View Full Version : Failure.....
i feel like a total failure my friends!
took my daughter to town to buy a few things....but had to come home as soon as we were done.....in the past before this june...we would go for a drink and a muffin...sit and natter and watch the world go by...now its in and out in such speed...im not sure if she realises...she is 13...but i feel such a complete and utter failure.
when i look at people they seem oh so happy...and then i look at kerrylouise and me...and it breaks my heart!
why why why why why why why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! up until this june for the last four years i was ticking on so nicely....confident, bubbly and happy now look at me.....high anxiety/panic attacks since june...lost so much weight...cannot eat!
i just dont know anymore - dont know wot to do...hate being out hate being at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it must get better...it must!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::w eep::weep::weep:
Hi Tracey,
Some people struggle to get out of their front door.
Town... Shops... Busy Saturday... That’s pretty good! And I bet KerryLouise had a good time.
So I don’t want to hear any more talk of failure... and that’s an order :winks:
Nigel
I'm so sorry you feel like this. I have the same thoughts about my 14 year old son - I've felt like I've ignored him since this started in April.
I've seen your positive replies to other peoples problems so I just wanted to let you know that people care about how you're feeling.
I'm sure your daughter understands - at least you managed to get out with her. Why not have the coffee and muffins at home? I know its not the same but it will extend the time you're together?
Have a hug :hugs:
Calm, you did so well to go out with your daughter...and, remember, everyone else might seem happy to you but there may have been some feeling just like you were feeling.
with lots of love and hugs xxx
oh nigel, tracey and agnes...your replies have brought tears to my eyes...but in such a positive way xxxxxxx
godddddddddddddddddddddd i want these feelings to go away and i am so angry as i am doing it all to myself.....and my beloved family xxxxxx
tracey....so you have a 14 year old...how is he coping.....i havent told kerrylouise wots going on.....she has health problems and i dont want to add to her worries!
agnes...i know wot you are saying...but i go onto facebook and everyone is having the time of there lives...always doing something or other....and i just read and think .......well i dont know wot to think! but this is definately no life...we have one life and it should be for living......not living with high anxiety xxxxxx
nigel...yes i did make it out of the door...but before june i didnt even think about going out...i was always the first to be out and about and having fun xxxxx
oh my friends.....thank you xxxxxx
Hey lady, I didn't even make it to town today, so well done on going in! You did it! You will get your old self back, it just takes time.
“yes i did make it out of the door...but before june i didnt even think about going out...”
That’s irrelevant. The thing is you did it, and that’s an achievement!
And always remember – ‘I am a human being not a human doing’ :winks:
“i go onto facebook and everyone is having the time of there lives...always doing something or other....and i just read and think .......well i dont know wot to think! but this is definately no life...we have one life and it should be for living......”
Thanks for reminding me. For different reasons, but I haven’t been outside for nearly 3 weeks now apart from the odd trip down the road to Tesco when supplies are running low. I’m falling back into my rut of spending all day feeling fed up and stuck in front of the PC, never feeling I’ve achieved enough to earn some time off. Each day I decide I’m gonna go out and do some jobs in the garden – I always loved that – but each day it gets late and I end up thinking... “It’s not worth it now – perhaps tomorrow”.
I was thinking that again today but no! I’m going out to do something!
Thank you Tracey :)
Take care,
Nigel
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hazel....thank you my love...thank you xxxxxx
you didnt today but you will xxxxx its blooming hard though isnt it....i am planning to take ruby my dog out soon....i think she is getting down...i do take her out most days but not for the long walks we used to go on....but she is well loved ....she looks sad also!
i want my old self back ....i miss her....she was fun hazel....she sang and smiled and laughed so so much!
NIGEL ....oh nigel...yes yes yes yes yes.....i will go for a longer walk with ruby and you let me know wot you did....deal? xxxxxxx
My son does get worried. He doesn't know about the panic attacks, he thinks its still my original problem which was vertigo/labyrinthitis type. Luckily with him being a boy he doesn't want to go shopping, and he will come and carry the bags when I go out for food!
I sometimes think though is it better to explain to the kids - they may think there's something seriously wrong and in my heart of hearts I know there's nothing physically wrong with me - am I setting him up for problems in the future by letting him worry about me.
What do you think? :ohmy:
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii tracey
i think in my heart of hearts you are doing the right thing.....but oh tracey, i dont know....i havent got the heart to tell her......she went through so much with me four years ago. and to see her worry and fret...she is a worrier im afraid....well i just dont know.
she also has a few health issues and i am trying my level best to keep it all calm etc.
tracey it would be so good to chat so pm if you would like too xxxxx
Hi - I've PM'd you, hope I've done it right - never done it before
x
Tracey i've just read your post.No wonder you have high anxiety with crohns disease,its just how i feel with the fibro,feeling unwell does make us incredibly anxious especially when we have kids to look after too.
While you're not well you won't be able to do all the activities you used to so getting out today was an achievement i would say.
I have dogs too,4 infact,i can't walk them as much as i used to,just once a day now but they know they r megga loved.
Ali xxx
hi ali......you are so so so so right xxxxx
yes i must see it as an achievement but my mind turns it into a negative...because for me the symptoms are getting worse not better....do you know wot i mean.....a month ago i think i was fine ....but my fear of going out is getting more out of control and i build myself up into a panic!
so you have four dogs....wow.....mine is a parson jack russell and she does need the exercise....the tesco man is coming soon and after that i am going to take her out.....she looks kind of depressed god love her.
thank you ali xxxxx appreciate your reply xxxxxx
I have a parsons jack russell too called Skippy.She is 9 now so she is slowing up bless her.I also have a pug,a whippet lurcher(who is a bit too much for me in all honesty)and a japenese spitz.I couldnt be without my dogs,they are so loyal and loving unlike a great deal of human beings.
Its lovely here today,sunny but chilly,enjoy your walk.
Ali xxx
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my my jr is called ruby and she is three....and a complete live as well you must know.
you are oh so right...dogs are so so loyal xxxxx
im going to go out shortly just need to build my courage up.....how stupid is that...just to go for a walk with ruby!..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
thank you ali xxxxx
i feel like a total failure my friends!
when i look at people they seem oh so happy...and then i look at kerrylouise and me...and it breaks my heart!
it must get better...it must!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::w eep::weep::weep:
Hey you. :hugs: I am sure everyone looks at everyone and thinks they must be so much happier than we are. Its natural. It was a great achievement for you going out into busy town today, I managed Sainsburys today and town briefly, its a huge effort, so well done to us!! :winks: Try and concentrate on the positives and enjoy your walk with Ruby. xx
olderfella
25-09-10, 21:01
Hi Calm your not a failure mate you did very well and your daughter will have enjoyed it,it is always hard trying to hide things from the kids,my children know i have problems but it doesnt make it any easier i hate it if my kids see me panic,and i try not to let that happen as it makes my daughter cry she doesnt understand properly,be proud of what you achieved today you did great:hugs:
thank you heavenly and olderfella.....your both right xxxx
heavenly....pat on the back to us both xxxx
older....i know exactly wot you mean....oh my love, that must be so distressing when your daughter cries..but you comfort her...its just so scary isnt it.
love to you both xxxxx
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