Anybody with sexual intrusive thoughts about family members?

[GreyGirl]

I have ocd since i know about me! I count my steps,i count to 100,i do many compusions and all my life i am obbsessed about anything.
I am 20 years old girl who has everything to be happy,but intrusive thoughts ruin my life!
First i was afraid of death. I spent 5months rushing the hospitals,so they didn't find any-only anxiety and panic attackshttp://www.stuckinadoorway.org/forums/images/smilies/frown.gif
Then i realized that i am tottaly healthy and i have to stop this.But other obsession came. I get obsessed about being psyho,serial killer,or something.
I overcame this fear also. Other obessesion came. I was afriad that i will perform suicide. This fear was so real. I was spending hours on my balcony checking myself if i can do that. I didn't want to kill myself but it was looking so real. Then i listened about paranoia. So i became paranoid. I even started to think as someone follows me and i was sure it's not true.
Now my BIGGEST obsession is about my mom.
I have intrusive thoughts and ideas about "attraction" of her.
I am so afraid of this and i can't stop myself asking WHAT IF it is real.
I constantly check myself if i have "feelings" for her,so i can't hug her as before,or talk to her etc. I am constantly asking myself about this and i feel my brain blocked.
My psiholog said it is ocd and fear. But how can i be sure? Why they look so real? Even i can't be comfortable with my boyfriends because of this idea?
Does anyone feel like this or i am not normal?
PLSSSSSS HELPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

http://www.stuckinadoorway.org/forums/images/misc/progress.gif

[nomorepanic]

If you scroll down to the very bottom of this page you will see similar threads and there are some with the same issues so have a read of them

[suzy-sue]

These are just thoughts .Your Anxiety is causing them .These thoughts are making you uncomfortable and this proves that they arent what you really feel Otherwise it wouldnt bother you like it it does .Lots of people have these type of thoughts and you can read at the bottom of this page similar threads .Sue :hugs:

[WillyB]

Many people have these intrusive thoughts about family members, i have and they are not nice, but sometimes you cant work out whether you really want it or really hate it, it seems so real at times even though you know its wrong and sick. Do you feel like this? I seem to obsess over sexual things, whether im gay, whether im a paedophile, do people think im gay? do they think im a paedophile?

It really is horrible, but you are not alone and you can get help. CBT has done me so much good, i got a referral from my GP when i finally told him what was bothering me.
:hugs:

[Inspires]

I think it would be a good idea to maybe discuss your concerns with your GP, who may/may not refer you to a medically qualified professional, for extra assistance.

Also DO read all the informative articles, on the left hand side of the forum, as suggested by other members.

Return, and let us all know what 'path' you've decided to take...

Take care,

Sue x. :flowers:

[ChrisBaker]

Hi it does sound like OCD anxiety. With OCD you have to check things and thats what you do. Its when you can't check when anxiety kicks in big time and it makes you feel ill. People think OCD is all about tins in cubboard being same way round and also cleaning things. I know how you feel I thought I was killing people. I would check wheelie bins because i thought I had put some one in one. You will get better it takes time.

[Steffnyjo]

I know this may sound strange but it makes me feel better to know that i am not alone with this. I too have horrible thoughts about killing people, even though i know i never will, it makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. The worse thought i have is about being a paedophile, and i have a 2yr old so i find it really difficult. Somehow my brain tries to convince me that i am a paedophile or a murderer and it really hard to tell myself that i am not, it is just OCD. I thought i was alone in this and was happy to find out that it IS AN ILLNESS!!! I have to keep telling myself this. I found it hard to tell my husband and he was really understanding, as nuch as a person can be who doesnt understand. I am waiting for an appointment with a psychologist and i hope i can get some help with this. Hang in there. You are not alone!!! x

[princesspanic]

hi everybody, just joined today. could really do with advice from ppl going through the same. basically it all started last month thou i had a fear to do with hurting ppl when i was younger. last month i started getting error messages on my phone, turns out everybody was having them but that was it for me i thought that someone was tracking my web history and are going do get me into trouble for downloading porn( just normal porn i may add!) this became an obsession in which i thought id put my whole life at risk and the police are going to get me! i was so concerned i spoke to my friends who convinced me that you cant get into trouble as long as it wasnt anything sick. This then became another obsession in which i thought what if i have looked at something sick and what if i downloaded something by accident and cant remember! i know deep down i didnt but i keep doubting myself. Now i keep gettting disturbing sexual thoughts that i will one day abuse or hurt a young person and i dont want to, but my thoughts are playing tricks with me and making me think i am actually capable of this. I CANNOT get any piece at all in the day, it is driving me mad. I dont want to think like this, and the more i think about it, i think i must be sick! has anyone had a simelar experience? im starting to get very paranoid now, pleeaase hellp!

[princesspanic]

oops sorry grey girl im new and didnt realise i had to set up a new thread i seem really rude x

[sillysillysoph]

you are no different than I am, I have thoughts about my mother and sister and find it hard to even look them in the eye. It's scary, I have been through a whole roller coaster ride, if you ever want to talk then mail me :) x

[xxlisaxx08]

The more these thoughts scare you and the more you try not to think about them, the more you will. It's a bit like my telling you not to think about a purple elephant for the nest 30 seconds, all you will be able to think about is a purple elephant. The important thing is that you realise that you're having these thoughts. A serial killer probably wouldn't be distressed at thoughts to them it would be 'normal'. It's just anxiety that's causing it. Have you considered medication to help?

