View Full Version : Any tips I can use to get through concert?
Hi
Tomorrow night I have tickets to see Michael Buble - wow! I love him! But big problem is I don't think I'm gonna be able to get there. I am agoraphobic and suffering from every anxiety and phobia going. My husband said he will drive slowly and will stop if I need him to on the way. He even suggested booking a hotel for the night so I don't have to contend with the return journey on the same night. But I feel this will just be prolonging the anxiety until I get home. 6 months ago when we booked the tickets I was hoping I would be better by now. But unfortunately i am worse.
I hate being like this and would love to just look forward to something and go and enjoy it but the whole event will just be a nightmare from start to finish. I'm so scared of the journey, getting stuck in traffic, being so far from home, having a panic attack, claustrophobia of being in the concert, ruining the night for my husband etc etc...
I feel so ill anyway but I can't just stay indoors forever. I want to fight this. Anyone got any ideas/tips how to get through tomorrow so I don't let everyone including myself down??? I haven't been further than 5 miles from my home for about 2 years.
jothenurse
03-10-10, 13:35
Use a lot of distraction. Go with the panic, don't fight it. Use breathing techniques. Concentrate on the concert.
Hi, Michael Buble - I'd love to see him, he's great!! You're suffering from the "what if's" and winding yourself up about the whole event. You may not get stuck in traffic, you may not have a panic attack, you may not spoil it for your husband!! When you get there you will have such a wonderful time. And when you get there you'll be so proud of yourself that you've done it. Claire Weekes says "point the body in the right direction, accept and go". Of course it will be stressful for you, but if you can accept that you're going to be anxious then I'm almost positive you'll enjoy it when you arrive there. Recovery comes in doing the things we fear the most and I'm sure that you have it in you to go to your concert if you muster up as much acceptance as you can. Don't under-estimate yourself:hugs:You can and you will!! I hope you have a wonderful night x
Hey, what a fantastic opportunity to see Michael Buble live - lucky you! Focus on that - how great to hear him sing - to be in the same room as him - visualise the fun, the pleasure, the excitement - keep that vision with you and DO NOT anticipate things going wrong - this is going to be a great night out!
The worst that can happen is that you have to go home - dwell no more on that - if it happens it happens.
You are on the road to recovery because you bought the tickets in the first place - firmly showing your intention to get back out - go girl - you are on the way. Fear is natural in life - just as much a part of our lives as fun and laughter BUT in proportion - feal the fear and enjoy the ride.
Have a great time.
:D
Thank you all for your advice and support. It's so hard to re-train my way of thinking. I'm sure I will be standing on the hard shoulder of the motorway having a panic attack or running out of the concert half way through, stumbling down the steps in the dark trying to find an exit. Oh my god, what is wrong with me? The fear of all this is outweighing any pleasure of seeing him.
shaz go for it! u can do it! imagine how happy you will be when you can look back and say u did it! you have ur husband there to support you. please please try its amazing what facing your fears can do! yes its gonna be uncomfortable but just accept that and enjoy yours self! allow your self this one time to be anxious without beating your self up about it! cant wait to hear what a great time u have had! go for it!!!
olderfella
03-10-10, 15:41
Go for it Shaz as maj said your winding yourself up,what a night of enjoyment you can have put a cd on in the car and sing along
Thanks for the great encouragement guys. I will use all your suggestions and let you know how I get on. Feel so scared though and can't actually imagine getting there yet!
Hi
Just read your post and can relate. The listening to the cd in the car on the way, sounds like a good idea, to help calm and relax you.
Try and imagine how good the evening is going to be and tell yourself you will not let panic enter the place where you are seeing the concert.You are leaving it outside and you are going to have a great evening. You deserve to have a good night.
I am off to Simply Red in a few weeks - I booked tickets when I had too much drink and felt brave :wacko:
I am now in a similar position to yourself as I am dreading being in amongst the crowd in the arena, even though we are at the front, I will be thinking of all the people behind us and in the arena, and what if this happens and that happens....and the only way I feel I can cope with it is to drink, plus I will listen to music on the way there.
I am determined to go however.
My tip to drink is not a good one I know, :blush: so any tips that work for you, it would be great to hear.
I hope you have a lovely evening.:)
Hi Shaz
I have just read your post
Go for it you will do it
I am going on holiday next week to Lanzarote and I dont like flying but I will go
I always carry a bottle of water with me and you can sip it if you get anxious and have you tried rescue remedy they say that it is good to help calm you down
Good luck you will do it.
Let us know how you get on
Joanx
I was in a similar place many years ago when I was at my worst - suffering from constant panic attacks and anxiety.
I had an opportunity to go to a concert and I desperately wanted to g - and didn't want to disappoint anyone.
I had planned so many things during that time that I'd had to cancel because I got so scared and I always regretted it afterwards, so I was determined to go.
