i know it is oh so wrong.......

[calm]

hi my dear dear friends xxxxx

well had the letter through the post re: kerrylouise's radioactive scan...next wednesday!

i went into overdrive and nearly collapsed....and yes i know this is due to not eating...paula, as i have said i have put on jacket potatoes for the family.

i have taken two diaz...making the dose 5mg!

i am going to see my doc on friday...my mind and body cannot take much more xxxxxx

[Hazel B]

It's a credit that you are such a loving Mum, it's natural to worry but when we have anxiety it's so much more amplified. I'm sure it will all be OK, I've had loads of scans lately and they were all non-scary and non-invasive. She'll be in the right place and it shows that they are looking after her properly.
Hope the Diaz kicks in, 5mg isn't too high, thinking of you. x

[calm]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hazel

i dont think the gp will give me anymore....and i dont know how i am going to cope - next week i just know i am going to be such a state of high anxiety....more than normal if that is possible.

i just want this all to be over...and results back and everything ok xxxxx please god xxxxxxx

[Hazel B]

I am thinking of you, the trouble with anxiety is that we fear a future event so much, then it's NEVER as bad as we think.

They are doing right by your lovely girl and I'm glad it's come quick, otherwise you'd have longer to wait and worry. My tests took months to come and that was supposedly "urgent", she will be in good hands, every nurse/radiologist I have met recently has been kind and professional. x

[Vixxy]

This much anxiety over a child really really proves how much of a caring and loving mum you are. Maybe next time you feel the anxiety start you can tell yourself its not such a bad thing. Feeling like crap is never a good thing, but its coming from a good place.

[calm]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - thank you so so much.

i know that i have let things go way over the top...guilt from four years ago when i was ill has a major part to play...and i am relieving that every moment of the day.

i just want her to be happy and contented and not scared like before.

thank you so much hazel and vixxy...thank you for talking to me xxxx i know i need to calm down...or i will end up in blooming hospital again....and thats the thing i fear most...and if i dont stop...thats where i will end up! xxxxxxxxx

[Anxious_gal]

aw I'm sorry your sooo stressed out, I know how it feels and even the small things will start to stress you out :-(

[Anxious_gal]

if eating is hard, try cup a soups, you can get ones such as Knorr , which has added vitamins in them. I find I can drink liquids when I can't eat.
milk, hot chocolate, fizzy drinks for the calories,

[Clairalou]

Hi calm,
I totally understand your worry my little boy has various Health problems, I get very anxious everytime we get an appointment, test or assessment which seems to be every week I feel like I'm living on a knife edge with it all. We love our children so much is natural for us to be concerned and anxious I just think our own anxieties make all that worse!
xxxx

[calm]

mishel - i am going to try to eat something in the daytime....but tonight i did have a jacket potatoe....so that is good and a glass of milk.

clairalou...oh my love...it is so hard isnt it...i am trying to calm down but i have got in just a cycle of anxiety....and yes like you there is something every single week!...we are always up the docs...thankfully they know her condition and are very sympathetic. you have summed it up....it is like living on a knife edge....it is!

clairelou....if you need me for support or anything please do not hesitate to pm me xxxxxxx

[Anxious_gal]

wohho good for you! I'm going to cook some noodles soon. :-)

oh yeah Milk is great for when it's hard to eat.

[WillowTree]

Hi calm :hugs:

I don't know what condition your daughter has but I really sympathise with your fear; I was a wreck when my son had to have an operation to have grommets put in his ears and that was a simple op! It's natural to feel like you do; I would rather suffer myself than have my son suffer. Being a parent means your life is never the same again I think!

How are you feeling today?

[calm]

mishel...i have done even better this evening...two quorn burgers, mash, veg and gravy followed by dessert plus just had a twix bar....im better in the evenings so i can eat!....and i have this evening...which i am thrilled about.

willow....you have summed it up perfectly......kerrylouise has kidney problems and is going for a radioactive scan on wednesday as long as she does not get another urine infection...please god she does not...or it will have to be postponed she is getting them every two weeks...her 1st scan showed up an abnomality.

willow....today...not as bad but my mil was with me most of the day.....i love the evenings....how are you doing willow....how are you feeling xxxx