Returning panic attacks!! :(

[gemstar07]

Hi all, I'm really scared I'm losing control again. I've had panic disorder for 4 years, and hadn't until recently had a panic attack in almost a year. Now lately I've been having panic attacks and they are getting much more frequent. It started with one out of the blue a few months ago and now over the last 2 days I've had one major and two smaller attacks, one of which was at work. I'm petrified I'm going to lose everything again after I've just built myself up. I've only been back at work for 7 months and off anti-depressants for 5 months. I'm constantly anxious and it's wearing me out, (I have M.E also). Even as I write I've butterflies in my tummy and my heart is pounding. I've been to my doctor and she's placed me on a list for a CBT course as I don't want to go back on anti-depressants. I've not long got back to my old self again, but now I feel like I'm losing me. My partner is so supportive, but there's not much he can do. I've got to work tomorrow, I work in a shop which is worse as it's one of the places my panic is worse, typically! Can anyone give me some advice please?? Feel like I'm desperately trying to swim and constantly floundering :( Thanks Gem

[daybyday]

I don't have any great advice, but I do understand the trying to swim and just floundering. So well put.
The fact the panic is coming more often is likely because you were so happy they were gone and now wonder about it all being back again.
Maybe there was something that was very subtle that triggered it all again. A thought, something or someone you saw.

[gemstar07]

Thank you for your reply. :) My nephew who is now 6 months old has a serious heart condition and has had to have 2 operations already, it's been a rough ride for the last 6 months, my doctor thinks it could be this that has triggered it, I tend to think I'm fine and not deal with things, then wham! they all build up and it gets too much, now the constant anxiety about having a panic attack at work again is getting to be too much, I really don't know what to do, as I work in a small shop there's only ever 2 people on shift, so if tomorrow night I panic, there's no one else, I feel so trapped and as this anxiety is wearing me down, I'm losing the strength to fight it :(

[AbbyH]

Aww Gem, I feel for you. I'm going through it all over again myself. It's so hard..Just keep fighting, they only thing that will make us better is to stay in situations that makes us panic unfortunatley.....just remember you did it once and you can do it again.

Hugs : )

[jackie13]

Hi Gem

It sounds like you have had alot on your mind with your Nephew. I have been in a similar situation regarding the feeling of being trapped at work and letting people down, loads of "what ifs", now I just think "so what", I just try and ride with it and then it never lasts long at all. xx

[LiquidSky]

hi gem,
I've suffered from anxiety/panic for 9 years on and off, I was anxiety free for nearly 2 years but it all came back this year, so I know the worry about are you going to go back to what you were before and the terrible disappointment of it all starting again just when you thought you'd beaten it. It will go again and you will be better again, you're going through a very stressful situation at the moment and the anxiety bug loves nothing more than those to anchor itself and dig its claws in. Just remember you've beaten it away before and you can do it again. A CBT course would be a good thing to do, so it's good that you are on the list :) If I feel a panic attack coming, I just try and let it flow through me, doesn't always work, but I know that it will pass, so concentrate on the positives, I close my eyes for a second or two and imagine I'm on a beach and just been hit with a strong warm breeze and just let it rush over me. They are just sensations and they do pass. :)

[olderfella]

Hi Gem as already stated you have beaten it before you can and will beat it again,stay strong think positive:winks:

[gemstar07]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's always good to hear you're not alone ad be reminded that I can beat it, after all like you all said I've done it once before. :) I'm still very wound up today, but as the sun is shining, me and my partner are gonna take a walk down the beach before I go to work to try and calm me a bit. He's amazing I must say, he knows I'm panicky without even having to say anything :) A few hours till work, I'll take all you advice with me and let you know how I get on this evening :) Again thank you, you are stars :)

[gemstar07]

Hi guys, just a quick update. Thanks for all your encouragement, I've made it through 2 days of work, very panicky indeed, had relatively small attack, and bigger one this evening in a shop, had to come home, now dreading working tomorrow and we have a staff meeting, which I'm going to struggle to stay in :( Despite coping well considering, I'm full of dread and panic constantly, it's so tiring :( Struggling to stay positive. Hope you all are though!! Big hugs x

[tambo12]

there are many ways to beat this condision .
I have had panic attacks and anxiety for 12 years .
I tried everything but it came down to me standing up to myself in the end .
You have to belive that you are stronger than the attacks .
I know they are scary and I know that you fell like your dying , but your not and they do pass.
Try to let it pass over you like a wave , the attack will happen but the more you fight it the worse it my feel .breath deep and try to let it pass .
this may help you as well http//tinyurl.com/2w5ngap