My first Pyschologist visit

[JAYQ]

Well today i had my first visit with my psychologist so today was pretty much a sit down of me telling him everything that has been going on the past 2-3 years and him writing down notes and gathering my info. The past week i had been feeling good again and i let him know that by exercising daily and all that, sleep fine, appetite ok, no lingering anxiety pretty much.

Well he said i will come in friday to take a psycholigical test or whatever and then will have a follow up on monday to go over results.

So when i get back home to eat and change for work i was chilling on the couch for a minute and guess what? I had the ill weak feeling come over me again, WTF? It has been lingering the rest of this day so far, and once again my feet started to get damp and clammy. All week they were fine but since i have those feelings they get worse.

I should be feeling great after getting that all of my chest to my doctor, so why the hell am i feeling a bit of this crap again? Makes no sense to me and makes me ponder health again :(

[Hazel B]

I had this after my 3rd counselling session, been crying ever since and doubting my ability to cope. For me, it's because I'm saying things out loud that have poisoned my mind for years, making myself vulnerable and being brave. It's difficult to open up when it's all been knotted inside me for so long.
It's a slow process, keep doing all the good stuff you listed and be kind to yourself.

[JAYQ]

Ya i just dont understand how i can be feeling pretty good the past week have my visit to feel even better and i did leaving. Then get home and start to feel this crap again. I hate it so much, i just want to feel normal all day everyday like i use too. Not this shitty weak, ill, clammy feet, loss of appetite, faintness, feeling all the time that doenst ever just stay away for good. I will be glad to get my full blood count done soon so i can ease my mind a little more.

[Hazel B]

I know JUST how you feel, rest assured you're not alone. I honestly think opening up in therapy starts a little blip as we "expose" our true selves. It will be worth it, stay strong.

[sarah_85]

i have only had 3 sessions with my therapist and i feel anxious after every one, and sometimes even wake up with panic attacks during the nights following my sessions. i have been reassured that when you start seeing someone, it can get worse before it gets better. im guessing this is because you are confronting your demons as it were, and sometimes that in itself can be unsettling. however, as you get further into your therapy, you will begin to learn ways to cope and different ways of thinking, so hang on in there. and another piece of advice, try and be as honest with your therapist as possible, because the are there do help you, and they cant do it without your complete and utter honesty. i say this because at first i was worried the therapist would this is was crazy/selfish or just judge me for things i said. they wont, all they want to do is help you overcome the difficulties :)
the very best of luck. xxx

[Hazel B]

You've summed it up perfectly Sarah, I have "protected" myself all these years with pent up emotions and thoughts, when in fact they have brought me to the brink of total despair. Once I decided to be honest and let it go I did feel relief but it's frightening!

Keep on going both of you! x

[trooper]

Hi JAYQ, I wouldn't feel disheartened, its normal to feel a bit better once you know that you're getting help. When someone listens to you without judging and the release of letting all of the things which have been bothering you out in the right place.

The changes that you seek may take time, and the journey along the way its likely you'll go up and down.

When you think about it, anxiety as a condition and all the physical and psychological habits that come with it built up over time. And it takes time for you to un-learn them, or at least create new ways of being.

I have been seeing a psychotherapist for over a year now, I am not suggesting you will need too, but it took me nearly 6 months to truely learn to trust my therapist allow myself to open up. And the things I thought were the cause were really not at all, it was much deeper and more surprising.

I spent the first three months crying all the time, I could even explain why. I could hardly watch the TV, the slightest emotionally challanging thing and I would cry. And i mean howling, with actual physical pain across my chest. And feeling sick, shaking the works.

Why, I couldn't necessarily explain, but I knew it was healthy even though at the time it was painful and felt awful. If you have things locked up inside of you, the only way to get rid of them is to allow them out. And sometimes that is painful, and its normal to avoid pain. With the help of a good therapist, you can be guided on allowing these things to be released. Once given a place to be expressed they soften and in most cases go altogether.

When I look back over a year I can see massive differences in how stable my moods are, my perception of myself, my understanding of my beliefs about myself and the world. And how all of these act as triggers which have kept me trapped in anxiety for all of my adult life.

The changes are subtle and happen over time, so there have been various times that I have felt I am not getting anywhere, in fact at various times I thought I was getting worse. And this can be a normal part of the process, sometimes you need to break down before you can rebuild.

There is also an element of vulnerability, whist the way we feel with anxiety etc is not nice, it is 'normal' if you have had it for a long time and change is hard for the human brain, even though it will be better for you. Also, we all have our emotional and mental shields, sometimes these need to be broken down to fix what is underneith, and this is even more of a vulnerable place. Which can be scary and bring up fear and anxiety unto itself.

If I could offer any advice it would be to stick with it. As they say in life, you may encourter defeats but you must not be defeated. Don't fear it, embrace it, the healing process can be difficult the same as serious excersize can hurt your muscles, but if you push through it, you become stronger for it, healthier and happier.

Keep your eyes on the prize and keep working through it, you'll get there. :)

[evil monkey]

sorry to hijack....but wondered, are there any guys that didnt want to cry during counselling session ?

[trooper]

EM. Naughty hi-jacker. Yes, I didn't at the start. My therapist was very sensitive to this and didn't push me, its only now we have been working together for a year that he will perhaps push me to darker places beccause I am more able to deal with them and let my emotions out in that environment. But at the start I had the shutters up.

[JAYQ]

I told everything to my therapist that i told my mom in person when she visited last week. When i was telling her i broke down and cried some, but i didnt with my therapist, i felt at one point i was but i just held my composure and pressed on with my story.

[blue moon]

Hi Jay,I hope all is going well.It is quiet normal to cry when we open up and start to talk to Therapist,I always do.It gets easier.:hugs:
Love Petra x