How do people manage relationships?

[Typer]

How do people manage relationships while having panic attacks? Do some people have supportive friends or partners?

[olderfella]

Speaking for myself the answer is with great difficulty sometimes,my partner of 20yrs was always used to me being confident,outgoing with a fear of nothing till i developed anxiety and panic,now we have arguments as she says i make myself worse by questioning every thing i do several times before i do anything ,it cant be fun for partners having to put up with our fears,but hopefully most people get support from loved ones

[paula lynne]

I think it depends also on the depth of your relationship, and the type of person your partner is. Its such a struggle for them too, seeing us suffering, and resentment and frustrations can build up. Reassuring each other that you love each other often really helps. Also, encouraging your partner to read up, in their own time, about your particular problem can be really useful. I often think our partners suffer as much as us in a way. x

[calm]

just like olderfella...i was always confident tracey, fun-loving and bubbly.....now since june....it has changed and my hubby is finding it hard to cope with....and so is my daughter...and i guess everyone around me.
some people have stopped calling - and that is oh so sad....so it affects everyone around us and all relationships.

[calm]

paula..that is oh so true....my hubby does not want to read anything about it...just bury's his head.....but that is life i guess......hopefully it will improve xxxxx

[Vixxy]

Ive managed a few successful relationships. In fact my husband met me just days before I had a massive relapse! He thought I was worth sticking around for and Im glad he did.
not everyone can cope wih it and I tend to just let those relationships/freiendships drift away to nothing.

[calm]

oh vixxy....your hubby sounds great xxxx

as you say no not everyone can cope with it....and yes unfortunately relationships/friendships do drift away.....but the true ones stay with us xxxxxx

[debs71]

For me, the people who support and understand me most are my parents. No question. I have one particular friend who is a massive support for me, because she has suffered with depression and anxiety herself.She lives in Wales so we chat on MSN and what is great is that we don't egg each others anxiety on (as can sometimes happen with 2 anxious people), but we are able to support each other when one of us is having problems without fear of judgment. I have had problems when it comes to relationships (not that I have had loads) as guys tend to misconstrue my lack of self confidence and worry as moodiness so get hacked off with me. I have yet to meet someone and trust them so implicitly that I can open up about my anxiety/depression to be perfectly honest, and I think it takes a really special person and real unconditional love to support someone with conditions like that.

[olderfella]

I have a friend who is always there if i need someone to speak to choose what the time he will always answer the phone as my partner doesnt wish to learn about anxiety or panic,but as Tracy said thats life

[gemstar07]

I've found people react in different ways. The first time I had panic and depression my ex was not understanding at all and looking back probably fed my anxiety. However my partner now, (experiencing my panic for the first time lately) is so supportive. (I must admit it wasn't until he saw me have an attack though) but still, I'm shocked, he's read up on it, asking for advice from everyone, researching things that might help. And slowly I'm hoping I'll get through this again. :) As for friends, I did lose a few. The real ones are still here. Most of my family don't understand or sympathise with me at all and I've learnt that when my anxiety is bad the best thing is to avoid the topic with them as it makes me more anxious. Surrounding oneself with love and and support in whatever form is sooooo important :hugs:

[Typer]

I too have a few supportive friends but some people just don't know how to handle me. Because I get palps so bad, I spent months not going anywhere or doing anything and lost contact a bit with people. When I have the palps, I then get panic and it must be hard for people to know what to say or do.

Some times I feel very alone and wish someone would just hug me or say it will be okay.

I am glad some of you have some great support....that is heart warming

[debs71]

Oh, Typer......

Here is a big hug from me....:hugs:

...albeit a virtual one. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.XX

[heavenly]

Its only been 6 weeks for me and other half doesn't understand what I am going through as he has never suffered from them, but he is being supportive, even though I know sometimes I sound like a complete fruitcake. He is a calming, laid back person which is a great help. I know its early days, I just hope that I don't become too much of a burden to him. But he does know I am doing everything I can to beat this. I am having counselling, started tai chi, taking vitamins for the nervous system, am caffeine free and have given up smoking. I think if I was doing nothing at all and kept saying 'woe is me', he would find it hard to cope with. And I wouldn't blame him!

[Typer]

Good for you heavenly

Debs thanks for the hug

[alihud]

I dont have a good experience with relationships and anxiety except with my mum.She is very supportive thank goodness.My ex husband had an affair while i was suffering with post natal depression and that has affected my life since,it was an incredibly cruel thing to do,he said he was fed up trying to cope with me.
I dont have any close friends now so i have to cope on my own unfortunately although i do see a counsellor.
Ali

[olderfella]

Thats horrible ali but remember mate what goes around comes around thankfully you got a good mum:)