Lisa x

[Anxious_gal]

How you can be sure it's OCD:

If you read through the OCD forum you will see 100000's of posts just like yours.

You symptoms are text book Pure OCD >http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purely_Obsessional_OCD

[Peral]

hello, i have this problem...
I am new to this & have never been diagnosed with ocd but i know i over obsess easily & i fear my own thoughts. Im a 22 yr old female and I have a twin brother. I have sexually intrusive thoughts about him on a regular basis. It has been going on for about three years. at first, i thought i was crazy because it happened when i was being sexual with my ex boyfriend. My first reaction was to get help but i didnt have insurance. The thought made me really afraid and i couldnt stop thinking about what was wrong with me. i rememeber being terrified that i was attracted to my brother. at one point in time i thought it was extremely real & quit hugging him and there were times it became so bad i couldnt even look at him, even though we have always been close before this started happening.During & after that relationship ended, I started looking for similarities between my boyfriends & my brother..this is still something that happens today.
I became very repulsed by myself & very afraid. I believed this was real...
after that, it started getting even worse. i would physically hit myself in the head to pound the thoughts out of my brain. I dont do thi now...
Every time i thought about the problem i was having it became worse.
I started having what i thought were fantasies about my only brother. I couldnt stop crying and told my ex what was happening everytime we had sex, or i even thought about sex because in my mind my brother would be doing exactly what my boyfriend was doing at the time.
since then I have obsessed so badly over it that at one point in time i thought i was atually in love with my brother, even thought the idea scared me and made me want to kill myself, even though i would never do that. looking for similarities turned into putting them on my brother in my head... for example if the guy i was seeing had tattoos my brother wore the same ones in the images that played in my head. It started to make me repulsed by the guy i was dating & we would end it.

My problem has gotten so bad that I rarely enjoy sex and im afraid to try. I have had this issue for so long that I feel it has helped end two decent realationships in the past and made me believe that i wont get better. I know I have sufferered from sexual trauma & wonder if that is the cause. I often fear people hurting me in a sexual way.

Now, three yrs later i still obsess over it, only im trying to look at the problem differently. I Know it inst real, but i still have sexully intrusive thoughts about my twin. It never stopped happening & still happens today with my current loving sweet heart of a boyfriend, & im afraid that it will ruin our relationship. I have had sex since then but Im still afraid of these thoughts.They happen either randomly, when im trying to fantasize about an actual lover, or think about my current boyfriend. I feel like this is some slow sick toture. it seems to get worse if i have feelings for the person im in the relationship with. Im so bad that im afraid to look at pictures or remember perfectly good memories with my current boyfriend because im afraid that the memory will change and morph into me being with my brother instead of the man i love. However, how can i have a healthy relationship if my man and i are going to be intimate and all i see is my twin brother playing my boyfriends role in my head? i feel so wrong. I dont want to lose him over this. I miss hanging out with my brother too like how things used to be. I want change to happen... I need this to end. l'm pregnant & just want to be healthy for myself & my child. I want to know if ocd is the problem, or what the problem is. If anyone can help me, I would feel most appreciative

[Kimberley89]

Hi everyone I have just joined today. I have had worrying thoughts about all sorts for years. I have seen counsellors but nothing has helped. Though I thought my problem was just depression. After reading up on anxiety and ocd things seem alot clearer now. Its so hard to express everything because i always feel im missing something out and more thoughts just come into my head. Mine are sexual an also about hurting people. Its ruining my life. I hate myself for it, i cant have a relationship because im also over the top paranoid an jealous an push guys away. I say things like what if a girl came onto you an you was drunk etc loads an loads of stuff. I just put all sorts in my head. I just want to be normal an lead a happy life. All i do is worry an sleep an go to work. I dont make effort getting out of bed an going out doing stuff because i feel so low. Im scared all this cant be overcome. Then it makes me think is there any point in living :( Id like to just chat to people who go through the same an others that have come out the other end

[Tessar]

Hi GreyGirl, Just a quickie to say i saw your thread. There's another thread you may be interested in... regarding sexual intrusive thoughts. This one didnt appear in the list so you may want to take a look. You certainly arent alone in this for sure. Hopefully everyone's comments here will be helpful too & you can take heart from all the support here.
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=125935&page=2

[theheartcollector]

I'm going through the exact same thing GreyGirl. This is the first time I've ever been able to communicate how I feel. I've been so disturbed/embarrassed/sickened and ashamed by the thoughts I've had about my own mother that I've kept it a secret, I can't even tell my therapist.
I sometimes have to avoid my mother because I'm so uncomfortable around her and I do a lot of "self monitoring" when I'm around her, it makes me feel absolutely dreadful. I know avoidance probably makes the thoughts worse though :/
Even though I know what I'm experiencing is OCD, I can't shake the feeling that I really am "sick" or "disgusting" deep down. Wish I knew how to make it stop.

I used to have similar ocd thoughts about being a paedo. Obviously I've never been attracted to children, it's absurd! But everytime I was around a child I'd worry that I might start to become attracted to one and I'd have panic attacks. Luckily these thoughts have really died down of late and I feel quite comfortable around children now. There's even a part of me that would quite like to become a mother one day, but I feel like I've got too many issues and it wouldn't be fair on the kid :sad:

Anyway enough about my problems. I see that your post is a few years old, are you feeling any better since posting? I hope you are still using this forum GG. Take care x

[Stormsky]

Just to say, This is an old thread, GreyGirl hasn't been on the forum since 2010.