Christine Ingham

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Last week I decided to be more proactive about getting better.

I was thinking of hypnotherapy, CBT, relaxation CDs, alternative therapies.

I've had a book for a while called Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham. I wasn't especially impressed by the look of it and so I came onto here to try and swap it for a Claire Weekes book. It was only when someone said 'don't swap it, it's a brilliant book' that I thought I'd give it a go.

I'll admit, it is pretty good. So far there isn't that much that I haven't read elsewhere, but it's reassuring the way in which she goes through symptoms and explains, having suffered from panic attacks herself, that they do eventually go away.

I feel like I've had every symptom going. I've suffered with general anxiety, panic attacks and depression for 3 years. I feel like I'm at the point now where things are starting to fall back into place a little, but I'm so desperate to get there and be well that it's dragging itself out.

At the moment I feel depressed more than anything because I kind of feel like I'm getting back to my old self and, to be honest, i wasn't that keen on who I was anyway. I'm trying to look at it like I'm a catapillar changing into a butterfly and that transformation is a very difficult (but worthwhile) struggle.



Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[nomorepanic]

I have that book too and have read it all.

I think anything that reasssures us helps.

I like what you say about "..I kind of feel like I'm getting back to my old self and, to be honest, i wasn't that keen on who I was anyway. I'm trying to look at it like I'm a catapillar changing into a butterfly and that transformation is a very difficult (but worthwhile) struggle."

I don't think I will ever be the person I used to be but I am a much stronger, kinder more compassionate person than I could have ever been before so it is not a bad thing.

I hope you like the butterfly that you turn into as well.


Nicola

[Paddington]

that is a beautiful analogy.i used to feel like a butterfly that was being crushed under a wheel ,over and over again,and no-one noticed me.You know some times we are afraid to get completely well i think.It's because we are so used to being who we are that,it is almost a comfort!!!I mean what would be expected of us if we were 'better?What if we had a bad day and no-one believed us?I am on a slow road to recovery at present and all these things have come into mind.But better to be that free beautiful butterfly than the one crushed under the wheel.Let your self soar.love Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Trev]

I have this book and I think it's very good.

One thing that I found strange when I first read it was that she says that she is now glad that she had the panic attacks etc. I read this at the start of my problems and so I thought she must be mad at the time.
However, I can now see what she was getting at and it sounds like you have found the same.
It forces you to look at what you were doing and analyse it in a new light. I like your analogy :D

One thing to bear in mind. At the end, as you get better and can see the end in sight you do become a bit keen to rush it all. I found this to be a bit of a trap as it made me agitated trying to get the last bit over with and also it brought up a fear of slipping back! I think these feelings alone are enough to keep the last bits of it all alive. I reckon it's a case of applying the same old acceptance and "so what?" attitude and ignoring the calendar. Good luck and glad to hear you are doing well.

Cheers,
Trev :D

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I read something in the Christine Ingham book that struck a chord with me. I wouldn't say that I am especially close to my mum (although that's probably more to do with my inability to form close relationships that any fault of hers, because she's lovely), but what she says about the fear of being parted from the Mother made sense to me.

I've always had a big fear about travelling to the other side of the world and being away from 'home' (my mother/family really, I think).

And my first serious relationship was with a woman much older than me (a 'surrogate' mother). It was that relationship ending which brought on my depression/panic attacks and, I think, it's me feeling grief and loss at being parted from my mother figure.

Am I thinking too much about it?

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[Trev]

It may be there's something in it. I do believe that we can spend sometimes too much time analysing things and getting concerned about what it throws up.
Generally, I think that deep down you know how you feel about things and what things it is that you are worried about or not dealing with properly. It's that "gut" feeling that is generally right but it's sometimes about facing that gut feeling and doing something about it!
I think it's good to deal with stuff but I suppose the key is not to allow it to become something to obsess over.
This whole thing has made me look at a few issues in a new light I suppose.

Cheers,
Trev