At the time I had tranquilisers that were prescribed for me when I had a panic attack, but I didn't take them often because I didn't enjoy the way they made me feel. But I knew that at least they did the trick and calmed me doown when I was in panic mode. I always carried them with me wherever I went and they became like my own little life-boat.
I went to the concert with two tablets in my jeans pocket. Whenever I felt a prickle f panic, I put my hand on my pocket and felt these two little pills and that calmed me down, just knowing they were there and I could take them if I needed to.
I didn't have to take them at all and I did enjoy the concert. I'm so glad I went.
Always have an emergency plan - if gives you some security and peace of mind.
Hope this helps
IsolatedMoon
03-10-10, 17:55
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I have a ticket to see Skunk Anansie in November and I'm absolutely TERRIFIED as my agoraphobia has been so unbelievably bad recently! It's such an awful feeling, but you should really try to go! If you don't, you'll always wonder 'what if'? And if you do feel too uncomfortable there, you can always leave, but at least you tried! :)
Hi Shaz
Firstly lucky you, i love michael buble.
Often the thoughts before the event are often worse than the actual thing!
I went on the euorstar in august and was dreading it as my panic had got really bad again. On the morning i was anxious, but once i was on the train, the excitement etc seem to outweigh the panic and i was fine.
Please go and have a lovely time and then come back on here and tell me how great he was!
:hugs: mandie x
Oh god, I'm in the EXACT same position at the moment. I'm going to see Armstrong & Miller's live show in Manchester on Friday & I'm soooo worried about it, when any other time I would have been really excited.
But I just keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong rather than the positives. What if we get the wrong train? Get stranded in Manchester? Wrong Hotel? Something wrong with the tickets?
Anything...& it's really upsetting :(
Hi Shaz,
I see rather a lot of fortune telling and catastrophising going on here :winks:
But seriously, it’s true that whatever a person focuses their attention on, they tend to create more of it. So is it really such a good idea to be focusing on all the things you don’t want to happen :doh:
I think to stand the very best chance of having a really great night out, it would be far better to focus as hard as you can on ONLY the things that you DO want to happen, while imagining how well the whole evening will go, and how exciting the concert will be.
Another thing to keep in mind is that the way a person feels when panicky – butterflies in the stomach, fast heart beat, a bit on edge, etc – are very similar to the feelings you get when you feel excited. The only difference is the thoughts that accompany those feelings. So if you do think you’re starting to get anxious... maybe it’s excitement!
Have a great time tomorrow... and don’t forget to let us know how well it went :)
Take care,
Nigel
i too have been the same with concerts!!!! you will actually find that the worrying leading up to the show will be more than what you will actually feel!
take your husband up on the hotel room!!! it will be a great way to relax and unwind after the show!!!
you can do it!!!!! go for it!!!!!:yesyes:
Loads of good advice on here from everyone else, so for my two pennyworth, I would say that if you DON'T go, you'll really regret it as you'll be thinking of what might have been, instead of how fab it was to go to the concert.
hi, i had a gig booked for december last year, was a month after i got agoraphobia/ anxiety. i took my mum and he bf, where we stayed in hotel, i was goin to gig on my own, i took diazepam before i got on the 3 hour train journey to yorkshire. my mum dropped me off at venue, and my anxiety started, i was thinking what if i panic.. but i refused to let it make me leave, but as i was standing up near front (was a indie/rock gig) more people turned up and as 2nd band came on i felt sick and panicy as was on my own, so i asked security if could sit on balcony away from crowed, were mainly friends and family of the bands on balcony and were comfy seats :)
i had my bottle of water with me,
when the main band came on (there were four bands,) my anxiety dissapered and i was concentrating on the band and not my anxiety, after it ended i managed to walk around thru the big crowed, and even waited outside for an hour and managed to get in taxi on my own, my only regret is that i didnt stay down the front,
im so glad i went and i think once michael buble comes on stage your anxiety/panic will dissaper. hope you enjoy the gig:D
that was my last ever gig and i really miss goin to gigs,
Thanks so much for all your replies. It's so good to know I'm not the only one like this. I've already had a complete breakdown this morning, been up since 4am panicking. But I'm leaving in about 3 hours and I'm gonna try to get there. Aaargh.....M25 and London traffic....my head's spinning already!
ladybird64
04-10-10, 12:52
Hi Shaz
I'm an ex-agoraphobic and know exactly how you're feeling at the moment.:hugs:
But..if you don't get there you will feel so miserable for not having tried, I promise you.
I have seen a few posts recently about turning the "what-ifs" into "SO what-ifs"..so what if the traffic is a bit snarled up? I'm going to the concert anyway..
So what if the crowds seem overpowering? I'm here for the concert anyway..
Do you get my drift?:winks: This is going to do so much for your confidence, it honestly will. I haven't been to a concert for about 20 years (:weep:) so would love the opportunity to go, I think that nowadays I would really enjoy it!
