Failed

[Elle-Kay]

I'm feeling a bit of a failure at the moment [V] On Saturday, I went to my aunt's wedding in Hull (I live in Lincoln). I was a bit nervous in the morning about the journey etc, but took my Kalms & rescue remedy and was quite impressed that I was actually fine - only one moment of acute anxiety when the roads got pretty bad from the snow, and I realised that my screen washer jets were frozen solid. I got there, was a bit nervous on having stopped the car (suddenly not having to concentrate I guess), but got inside, located the ladies and soon got chatting with the rest of the assembled family, and was ok again. Got through the ceremony & through the meal after ok, but after the dessert I started to feel REALLY ill (I was roasting hot, had already had a headache, and felt really sick), which in turn made me really panicky. I asked my sister if she would come outside with me to get some fresh air, which she did, but it only got worse (the illness and the panic), and I ended up being ill in the car park [xx(] (partly because I felt safer sat in my dad's car than back inside the hotel). Being physically ill from panic is something that has NEVER happened to me, in all the many years I've been suffering, and whilst part of me is saying that because of that it MUST have been something I ate (the cream in the profiteroles tasted a bit suspect to be honest), or that I was ill anyway (I actually had a migraine 24 hours later, during last night, which often makes me ill with it), but the other half is saying that those reasons are only excuses, and that I've failed, after doing so well for so long, by giving in to the panic :( In the end, I had to ask my fiancee to drive me home, but even now, thinking about it is making me shiver :(

--- Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

[carlin]

i there,
Failed...at what may i ask? How can going to a wedding, surviving the journey there, sitting through the ceremony, having a meal and feeling unwell be a failure? My goodness, i think you have had a huge success!!!! It sounds very much, in my opinion, that maybe the meal upset you and that was why you were unwell. think you done real good. by the way i don't do the word fail xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Leah

You didn't fail atall. You did really well and it sounds to me like you were coming down with something anyway and hence being sick.

They were not excuses atall and you are allowed to be ill and not just from panic etc.

Hope you feel better today?

Nicola

[Paddington]

hi i echo what everyone else has said.WELL DONE GIRL!!WHAT A TRIUMPH!Driving,going to a wedding,sitting thru a meal,wow,what a trooper.You were poorly is all.I know that feeling ill can bring on panic,but hey girlie you are an inspiration to us all.One day i hope to do what u have done with only a rescue remedy to hand!Let it go the feeling of failure,you are proof we can all triumph.God bless.Mary-Rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jackie]

YOU DIDNT FAIL. YOU HAD A BLIP, A SETBACK, A CRUCIAL EXPERIENCE WHEN RECOVERING.

CLAIRE WEEKES BELIEVES BLIPS ARE ESSENTIAL FOR RECOVERY AND HELPS US DEAL BETTER WITH LIFE ITSELF EVEN WHEN YOU ARE BETTER

YOU ARE FINE. DONT PUNISH YOURSELF, THIS WAS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF GETTING BETTER, LEARN FROM IT AND MOVE ON.

WELL DONE FOR GETTING THIS FAR
JACKIE

[Robertc160882]

Hi Leah,

I would just like say congratulations to you and I think in no way did you fail I think you did brilliant to achieve everything you did in one day. Like you say you haven’t felt like that before so it was probably something dodgy that you have ate.

It is insensitive to say you have failed and I think you know on a personal level that you haven’t failed. Remain positive and may you be able to achieve more and more in the coming months.

Robert

[darkangel]

Well done Leah - I felt stressed even reading your message!

Anyone without anxiety would feel stressed at driving in snow, then the wind screen fiasco, then entering the building. You done so well.

Sometimes we deal with things and it is only afterwards that the panic will hit. Tension will have been mounting all day in your body and perhaps after the meal you were beginning to relax then WHAM - it hits. Of course out minds try and figure out why it happened and the immediate thing you think of is - it must be what I ate! (I am exactly like this).

Dont let this put you backwards, put it behind you and learn from it, look at what you did do and never feel you have failed.

Take care for now

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[india]

Hi there, i agree with all the above! I'm not sure why but i always feel worse after eating a large meal, and its worse when you're at a function like a wedding, because you can't just slump on a settee afrerwards! I have been sick (well urging) whilst panicking before, and i know how scared you are, you think you've experienced all the symptoms possible, and then WHAM a new one rears it's head. However i 've not been sick since, although at the time i was convinced i was going to be throwing up everywhere all the time!

Well done for what you've achieved

Take care, India xx

[Karen]

Hi Leah

This was definitely NOT failure. You went in spite of your anxiety and being ill is nothing to be ashamed about.

It sounds like you were either coming down with something, or a migraine can cause nausea and sickness - I've had this with migraines.

Think a big well done for coping so well is called for!

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[Elle-Kay]

Thank-you all. I hope you are right and this is just a little blip. I am going back to work tomorrow after having today off due to still feeling under the weather, and am a little nervous at the moment ("in case I am ill again"), but I know this is irrational and irrational things just don't happen because you imagine that they might, so I'm trying to stay positive. I'm going to get an early night tonight with my lavender pillow spray and either Ewan McGregor DVD or Pride and Prejudice, and see how I get on tomorrow :)

Leah xx

--- Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

[sal]

Hope tomorrow goes okay hun.

You did as much as anyone could even feeling well. You pushed yourself and coped you didnt fail at all. Dont be so hard on yourself. Give credit where credit is due and you deserve that. You could have not gone but that wasnt part of the equasion for you and i am sure you know that if you really think about it.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[Alexandra]

Hi Leah,

As the others say hunny you have not failed. You are fantastic for getting through the car journey & then into the wedding/reception well done you. Huge thumbs up & hug for you. You achieved so much on that day.

Take Care & keep smiling

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Leah, I agree that you didn't fail at all. You got all the major obstacles over with like the journey, sitting through the ceremony, etc. I must admit on Sunday I had a touch of food poisoning, I could kick myself because I re-heated a chinese takeaway from the night before, & whilst I was eating it I thought to myself "I hope i'm not going to regret this!" How stupid was I, the symptoms were awful. I was so sick, had really bad stomach cramps & thought there was no way I'd make it into work on Monday. I was exhausted by the time i'd finished being sick, & my anxiety was worse than ever, but the headache was the worst I've ever had. I've never suffered from migraine, it may well have been a migraine, the pain was awful & I just wanted to sit in the dark & try & get over this awful throbbing & I've never shook so much in all my life.

I think you were just poorly Leah & well done on getting there. That in itself is a huge success.

Les

[Dan]

please dont think you failed you did very well and i suspect were genuinley poorly there are so many bugs around my son was off and sick v hot yesterday along with my sis and her kiddies so please feel proud to sit thru ceromomy etc was achievement
hope you better tody
Dan

[Meg]

Leah

You did great !!

Hope you are feeling better about the situation now and NOT giving yourself negative messages about it all

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Elle-Kay]

Thanks everyone for the encouraging thoughts. I actually feel much better now, and had a short moment earlier on where I looked forward to moving into my new home with my fiancee in a few weeks time again, instead of instantly dreading it. I was a little nervous on Tuesday when I went back to work, and after coming home that lunchtime, but I seemed to get back into the routine for most of today, and not even think about it, and I was rewarded by my boss telling me he thinks I'm marvellous, and giving me a £1000 payrise, so what more could I ask for? :)

Thank-you all again, SO much for being here when I needed to vent a bit - I really, really do appreciate it! *hugs to all*!!

Leah xx

--- Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

[sal]

Hi Leah

Keep looking forward to it and wish you the best of luck and loads of happiness. You deserve it.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".