Need some advice !!

[daisies]

Hi everyone,

I've been suffering from social anxiety for as long as I remember. I'm 20 years old and since leaving school at 16 it's become worse. After leaving school, I was practically house bound for 3 years (leaving the house just 6 or 7 times) I avoided all social situations, fearing every type of situation you can imagine. I'm particularly fearful of blushing in front of others which to me, happens with even the most simplest of tasks like paying a cashier. Finally last year I built up the courage to enrol on a college course, which was a complete nightmare and did nothing for my confidence (if anything has made me worse) I've now dropped out of college and I'm back to square 1... unable to leave the house again, spending most of my time alone etc. The thought of leaving my house puts me in a panic. The few times I have left my house in the last 6 months I've had to have someone with me because I feel extremely nervous and so have the tendency to freeze up including times where I've frozen in the middle of the road. My heart beats extremely fast and I get into a state of complete panic. Because of this I haven't been able to visit a doctor and the thought talking to someone about this makes me feel sick to the stomach. I have no income and being 20 I now have responsibilities such as bills to pay which is putting me under more stress. I don't think I'm able to claim benefits as I'm not receiving any treatment. All this is pushing me into a depression. :weep: I feel like I'm in a downward spiral. Please help any advice is appreciated.

[Vanilla Sky]

Just wanted to welcome you to NMP :welcome:
Paige x

[Nigel]

Hi Daisies, and :welcome: to NMP!

I suffer from social anxiety to a certain extent too, but it’s just about social situations and interacting with other people, especially if I’m uncertain what to do or if I feel I might look silly in some way, or feel that I don’t fit in or don’t have anything I can talk about. A fear of being negatively judged by others is a good way of summing it up.

But I don’t worry about going out as such so it seems as if this has developed into more than just social anxiety, and I’d suggest having a good look through all the info and posts on NMP and see what you can learn.

A good way of tackling agoraphobia is ‘baby steps’. Just stepping outside the front door if that’s feels comfortable at first... then a few steps down the path next time... then perhaps to the front gate... then maybe one house along the street... then two... etc... The secret is to not try to do too much at once and scare yourself, but at the same time keep pushing forward – even it that’s just one extra step each day.

And that blushing – it’s a lot more common than you probably think. For most people the most common cause is being afraid of it happening, which makes for a bit of a catch 22! So the secret is not to think about it so much, which isn’t easy, is it? What might be easier is to simply not care about it so much, because when a person doesn’t really care about something they automatically don’t think about it much.

So what would happen if the next time you had to pay the cashier, you blushed? :blush:
Would the sky fall! :meh:
Would the earth swallow you up!? :scared11:
Would the cashier say anything, or would they even notice?? :shrug:
Probably not :rolleyes:
They’re too busy doing their job, or thinking about the next customer, or even worrying about their own worries :unsure:

Take care :)
Nigel

[paula lynne]

Welcome aboard :welcome:great advice from Nigel on agoraphobia. Also, very helpful info on the left, a good place to start. Im happy to know you x

[daisies]

Hi, thank you all for your advice it's much appreciated i'm feeling pretty low today with all the bills im not able to pay... does anyone know if i could claim any benefits even if i am not recieving treatment? i feel like a worthless waste of space for even asking but i cant cope anymore :weep: i really am close to the edge today..........

[jada]

Hi hunny.
My advice would be to try and get some form of treatment.
I have put off having treatment for 7years. I started on anti-anxiety drugs just 4days ago and already I am beginning to feel a lot more positive and hopeful and my panic symtoms are lessening. Wished I'd gone to the doctors years ago.
Please consider giving it a try.
My doc has also referred me to the mental health team for axiety management...I am waiting for an appointment. There's lots of help out there...hope we can point you in the right direction.

Luv 'n hope
Jan x

[Spagetti]

Hi Daisies,

Im sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. You dont need financial stress on top of everything else.

http://www.benefitshelpline.com/

You could apply for unemployment benefit but you will be expected to apply for jobs on a regular basis. You can apply for incapacity benefit but you need to be seeking treatment.

Either way I urge you to visit your GP. Do you have a friend or family member who could go with you? You may also find it easier to write down your feelings to give to the doctor; perhaps print out your first post.

I understand it is hard to make the first step but I promise it will be worth it.

Let us know how you get on

Spag xx

[caz1625]

My GP comes out to see me. Phone the surgery and ask for a home visit.

Carol x

[mistyhaiz]

hi have been feeling the same way to never leaving the house my partner came with me to see my gp he referred me to a councellor i saw him him for the first time today may i just say i felf such a relief knowing i wasn't going crazy it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. please find the strength to seek help it makes you feel so much better x