fear of eating out

[allergyphobia]

anybody else with this one? i guess it stems from me not being in control, other people being around when i eat, and ultimately me having a reaction or more likely a panic attack and me being embarrassed. its very inconvenient because it seems in my new job everybody likes to go to the pub for lunch now and then and with christmas coming up there will be team dos etc...

[PanchoGoz]

I had a fear of eating out for a while and I still don't like it. Its the formality and claustrophobia that does it for me. I think this is quite a common fear...

[unspoken]

Yes, I am emetophobic, so I am scared of feeling sick while eating. Also I worry that I won't be able to eat anything on the menu because of my issues with IBS and acid reflux. I am better than I used to be - I used to have panic attacks and feel like I was going to throw up and have to leave.

If it's a more relaxed kind of place like a pub, I tend to feel more at ease. I often have to force myself to eat anything though. Have plenty of cold water with your meal, it helps, and just order something simple like a sandwich. Take your time, don't focus too much on the food and try to relax and get into a conversation with the people you're with. It depends how well you get on with the people you're with. I used to feel pretty awkward going to the pub with people from work, but occasionally I'd get into a half decent conversation with one of them and manage to relax a bit.

[DavidJ85]

Totally can relate to this. I'm exactly like that.

[Newin]

I have a kinda that condition also. the best restaurants of the city I have problems to eat and sometimes leads me to have panics.

[Anxious_gal]

I just get anxious and then I can't eat and people notice i'm not eating and them thinking i have an ED........ or I'm stuck up and on a diet and trying to make them feel bad by not eating..........
I have had people ask why am not eating or even why i didn't drink all my coffee.

[unspoken]

Also, if you need to escape for a bit, take toilet breaks. But not too often, or else people might start to think you're bullimic. It was only when I got IBS and realised that most things people enjoy eating and drinking make me ill that I realised just how much social activity revolves around eating and/or drinking. Other things I do when I'm out, for example in a pub or cafe, is pick up any leaflets or magazines that are around and read them. It helps me feel less anxious while I'm waiting or whatever. But in some situations it can seem antisocial. Also focus on the decor in the place, pictures on the walls or whatever, or what's happening outside, to keep your mind off the fact you're trying to eat.

[Anxious_gal]

UNSPOKEN!!!!!!
WOW that has happened me too!!! if i go to the bathroom people think I'm throwing up....

[European]

Yes, I was feeling the same way....

....until after a few years of utter panic I started to realise that more often than not if felt the awful way I felt due to me conforming to other people's wishes in an attempt to appear somewhat 'normal' and not attract any criticism.

It took a while for me to realise, and to allow myself to feel, that I actually don't care all that much for eating out, but that, for various reasons, I generally much rather cook something at home and invite people to come over.

It was only after this realisation, and allowing myself this realisation, that I began to relax about the whole issue. These days, I do eat out every now and again - but only when I want to, and not in order to conform with or feel obliged to what others might want. It seems to do the trick. :)

[blueangel]

I can get this problem, but for me it only happens in "formal" situations. There seems to be a completely mad middle-class seating convention of splitting up couples and making people sit with people they don't know.

I have problems with this through my partner's job, as we sometimes have to go to formal dinners (there's one on Friday I'm really not looking forward to), and invariably I get stuck with someone I don't know at all and as a consequence of this I'll sit through the meal in silence looking at my plate. Formal dinners also tend to make people feel trapped, as you can't wander off from the table if you start feeling stressed; it's bad manners to move anywhere at all, including the loo, so when you're there, you're stuck for two hours or more.

[allergyphobia]

thanks everybody for your replies. although it is not great you have had similar experiences, its reassuring to know im not alone on this one. im not sure how to overcome it, though the tip about readin leaflets etc is a good one as i find distraction always helps me, as would talking with people... though i find myself going further and further into myself and worrying. it's a nightmare really and like you say SO much social activity seems to centre around eating. :(