing about always being in control of situations as that why i think i am safe and she wants to let me find out that if other people take control of a situation i will still be safe. anyway i did this and felt ok so i have to keeping going where my other half wants (he is in his element) i'm just waiting for him to take my somewhere hard but counsellor says he has to be patience and do small things first so i feel ok with this.
This week she took me to sainsbury's cafe. omg. anyway i bought the coffees and found a seat then she went back to get a napkin i was tempted to turn round and watch where she had gone but i didn't. she said she did this on purpose to see how i would react and i told her i was worried she was going to go away for a long time. she said she would not have done this but she will next time but she will tell me for how long she would be gone for (cant wait for next time!!!)
i told her that if i was with somebody i was ok it was being on my own i did not like. She said i was ok in the cafe and i agreed with her my problems are getting there on my own, if somebody took me there i could do shopping but would need them at checkout. it's this being on my own thing. she said i am too dependent on my partner to get me out of things and if i carried on doing this my problem would not go away which i also understand. i have to stop being dependent on him and depend on myself as she says sometimes having people around all the time can be a liability to me. i know where she is coming from but its hard breaking the cord. I also have to try and break my safety places (i.e. if i am out i always have places to fall back on like friends/relatives houses, work, hairdressers, shops where i no people work) This is my coping techniques which she says i have to try and break so my homework for the next 3 weeks is to go out in one direction in a place where i have no safety place and walk for 5 mins there and 5 mins back. I did it yesterday twice and felt not bad i wouldn't say it was wonderful BUT I DID IT. I have also taken my son into town today on my own in the car and we stayed for 1 1/2 hours I think there may be some light at the end of the tunnel - just a little at the moment and i don't want to spead too soon.
I just need to conquer not relying and being dependent on people to get me to places and not having safety nets I NEED CONFIDENCE but i know that comes from doing things i don't like.
i will keep you informed thanks for reading
bobsy