You can do it, we are all rooting for you. :yesyes::hugs:
any updates on the concert? did you end up going? :whistles:
UPDATE......I MADE IT!!!!!:D
Yay. I haven't got alot of time atm so I'm gonna have to make this quick but wanted to let you all know that I did go and there were lots of anxious moments but I made it there and back!
I woke up that morning at 4am in a blind panic convinced I wasn't going and after an awful morning of crying, hiding from everyone, desperation, almost suicidal that my life wasn't worth living if I couldn't even do this.....I had a phone call. My Grandad was ill in hospital and they were trying to rescusitate him.
Well I thought what do I do now. I had been waiting 6 months for this day. My Mum and Husband had spent all morning convincing me to go and telling me I could do it so they were desperate for me still to go. I had an easy option out now but I decided to try and go and Mum said she would keep me informed of my Grandad. There was nothing I could do to help him.
About 10 mins into the journey I had an awful panic attack but I used my resources, bottle of water, mobile phone to text my friend, radio and I kept saying out loud "I will go to this concert, I will live my life" After the panic subsided I told myself what worse could happen and after an hour we were there. Wow I'd made it! I was in busy London with my husband and I was going to make the most of it :)
Went inside the venue, it was huge. Got a bit scared but kept telling myself I'd come this far and I would be fine. Sussed out all the exits and my escape route incase I needed it and when the lights went down my husband held my hand and i knew I could leave if I wanted to. But I didn't. Michael Buble was fantastic. There were moments throughout when I thought about my aches and pains but I stayed in my seat and told myself I was fine. During the final song (my wedding song) I cried. I had enjoyed myself...for the first time since I could remember.
The journey home was easy, but my Husband had to tell me that my Grandad had passed away a few hours earlier. He had refrained from telling me any earlier as he thought I had enough to deal with. So I was sad but also proud of myself. There was nothing I could have done or achieved by sitting at home. It gave me the push to get out there and make the most of my life. Cos you're only here once and i found out that day that it's gone too quick.
So I'm not cured and I still feel terrible, maybe some of it's grief, but I have some hope that I can live my life and one day I WILL be better.
Hi
So sorry to hear about your grandad, thats bound to cause you some anxiety
and ..:yesyes::yahoo:fantastic that you made it to the concert and you enjoyed it
I am so pleased for you
:bighug1: mandie x
olderfella
08-10-10, 16:35
Sorry for you loss,but a big big well done:D
MidnightCalm
08-10-10, 17:00
Ahh, I've got a short holiday in devon next week, not sure how I'm going to get through it, being far away from home is the worst! I just get a horrible tension and need to get home and then the panic starts and symptoms get worse because I'm worrying about them happening.
They're happening on a daily basis for me so I'm guessing they're going to happen when I'm there and I'm going to be stuck indoors pacing!
Hi Shaz,
I’m really sorry about your Grandad. It must’ve been a very sad end to what was a successful day. But I bet he’s looking down and feeling so proud of you for beating your fears and making it to the concert – and enjoying it :)
“I kept saying out loud "I will go to this concert, I will live my life...”
There’s a little trick you can play with words when you say things like that. It’s good and positive as it is, but the word ‘will’ implies something that will happen in the future. But because it hasn’t yet happened, there’s always a chance that it might not. ‘ing’ words are even more positive and inspiring.
“I am going to this concert, I am living my life...”
This time it’s actually happening ‘now’ – at this very moment – so there’s no question about it.
Onwards and upwards Shaz :)
Nigel
I just wanted to add that it really helped knowing you lot were all rooting for me. It's so awful to be scared to be away from home but I kept telling myself that I was my home, not the bricks (if that makes sense!).
My Nan suffered from severe mental illness to the extent where she had electric shock treatment and was in and out of hospital all her life. This was the only place she went because in all my life I never see her leave the house. Then my Grandad stopped going out and spent everyday sitting in a chair in front of the tv. So they are both gone now and done so little with their lives. I know this illness runs in my family and I suffer worse than most of my relatives but I won't let it beat me.
Midnight Calm... I know exactly how you feel. But you have to try because after my experience, nothing was as bad as I had hyped it up to be. And you might actually enjoy some of your time. I usually make my holiday accommodation my "new safe place". I haven't been away for a few years now but hope to soon. Take comforting things with you eg...book, magazines, hot choc for bedtime, fave cd's and spend some time relaxing.
Nigel, thankyou for the tip, makes alot of sense. I will use that next time :)
Hi Shazz
well done for going im so pleased for you and you should be too. what a great acheivement. Youve done it now so you can do it in future just remember that.
Sorry to hear abou tyour grandad he would be proud of you im sure.
tc
Hey Shaz, So sorry for your loss....... your grandad might have even been there in spirit with you which is nice to think of!!!!
So glad you made it, was sure thinking of you, have been in the same positions as you and its something you can look back on and be very proud of.
May he rest in peace
:hugs:
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